Thread by @dob86

So after an age of netflindecision we decided to just re-watch #GameofThrones again from the start. It’s so weird going back all them years.

Here comes a 70-odd tweet thread commenting on every episode...

#GoT #S1e1 That cold opening though.

It’s odd that you give a pass to beheading, incest and marital rape but the thing that made me think “this show is different” was Jaime casually pushing Bran out the window. Seeing Robert grieving for Lyanna was more poignant with hindsight.

#GoT #s1e2 Lots of ominous shots of dragon eggs. Robb acting brash, Cat loving her kids, Joffrey being a dick #foreshadowing

Tyrion steals the wall scenes.
I realise now why they all love direwolves - mostly for Joffrey biting.

#GoT #s1e3 S1 Jaime has great hair. Jon Snow knows nothing about scumbags. DTA anyone in King’s Landing. I miss Syrio. “She no bleed for 2 moons” is Essos version of my antenatal clinic.

#GoT #s1e4 Exposition Day! The Tarly shuffle makes a welcome appearance & Cat makes a Tyrion sized balls-up in a pub. Early Mountain is definitely not as good as later Mountain

#GoT #s1e5 Cleganebowl almost - hype was got. Roz is sassy. Love a Varys/Littlefinger catfight. Poor King just wanted his boyhood girl.

#GoT #s1e6 Bran’s descent into boring starts. Khaleesi magic unlocked. Bitty Arryn loves the moon door and I loved the confession/Bronn fight. The golden crown was the cherry on top.

#GoT #s1e7 Considering the most important thing in the series happened - Robert’s death wasn’t that dramatic. Jon Snow was whiny about being a steward.

#GoT #s1e8 Syrio lives! forgot about the hill tribes, Jon Snow is not fireproof, Hodor’s hung, Khal needs his wound closing.

#GoT #s1e9 Filch has a turn of phrase, Snow doesn’t get the rules. Don’t like Shea. Tyrion tries a good war. Even now I think Ned’s head will win.

#GoT #s1e10 Whilst everyone mopes about Ned, Dany over cooked some eggs and wakes up with 3 mushu. Jorah thinks he’s got a shot.

#GoT #s2e1 Can’t believe I waited this long to see Stannis & Mel. Jon knows nothing about Craster. Joffrey starts as he means to go on & it’s always nice to see littlefinger squirm. Also, forgot Slint killed a load of babies - he’ll get his.

#GoT #s2e2 Yoren was much cooler than I remember. “You should try her fish pie.” is an underrated line. Gilly is well cast. Pyke is already dreary. Salladhor has some good lines.

#GoT #s2e3 Bran💤. Brienne 💕 Pyke 💤 Tyrion’s triple secret play wins 📐 🧠 Margaery was so matter of fact about Renly loving her brother.

#GoT #s2e4 Dr Volantis did some good amputating. There’s no cure for Joffrey. Qarth is up its arse. The Tywin/Arya scary Harrenhal spin-off is great. Red Woman’s shadow baby freebirth was empowering.

#GoT #s2e5 Stannis’ shadow baby got back. Renly’s. Baby dragon dracarys is well cute! Brienne struggles with the gig economy. Qarth is full of poorly explained weirdos. Jaqen chills his first kill wish.

#GoT #s2e6 Theon & Finchy throw a shoe over Winterfell. Jon knows nothing about the real north, Qhorin does. Kudos to the guy who threw a turd at Joffrey. Tonks saves the Starks.

#GoT #s2e7 Ygritte virgin-shames Jon, he still knows nothing. Season 2 Mountain also sucks. Xaro Xhoan Daxos is tiresome. Sansa’s menarche is bad news. Sad jail Jaime redemption arc starts here. Theon has buyers remorse.

#GoT #s2e8 Episode to be re-titled “Everyone’s an idiot”. Theon matches Yara’s description, Jon & Robb thinking with their trousers, Cat gets a curfew, Arya wishes for 3 more wishes & Tyrion/Cersei scene is fierce. So many C-bombs.

#GoT #s2e9 Yassss wildfire! Drunk Cersei is 🔥 Poor Hound had PTSD 🔥 deus ex Tywinus

#GoT #s2e10 Marg’s “sincerity” to the King was amazing 👑 That look from Varys when Roz handles him though 👀 Maester Luwin 😢 Glad confusing Qarth is over, but Rhaego 😭 I don’t get why Sam isn’t killed by Ser Whitey North of the Wall. ⚔️

#GoT #s3e1 Jon gave Mance convincing BS. Any Tyrion/Cersei scene wins. Dragonstone is at risk of coastal erosion. Nipple pinchy in Astapor by Kraznys will be remembered. First meeting of Wildlings and Missandei.

