Thread by @UchennaNG

There was a time when it was a big sin for a girl to put on a pair of trousers/pants..

Remember?

Good old days..

One Saturday Bisola visited after 'church', I stepped out to welcome her & realised she was wearing a pair of brown pants!

And my mom was home!

KANA!😭

Thread!!

"Uchenna! Who is at the door?!" My mom screamed from her room, "My friend!" I replied as I opened the door net & smiled at Bisola.

"Hi Bisola" I said as I walked out to give her a hug, deep down I was praying to God that my mum didn't come out.

"She can't see her like this o!"

"Lets walk" I said to Bisola as we stepped out of the gate, I thought of my next move & quickly remembered my friend 'Victor'

"I'll take her there" I thought to myself as I moved, Victor was a neighbourhood friend who also attended my church

"Hope you don't mind taking a walk?"

She agreed to walk with me so I closed the gate behind & led the way, we talked as we walked to Victor's house which was about 10 minutes away.

"She looks so good in this outfit" I thought as I watched her talk, "how is wearing trouser a sin now?" I thought again.

"Nawa o"

We soon got to Victor's house & entered, Victor was practically my 'brother' at the time & I enter without knocking;

Immediately we walked through the kitchen to the living room I saw Victor walking out of his bathroom with just towel on!

"Victor how far?"

"I dey"

"Hi Bisola"

I wanted to make a formal introduction but I remembered we all attended the same church, "You guys already know each other" I said as I suddenly felt vibration in my pocket;

I dipped my hands into my pocket, brought out the phone & it was my mom's phone

"Damn she must need it!"

"This is my mom's phone" I said facing Bisola, "could you chill with Victor till I go & come back?" I asked & she agreed

"No wahala, you can go" Victor said, "Its fine, I'll wait here for you" Bisola added!

I waved at them both as I turned back & exited the house!

I got to the gate & as I opened it I saw Victor's parents driving in, I wanted to go say hello to them but I remembered my mom needed to be in church; and that was why she was calling for her phone which I'd borrowed to call my girlfriend

I decided to wave at them & jugg home..

I got home & saw my mom standing by the gate, "are you with my phone?" She asked when I came closer;

I just handed her the phone & turned back, "there's nobody at home o!" She said as she walked towards the other end of the street, "nobody at home? How did she call?" I thought..

"Oloriburuku!" A feminine voice suddenly yelled & I regained consciousness, she had insulted me from a 'keke napep' that had passed through my street;

I was in the middle of the road & they'd managed to avoid hitting me

"Hmn"

The keke soon got to where my mom was & she entered

I decided to forget about thinking & just walk back to Victor's house..

"let me spend some time with Bisola before she goes"

"Thank God mumsy didn't see her with trousers"

"Should I bring her home?"

..I kept thinking against my initial decree till I heard someone call my name

"This face looks familiar" I thought to myself when I turned, "Uchenna!" He said out loud - "this one sabi me reach village" I concluded

I walked closer to this familiar guy who was standing by a car, the back plate number was covered with an "L" sign so I assumed he was my mate

Lo & behold it was 'Nnamdi'; my seat partner back in primary school, "u haven't changed one bit!" I shouted when I sure it was him

"You too! I recognised u from far" he replied as we got talking, he then told me he had car troubles

"I'm a learner" he said

"I can see" I replied

He asked if I could help him, I was turned between helping my old friend & catching up with my future possible girlfriend Bisola;

"Bro before hoes" I heard Progress's spirit whisper to me, "yea sure" I said out loud as I grabbed his keys & went straight to open the ignition!

I kicked the car & it came on immediately! "Oh it came on?!" Nnamdi exclaimed out of excitement, "can you help me drive it home?" He added

"Drive it home?!" I reacted, he begged me to help drive it to his cousin's house which was just down the next right bend

"What's all this?"

"Bros over hoes" I heard Progress's spirit whisper again, I wanted to warn that spirit but I realised it was right;

"No problem, let's go" I said with tears in my heart but joy in my face, "Ah Thank you very much Uche" he said!

He came in, banged the door & I drove with sorrow.

I'd barely driven 10 metres when some kids were chasing themselves through a street, it was so sudden that before I hit the brakes of the car I already slightly brushed the oldest of the kids with the bumper of Nnamdi's 'Toyota Starlet!

"Yaay! Idi mi o!"(My ass) This boy wailed!

