E. James White Profile picture
Aug 25, 2018 14 tweets 5 min read Read on X
So I’ve come to the conclusion that becoming a Daddy is like when X-Men start developing their mutant powers.

At first you can’t control your powers and it’s sporadic and doesn’t kick in when you want it. But the more you practice the better control you get. #DGProper
I’ve been battling my arch nemesis, Sidneto, & I’ve taken some L’s. But my Daddy powers are getting stronger. I’m starting to be able to control them. There’s moments when I’m doing the Dad stuff I’ve seen or heard others do but I didn’t know how they did it. #DGProper
Prime Example:

This morning my wife goes to get the brat up. As I’ve said before, she’s preggers & can’t just snatch the child up for a timeout. She also can’t make her do something. She’s too big and my wife is too pregnant. So the brat tries it w/ her.

ENTER DADDY. #DGProper
So I’m in bed but I hear Sidneto powering up. I’m hearing more cries and screams. I’m hearing “NO!” being yelled and a calm adult trying to reason. I get up and knock on the kid’s door because the wife and I have a rule. We don’t parent over each other. #DGProper
If she’s dealing with the kid I don’t just jump in. Same for her. We knock, ask if you need backup and go from there.

So I knock. The wife gives me permission to come in. Sidneto is screaming and I walk in and don’t say a word. I just hit her with the...
Sidneto:
Her eyes went wide and she just went quiet. And my wife just started snitching on her.

“She doesn’t want to get dress and she ripped her book and isn’t being reasonable.”

Sidneto:
All of a sudden she was like “I GET DRESSED. I GET DRESSED. Mommy! I get dressed!”

Me: “Too late. Honey I’ll take it from here.” I felt all the power from Daddies before me filling my body with “the power of de black dad-dee.”

She tried a swing. Was immediately snatched.
After 1 timeout that child quietly got dressed and went to her mother and apologized. Then she went downstairs and had breakfast while I did her hair with zero pushback.

I’M BECOMING THAT DADDY. Complete with dad voice and dad glare. And I can control it.

DAD POWERS ACTIVATE.
In comics there’s some event that forces the mutant’s powers to kick in. Some moment of stress or trouble. My wife’s pregnancy is doing it for me. She’s just tired with the whole cooking of a human and all. And we can’t have a monster and a newborn. So my powers are activating.
I’ve been wondering how the daddy glare aka “The Look” works for A WHILE. I’ve seen parents do it and just wished I understood it. #DGProper
But little did I know you have to train. You have to practice before the powers kick in.

But with great power comes great responsibility. A lesson I learned a little later in the morning. #DGProper
I was explaining to the MiL how to handle Sidneto if she’s acting up.

“Don’t threaten. Tell her the consequence for her action, count, then implement consequence. Say ‘Siddy, stop or else. One, ...”

Sid was playing w/ toys. She heard me say “One”

She freezes & looks at me.
My MiL and I both burst into laughter and I had to go hug my child and tell her “I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything. Daddy wasn’t counting at you.”

THE DADDY POWERS. THEY’RE REAL. AND THEY’RE SPECTACULAR. #DGProper

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More from @elonjames

Sep 24, 2018
This whole “If we listen to sexual assault allegations from women then every man will be brought down” is based on how men are socialized. While we all say “rape is wrong”, we also say “boys WILL be boys” & “she was asking for it. Look how’s she’s dressed. Why was she so drunk?”
This fucked up logic is baked into dudes from really a young age. I was raised by a feminist and I still heard statements like “She was asking for it.” She couldn’t shield me, no matter how hard she tried, from how society looks at women and what is “owed” to men.
All the dudes who think every man is on the chopping block if we listen to assault allegations from the past are basing this on the ridiculous idea that women are dishonest liars who want to destroy men. That women are more dangerous to men than we are to them.
Read 6 tweets
Sep 18, 2018
Yes. Yes it should.

Sexual assault isn't like wearing bell bottoms or getting a bad haircut or using problematic language.

ITS. A. FUCKING. LIFE ALTERING. CRIME. YOU DICK HOLES.
If I'm raping women in my late teens (and I say women cuz we don't know what dude could've done. It's not like we know he hit his rape quota) and I never admit it. I never take responsibility for it...

Why the FUCK should I be allowed to sit on the highest court of the land?
The only way you can argue that we should ignore such a heinous crime is if you're trying to protect yourself or others who have committed similarly heinous acts. Rape isn't part of all of our coming of age stories. I snuck out to the arcade at 17.

I didn't assault women.
Read 4 tweets
Sep 2, 2018
My child, who is in full fledge boundary testing mode, just told me that her name is NOT Siddy.

It’s Sidney Baby Girl.

Okay buddy. #DGProper
I almost asked her “But who calls you baby girl?” But the last I hit her with a logic bomb that she couldn’t handle she screamed for 10 minutes. #DGProper
I realized that acting as the enforcer of rules/discipline may be neccessary for the brat but it aggravates my ADD. My brain does not enjoy keeping rules and lists and when forced to do so I can get cranky. So I have to maintain a calm while being really frustrated. #addcheckin
Read 4 tweets
Aug 31, 2018
So yesterday I posted a pic of a 3d picture of my son in the womb. I look at the post today and see some one posted this in response... #DGProper
That pissed me all the way off. How do you write on a post where someone ALREADY did something that we’re not sure if it’s safe. It’s INVITING you to get freaked out. Mind you, the concern is over vanity ultrasounds that aren’t medically neccessary. This was not that. #DGProper
And if the person had asked I would’ve gladly told them it was specifically requested by the doctor. And there wasn’t extra time involved. It was a basic sonogram and They COULD show the 3d picture.

Why post scare comments to expecting parents? #DGProper
Read 6 tweets
Aug 30, 2018
“In a letter to House and Senate leaders, Trump described the pay increase as "inappropriate."

"We must maintain efforts to put our Nation on a fiscally sustainable course, and Federal agency budgets cannot sustain such increases," the President wrote.” cnn.com/2018/08/30/pol…
Read 8 tweets
Aug 30, 2018
When I told folks last year that I had a nemises list I was mocked!

NOW ITS WHATS HOT IN THE STREETS.
Everyone is in fact on my list but my top 10-20 doesn’t move often. You can temporarily make it to my top list but to stay you have to be a real douche bag.
Read 4 tweets

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