#GoT #s3e2 Reek is born. Brienne/Jaime buddy comedy warms up. Olenna’s lemoncake 🔥 Jon knows nothing about Wildlings. The Hound/Arya buddy comedy starts here.

#GoT #s3e3 Hot Bye 🥧😕 S3 Martyn Lannister is S4 Tommen (I did not know this). Khaleesi has no time for Jorah & Barristan’s Astapor warsplaining. Pod’s prize turned out to be free. 🗡 🍆 Jaime’s redemption arc cost an arm & a leg...well an arm anyway.

#GoT #s3e4 Varys opens his rewenge box. Ramsey kills 5 of his own men to mess with Theon. Sicko. Bri gives Stumpy J a pep talk. Granddad will sort out the King. Old Bear 😢🐻 Secret Valyrian speaker makes Kraznys flambeaux.

#GoT #s3e5 I should’ve been more impressed that Beric came back to life the 1st time. Jon runs his mouth. Robb finally swings a sword like his old man at Lord Karstark. Uptight Stannis is uptight. Greyworm 💗 Tywin wins Dad of the year for arranging two weddings in one meeting.

#GoT #s3e6 Sam/Gilly, Meera/Bran/Osha & Jon/Ygritte talk in the forest. Red Priest Sunday School ends with Gendry in a cart. Jon knows nothing about crampons. Littlefinger’s “chaos is a ladder” speech juxtaposes intrigue with Joffrey murdering Roz, make it more shocking.

#GoT #s3e7 Gareth from the Office has no Wargy wall climbing guilt. Tywin throws all the shade at the King. Yunkai looks like another boring hole in the desert. Shea declines to be a side bit. Qyburn don’t need ethics approval. Jaime is braver than the average bear.

#GoT #s3e8 The guy playing Daario is distinctive, I hope he never changes....Tyrion catches feels being nice to Sansa, Cersei gets her wedding game face on. Gendry’s leeched RED raw amirite. Sam shanks a whitey.

#GoT #s3e9 Imagine the harsh casting call for “Ugly Frey daughter”

Hodor meltdown needed warging😢Once a Crow, always a Crow. Rickon departs with Osha....in a straight line

It’s the slow build that does it

*Rains of Castermere plays* 💔❌🔴🚨🤵🏻👰

#GoT #s3e10 Red Wedding comedown 😢 Tywin ain’t got no time for Joffrey. SamBran’s meeting is awks. Ramsey’s letter to Balon is 🔥. Shireen teaching Davos to read is 💓. Gendry get his sea legs. Bit of boring Mhysa at the end.

#GoT #s4e1 That Tywin sword melting cold opening though. Olivar gets all the best luck. Drogon is hangry 🐉 Does Jaime have a “stump double”? 🤚 Tormund hates Thenns. Ser Dontos is a poor, fat mess. #relatable The Hound gets a chicken dinner.

#GoT #s4e2 Bronn’s a great teacher. Reek’s a great shaver. Cersei reaches new levels of petty before the Purple Wedding comes to its airway occluding conclusion....look the pie! 🥧 💜

#GoT #s4e3 Joffrey lying in state is a joy, the ensuing sibling squabble, less so. Oberyn misses none of the worlds pleasure. Vengeful Olly is born. Some more desert slaver fighting happens in the east.

#GoT #s4e4 Greyworms Rosetta Stone English is coming along. Meereen might not be a boring desert city after all. Olenna reveals how to persuade men & implicates in regicide, Margaery meets Ser Pounce. Short haired Jaime loves Brienne. Meet up at Craster’s for Bran & mutineers.

#GoT #s4e5 Dany giving this Queen malarkey at try out in Meereen. Robin Arryn is a wet lettuce. His mum’s a screamer. Pod/Brienne buddy comedy begins. It all kicks off at Craster’s. Locke get Warg-Hodored, The legend of Karl Tanner ends, Rast gets ghosted 👻.

#GoT #s4e6 ooooOOOoo Braavos in the title sequence, Stannis makes a loan application. Yara goes reaving, finds Reek. Drogon loves BBQ goat. Mace Tyrell is the best sort of Pompous. Shea, Shea, Shea 🐍🙃

#GoT #s4e7 Pre-zombie Mountain makes giblets. D&D alignment in Meereen. What could Mel want with Shireen🤔🔥 Hot Pie saves BriennePod with sweet wolf pie for Arya. Littlefinger drops Lysa hoping for Sansa.

