#EllieSouter didn't "die"--she committed suicide. Shocking thay her tragic loss is framed as a natural passing.
She chose her 18th birthday to exit this life. Her memory deserves more than #suicide hotline numbers tacked on at the end. Soutter was a star & role model. Do better.
We need to discuss #suicide
more, not less. Pretending that Ellie Soutter just died instead of having a plan to kill herself on her birthday is bad journalism. Her ex talked about her ongoing depression. Teens are under special stresses, especially those in the spotlight. 2/
Teens are also susceptible to copycat suicide--romanticizing the suicide of an 18 yr old star is dangerous. The suffering people endure prior to killing themselves and the suffering their loved ones endure after their passing is extreme and demands and deserves discussion.
3/
In all these recent celebrity suicides ----#KateSpade#AnthonyBourdain and now tragically young #EllieSoutter-- the discourse has been so superficial. Telling desperately sick people to just call a hotline number or "just reach out" is not nearly enough. We must do more. 4/
There is a stigma attached to discussion of mental illness and #suicide that is harmful and self-perpetuating. Mental illness is no different than physical illness. It demands treatment--often urgently--and it requires compassion. We need to open dialogue, not shut it down. 5/
I read several different articles on #EllieSoutter--all had suicide hotline numbers tacked onto the end but only one stated she killed herself.Eliding the cause of her death from the story just further stigmatizes mental illness and #suicide. It promotes shame--which is wrong.6/
The entire discourse on teen #suicide that could have and should have been opened by stating the cause of #EllieSoutter's terribly tragic death has been shut down. That benefits no one and actually harms millions of teens and others battling depression and suicidal ideation. 7/
I want to thank @karendevine84 for calling me on my initial tweet. I was trying to say all of this in one tweet--a mistake for which I apologize.
Journalists need to listen to readers valid complaints. It makes us better & more compassionate writers. We all benefit from that.
8/
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I don't think men really understand how different it is to be a woman out in the world and how quickly things can turn dangerous.
When I was living in New Orleans, I was walking home from work one night. It was fall--dark early & foggy.
A man came out of the fog toward me.
1/
He said hi, I said hi.
As he started to pass me, he asked me if I had the time.
I looked at my watch, looked up, he had a gun pointed at me.
He hit me so fast I wasn't able to steel myself.
I fell to the ground.
He said, "I could rape you right now, but I don't have time."
2/
He wanted my money.
I had the grocery money for the entire house (I lived with 3 other people) in my purse.
He took it and disappeared into the fog.
The whole thing was maybe ten minutes, start to finish.
I was shaking so hard I could hardly get up.
My head was bleeding.
3/
The majority of the working class in America is women and POC.
And white men as a group haven't voted majority Democrat since 1964--they stopped after LBJ signed the the #VRA.
Flip the narrative and start listening to the ACTUAL working class--the rest of us.
Stop centering white men for everything.
Stop claiming only white men can save us from the damage white men did to us.
Women are the working class--my investigation here:
.@matthewstoller is very worried about white men, but it's really women of all races who are facing the worst effects of economic and social stresses.
My investigation here: damemagazine.com/2018/05/10/why…
The relentlessness of passing over superb women with strong credentials & election histories in favor of whatever man is a headline at a moment is exhausting.
Two months ago it was Avenatti. Now it's O'Rourke.
Bypassing the majority of Americans--women--is a national disgrace.
O'Rourke is fine. He is not, Harris, Gillibrand or Klobuchar.
▪Gillibrand is Congress' leader on women's rights & sexual assault victims.
▪Harris set NN2018 on fire with her speeches reclaiming identity politics.
▪ Klobuchar highlighted #Kavanaugh's unfitness for SCOTUS.
Americans MUST stop looking past women to find some man, any man to supplant them.
It took THIRTY YEARS of incredibly hard work for @HillaryClinton to get to run for POTUS. The rules for women are so different. No one sees a woman give a single speech and says "president!"
I lived in NOLA right after college.
I drank most every day, as did everyone I knew.
We were all in the domestic Peace Corps, all in our early 20s, all hardworking activists with stressful work.
We drank too much at Mardi Gras, New Year's.
It's absurd to claim #Kavanaugh didn't.
Those of us who've had alcoholics in our lives--like Klobuchar--tend to be careful about alcohol because we've been damaged by the drunks in our lives. I'm a control freak, so never liked being drunk, but lots of my friends did. What IS true, is most 20somethings drink to excess.
This new tack from the #GOP to dismiss #Kavanaugh's alcoholic drinking--& I am not saying he was/is an alcoholic, but he certainly drank like one--is just wrong. It undermines their own credibility and ignores reality: statistically the vast majority of teens/20s get drunk OFTEN.
Let's talk about sex, #Kavanaugh & Venn diagram overlap of male entitlement.
I've written a lot about sex in various contexts. In the late 80s/early 90s I also gave safe sex workshops back when folks my age were dying 24/7 from #AIDS. My 1st book was on juvenile prostitution.
1/
Most of us know consensual and non-consensual sex differ. The entirety of #Kavanaugh's defense and his defenders' outrage is predicated on the presumption that no teenaged boy knows what consent is.
THEY. KNOW.
Some, like their adult counterparts, don't care.
This is key.
2/
Since #MeToo we've seen egregious serial rapists like #BillCosby and #HarveyWeinstein exposed & attempts made to prosecute them.
But there are "lesser" sexual assaults we've given a lighter hand to: Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Mark Halperin, Louis CK--too many to list.
3/