I remember hitting that bittersweet spot where the food/rent assistance stopped and I was set back for "doing better".
But thankfully, I had made the huge sacrifices to go to college so things got better quickly cracked.com/blog/the-4-typ…
However, if not for section 8 housing, I would never have been able to get out of poverty. One year while I was in college, I supported my daughter on 7k for the whole year. When I get my social security report occasionally, I look at that year and my mind is blown.
I never needed #TANF but #SNAP saved us every month. It was hard. I donated plasma to buy diapers. Or rather, I went in twice weekly and let them stick me 10+ times before telling me to drink more and come back in a couple days, they could never get my veins.
Once I hid my car in a field so it wouldn't get repossessed. I rode my bike with the trailer to drop my daughter off at daycare and to go to school and work.
Once I had to cook using the camping stove because, electricity. #salvationarmy turned it back on & I have tears in my eyes even now thinking about it. Please donate to those red kettles during the Holidays. You will be saving someone from the horrors of #poverty.
I used to stand in my shower and write the figures of how easy it would be to pay the bills with 40k/year in the steam. It was an unimaginable sum to me.
And then, I graduated, got a job as an RN. When you make more money, your bills quietly go up. The struggle continued. Student loans become due, no more food stamps or housing assistance. But it feels good to be struggling on your own. Things slowly get better.
If not for public assistance, I would still be struggling and to be honest, I recently had a financial scare that brought all those memories flooding back, except back then, I had nothing to lose. The idea of losing what I now have was terrifying.
I took a deep breath & knew that if I had gotten out of poverty once, I could do it again. But I was wiser & super lucky & we're fine. Please don't ever judge someone for needing #assistance you don't know what they're doing to fix it or what barriers stand in the way.
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Why I believe in a personal, real God, and why I believe he/she/they love me: too many times in my life, things have worked out for me way better than they should have.
I don't understand why me, when so many suffer, but I sincerely believe I'm #blessed
Today was another crazy thing that just worked out. I'm going through a rough time and through complete irresponsibility and poor planning, I ended up $310 in the hole in my checking account. Last night I drove to work wondering if I would make it there, I was so low on gas.
Last pay period, I had been sick and my kids had been sick and I missed work. My paycheck was going to be unusually small, so I had bills to pay and I didn't know how I was going to pay them. I went to work knowing my paycheck would be direct deposited at midnight and
My suicide plan was to steal a bunch of narcotics and anti-emetics, go to the beach, and swim out into the Gulf until either the drugs overtook me or I became exhausted and drowned. Then if I was "rescued" they wouldn't realize I was dying from overdose until its too late #SeaTac
I no longer work at a job where stealing a lethal amount of narcotics would be easy and I don't want to die, but sometimes I stand on the beach and wonder if it would have been the drugs or the water that would have taken me.
I was in a bad place and no one knew. I couldn't ask for help, I didn't know how. People helped me, they just didn't know it. A kind smile, a generous moment of understanding, that gave me hope that maybe there was something to live for.
Thread: When you read about my experiences as an evangelical and you say "I grew up in an Evangelical church and I never saw that" I have to say, "Yes you did" You weren't in the center of it, but if you went to a missions conference and saw a missionary kid up on stage singing,
That was me. You saw us. You saw people who were weirdly devout like us. You probably knew/know a family that homeschools to avoid the world's influence. It's not benign. Maybe you weren't that deep in it, but you saw it.
I know because I saw you. I envied you; you had some measure of peace I couldn't get. You got to live in the same house & go to real school, but you knew about me, and your parents didn't condemn mine even though they saw it too.