#GoT #s4e8 Greyworm gets caught sharking. Sansa climbs the ladder to help Littlefinger. Jorah the spy gets permabanned. Some good father/son Bolton bonding after Moat Cailin.
Ellaria
...The Mountain makes Dornish whine 🍉 💀 💥 ker...ker...ker...

#GoT #s4e9 Love single topic episodes. Giants on mammoths is a good start. Slint slinks to the kitchen. Pip goes down 1 for 1. Grenn held the gate. Olly wins Young Crow of the year, instant fan favourite. Jon has no Ygrittes.

#GoT #s4e10 Stannis arrives just in time to save Jon, for some fire related reason. Dany grounds Rhegal & Viserion but doesn’t have enough badges to train Drogon. Bran sees dead people. Brienne & Hound both lose custody of Arya. Tyrion buys Shea a choker. Tywin pulls an Elvis.

#GoT #s5e1 Young Cersei nails her acting. Maggi🐸 nails the prophecy. Tyrion has a tactical chunder. A wild Sparrow appears. Sons of Harpyzzzz. Jon knows nothing about persuasion so Stannis makes Mance dance 🔥 🏹

#GoT #s5e2 Brienne gets StarkZoned again. Jaime F Lannister starts a new buddy comedy in Dorne with Bronn on a Castle promise. Gilly knows “S”. Jon knows how to win elections. Arya’s training montage starts in earnest. Drogon breaks curfew.

#GoT #s5e3 House of ⚫️⚪️ is a confusing slow burn. Tommen quick draw. Jon knows nothing about abandoning the wall, but gets Janos his just desserts; Stannis approves. Cersei opens a sparrow sized can of worms. Tyrion still “tied up” with Shea memories.

#GoT #s5e4 Who’d have thought that even in this world religious fanatics would be killjoys and homophobes. Jon knows nothing about Mel and her ways. Stannis wins dad of the year, long may it continue. Jaime catches a sword. Sandsnakes 💤 🐍 Tyrion reads Jorah. Selmy sabotage

#GoT #s5e5 The two obedient dragons get some BBQ. Stannis corrects grammar. Sansa meets Reek & the doggos. Awkward Winterfell dinner ends with fat jokes, Roose slaps Ramsey down. Hizdahr gets lucky. Jorah gets stoned.

#GoT #s5e6 Arya works in a Braavosi undertakers. Tyrion and Jorah (Bore-ah amirite) walk up the coast & await a cockmerchant. Littlefinger & Cersei do some standard scheming. The Sands shift 💤 “Tart tongued” Olenna’s back in KL 🔥I hate Westerosi weddings😥

#GoT #s5e7 Aemon’s watch ends. Sam breaks his vows down a gillyhole. Why isn’t Tommen burning the city down for his queen? Jorah breaks the 1st rule of Meereen fight club. Cersei getting in cahoots with High Sparrow backfires.

#GoT #s5e8 Tyrion gets Jorah permabanned. Tormund shows Lord of Bones that he should have talked. Thenns aren’t endearing. Then World War Z happens at Hardholme & the Night’s King uses max revive; ol’ blue eyes saying come at me bro.

#GoT #s5e9 Olly no likie opening the gates for the wildlings. Prince Doran is too reasonable - it can’t end well for him. Stannis does the bad thing. Jorah didn’t take the hint and keeps fighting in the pits. Drogon saves the day.

#GoT #s5e10 Sam gets into Med School. Stubborn Stannis loses. Miranda then Reek & Sansa take a tumble. Arya plays a blinder on NonceTrant. Myrcella’s runny nose 😥 Drogon got meat sweats. Cersei’s walk of shame leads to zombie mountain. Jon knows nothing about traitors.

#GoT #s6e1 Sad Ghost is sad. You wonder what Ramsey would do with dead Miranda. Good job for Theon & Sansa that Brienne craves validation so much. Queen C is 2 for 3 (Maggi 🐸) The Martell’s get Sandblasted. Dany’s boats burn whilst she’s off to widow shelf. Mel shows her age👵

#GoT #s6e2 Bran’s raven training not missed in S5. WunWun smash. ZombieMountain wee’d on. Doesn’t take it well....smash. Sparrow is showing off to Jaime. Tommen’s a mummy’s boy. Tyrion knows things. Ramsey gets closure on daddy issues. Euron, Euroff Balon. Oh and Jon’s alive.

#GoT #s6e3 Yer da jus resurrected & Tormund makes a knob joke. Sam is father to a Crastard. Young Ned nails the accent. 🎶 Blind Arya Training montage music🎶 A wild Rickon appears. New ruthless Jon finally knows something. How to hang an Olly.

