Arena Flowers Profile picture
Aug 8, 2018 8 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
When you're having breakfast then suddenly remember that life is essentially meaningless. #InternationalCatDay
1962: The cat is invented. Originally intended for military use, the furry walking machine becomes an unexpected hit with bored families. #InternationalCatDay
Cats account for over 30% of the population, but contribute 0% to the economy. Tomorrow, give your cat a briefcase: SEND THE CAT TO WORK. #InternationalCatDay
That was a hell of an excuse Schrödinger came up with just to get away with murdering his cat.
In Spain, Christmas is known as “Los Terrores Del Sol” and is celebrated by catapulting cats into the Sun. #InternationalCatDay
CAT FACT: Cats feel no pity. No shame. No remorse. They will not stop until we are crushed beneath their vast padded paws. We must flee.
CAT FACT: All cats secretly hate you.
I thought I just discovered a new type of animal, but it was just two cats walking close to each other.

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More from @ArenaFlowers

Oct 14, 2017
Due to the recent rise in followers, I’m having to report to the Social Media and Cake Committee. It’s always a depressing experience.
The Committee is formed of Old Man Grimes, Social Media Simon, Cigarette Man and Cake Beryl.
Old Man Grimes is perpetually stuck in the late 1930s and as such knows very little about social media. He is only dimly aware of colour TV.
Read 19 tweets
Oct 13, 2017
The year was 1998. Her hair was like silk in my hands. Her lips were tender, sensual. Our hands fitted together like two mink doves.
We walked the streets in Nice in the moonlight, strolling past cafés and yachts and laughing couples. We were very much in love.
We found ourselves on the beach, looking out across the sea. Her head was resting on my shoulder. I’d never known such peace.
Read 15 tweets

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