When I was... 6 or 7...? a beloved aunt and uncle came to visit. My uncle (who was kind! and lovely!) was like 7' tall and had a booming voice. Intimidating! He asked for a hug, and I was too shy. My aunt said, "You have to hug your uncle!" and my mother said, "No she doesn't."
My mother understood that assault comes most commonly from people we know and trust, and that no girl (no child! period!) should feel obligated to respond to touch she doesn't want just because it's from family. I am so, so, so grateful she did that.
I don't need a thread about how women don't report their assaults because they feel like they're partially responsible, and how that sense of obligation to trusted men starts EARRRRRRLY. Because y'all can see that WRIT LARGE in this wretched conversation we're all having.
my dad is one of the last reasons why I don't just give up on men altogether. There is so much he has learned in the last 10 years, so many ways his empathy has grown. He abandoned some deeply entrenched prejudices and stayed open to the correcting words of his wife and children
this recent post of his I shared contains fragments of a painful admission I've known about for years and that I never thought he'd confront, even a little, in public. he's almost 70 years old and as fierce about justice as I've ever seen him. sometimes fiercer than me!!
we're all spending a lot of time wondering about weird dicks today, huh
like, more than usual
today on this free nonpornographic website:
"Bert and Ernie enjoy one another's dicks"
"no they don't, they're muppets"
"oh yeah then explain Kermit and Miss Piggy"
"frogs and pigs can't mate, either"
"no but muppets can"
"trump's dick looks like a video game mushroom"
whoops I just accidentally looked at Molly Grue gifs and now I'm ruined
a friend on FB: what's everyone's favorite sci-fi/fantasy quote :)
person 1: never tell me the odds!
person 2: curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
person 3: never give up! never surrender!
me:
the further I descend into spinsterdom, the more ready I am to shout down a unicorn at any given moment
everyone in North Carolina now either is or knows someone whose life has been absolutely goddamn wrecked by this hurricane. I have friends who fled Wilmington and don't know when or how they can go back, though their house is fine and they got lucky, all things considered—
I have a friend in Charlotte whose backyard is now a lake. Friends whose homes have just finished repairs from Matthew, only to be pummelled again by Florence. etc. We all know someone now.
EVERYONE IS GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS DIFFERENTLY and I am not here to police those reactions, or give the time of day to anyone who does. Some folks will be in shock. Some will make jokes. Some will finally just decide to leave the state forever.