#GoT #s6e4 the shipping of Briemund begins. Littlefinger distracts Robin with a bird. Tyrion thinks he can deal with slavers. Osha tried to play Ramsey. Loses. Khaleesi makes hot Khal Kalash in the temple of Dosh Khaleen.

#GoT #s6e5 Sansa needs to get on with killing Littlefinger, Arya needs to get on doing the same to the Waif. The play within a play was the old play! Who comes to ruin the Kingsmoot and sibling love in? You’re on, Euron. Bran ruins everything & time warped Hodor holds the door🚪

#GoT #s6e6 Convenient ZombieBenjen saves Meera. Tarly’s seem nice, not the fat shaming Dad. Nowt as zealous as a convert, Tommen. Dany earns volcano badge and rides Drogon.

#GoT #s6e7 That houndy cold opening though. The Bronn/Jaime buddy comedy enters the Frey at Riverrun #Backhand👏 Lyanna Mormont win this episode but Lord Darling says no to the Stark/Snow tour of the North.

#GoT #s6e8 Hound sorts out the amateur kissers & gets new shoes. Cersei chooses violence (but no trial by combat). The Bronn/Jaime & Pod/Brienne buddy comedies converge. Blackfish says no - loses as Edmure trumps him. I’d drink Imps delight. Arya puts the Waif’s candle out.

#GoT #s6e9 🐉 🐉 🐉 👱🏻‍♀️ go to Meereen and clean house. Sansa throws shade & Davos takes a long walk. Yara & Dany flirt & do an awkward handshake. Rickon doesn’t zigzag. The Vale *finally* do something. WunWun opens the door. Ramsey’s one with the doggos. Stark banner YASS!

#GoT #s6e10 Pycelle does holy, then Cersei’s awesome wildfire music kicks in. 💚BaelorBoom 🔥 . Poor Tommen walks. Sam is every 1st year med student. Daario gets MeereenZoned. Arya makes Frey Bentos. Bran ravens into Aunt Lyanna’s PPH. Jon knows nothing about being king.

#GoT #s7e1 That Arya FreyFace cold opening though. ZombieGiants?! Sansa tells Jon that he knows nothing about ruling the North. Euron has 1000 ships and 2 good hands. Sam has a turd training montage. Sheeran gimmick aged badly. Hound says “top knot” & has a vision. Dany’s home.

#GoT #s7e2 Dany so paranoid about Varys, she smoking? Greyworm succumbs to his “weakness” - gets Ubereats. Sam does Jorah’s GreyScalectomy as CEPOD2...look a pie🥧! A hot pie. Jon chokes Littlefinger just like Ned...Euron a boat - 2 x 🐍. Theon takes a swim.

#GoT #s7e3 Thirsty Davos gets a DRAGON SURPRISE on his way to Dany, about whom Jon knows nothing. Euron’s gift is his niece some sand and a PR exam. Queen’s ironic poison is 💀. 🤖 Raven Bran weirds out Sansa. Jorah is discharged post op. Olenna did it.

#GoT #s7e4 I like the Iron Bank Manager. Emo Bran reads Littlefinger and drops Meera like a stone:- “Thank you.” Arya shows up Winterfell’s rubbish guards. Jon knows something about cave paintings. Only a Jaime takes on the Dothraki in open battle.

#GoT #s7e5 Drogon puts his Dickon the floor. Jon knows nothing about dragon touching. Jorah’s back from the GreyZone. Davos makes a “Gendry rowing” joke smh. Cersei gets 2 lines on clear blue. Sam ragequits med school. Ends with the Fellowship of the Wall.

#GoT #s7e6 Tormund’s great comic relief. ZombieBear makes Thoros of Mir not Myr, amirite? I’d moan about how unrealistic Gendry runs all that way to send a raven but then I realise that a Dragon then gets turned into a javelin Zombie. Deus ex Benjen #Viserion in #MiracleOnIce2

#GoT #s7e7 🚨 Bumper double tweet overview 🚨 Hound & Brienne are proud of Arya. Bronn leaves Dragon our before Cersei arrives. Anyone would think they dated irl and can’t be on screen together. So close to #Cleganebowl #gethype. Everyone meets Zomboy, Euron your own Lannisters.

#GoT #s7e7 #finale 2/2 Jon knows nothing about lying. Theon figuratively grows a pair. Arya finally shuts Littlefinger up. R+L=J confirmed, Jon celebrates with Aunt Dany whilst Tyrion eavesdrops. Blue zombie dragon says “tear down this wall!”

Well, that was more effort and less funny than I thought it would be. Testament to the show that I couldn’t fit nearly enough in. Took a week a series. See you in 2019 and I’ll do it again in real time. 💤 Guess I better study more.

Unroll please @threadreaderapp