We rushed out of the car after I'd done an emergency by the roadside, luckily there weren't a lot of passers bye so we formed a cluster like a semi-cricle around the boy who was sitting on the floor & holding his ass expressing pains

"Mummy motor have kill David!" One boy yelled

"Motor have not kill me o!" this injured boy responded, "it's just my nyash and my leg!" He added

"Lets take you to a clinic!" Nnamdi said immediately we stood by David, as we tried to raise him up we heard this loud female voice from behind;

"You people want to kill my son?!"

"Mummy I'm fine" David responded, "it was just a slight brushing ma, we'll take him to that Clinic there for urgent medical attention" Nnamdi added

"This one is too much grammar o" I thought to myself, "oya take him let's go" David's mom agreed & we took David to a nearby clinic

We got to the clinic & the nurse on evening shift attended to us, "this hospital looks familiar" Nnamdi said as he looked at me - "I think my girlfriend brought me here once" he added

I smiled & kept mute; Nnamdi was a good friend of mine but meeting him that day was bad luck!

David was soon discharged as his accident was very minor, we all left the clinic & I began to hurry down to Victor's.

My phone was stolen some weeks back & I used my mom's phone to contact a few close friends;

"I hope Bisola hasn't gone" I thought

I kept jugging..

I got to Victor's house when the sun was set, I walked into the compound & met absolute silence.

I knocked on the door; no response, I decided to turn round to go knock on Victor's bedroom window

I got to the window & heard moans & sounds, I peeped & saw Victor & Bisola kissing

I quietly turned back & decided to go back home with my heartbreak, I saw more foot-wears by the door & assumed Victor's parents were home;

I walk towards the gate & didn't see any car, I went home feeling so much pain;

"How could Victor so this?"

"I trusted him!"

"Lord why?"

My mind went wild, started to explore all possibilities in a bid to connect dots;

"Maybe Progress was right, Pat had been acting strange since I brought her to Victor's birthday party recently" I started to think

"She must be cheating with Victor, no wonder she barely calls me"

I got home late that night & went in through the front door, immediately I got in I saw Princess mg cousin watching cartoon;

"Na only cartoon this one sabi, just pray you never get heartbroken" I murmured as I walked past her, she then noticed me & told me my mom asked of me!

As I made a move to go into my room I heard my mom scream my name!

"You are sneaking into the house okwaya?!"

"Come here?!"

I knew I was in serious trouble for my mom to yell in that manner, Oritse Femi's "Double wahala" started to ring in my head as I walked towards her room!

"Who is Pat?!" My mom yelled as she opened the door to her room & walked towards me, "she's my friend" I responded!

"Oh she's your friend?! So you've been having sex with your friend?!" She said as she raised her phone to my face & I read a text from Pat;

"Call me,I'm pregnant"

"There must be a mix up somewhere" I stuttered, "there better be a mix up because if it's true!" She replied!

My heartbeat increased, I could feel my body go cold & every ounce of "hard guy" in me went on exile.

"I have to go to bed for church tomorrow, this better be a joke!"

Fast forward..

The next morning at church was awkward, I was scheduled to play the drums when the choir would sing so I sat with the choristers.

The activities of the day at church wasn't my concern, I just waited till it was my turn to play so that I could "do and be going"..

We soon finished church service & I felt relieved, I thought to run home through the back door to avoid being seen by Bisola or Victor

"I need to head straight to Patricia's house, I demand an explanation!"

As I walked through the back door I suddenly bumped into my friend KK!

"Bisola dun dey find you since!" He said as soon as he saw me, "Why is she looking for me?" I thought

"I think say na Victor she want" I said to KK as I adjusted my trousers, "forget Victor, you like her?" KK asked

"You no go understand" I said to KK

"Na you no go understand!"

I told him to forget about Bisola, "where's Victor?" I asked KK & he paused;

"No be you & Victor dey discuss just now for outside?" KK replied;

"Me? How?"

He told me he saw Victor standing by a car & talking to Pat, I think say you been dey there;

"Me? Victor? Pat? Where? "

He wanted to utter a word but I already dashed off to go see Victor, I needed to ask him why he was ruining my life & relationship with girls..

I held my bible & hurried through the back gate of the church, immediately I stepped out I saw Victor & Pat entering a car & drive off!

"So its true!" I cried, "Pat is cheating with Victor, now he has taken Bisola too!" I grumbled silently - I couldn't let other church members see me cry so I dried my tears of sorrows.

I finished drying hot tears from my face & as I made a move to turn someone tapped me

"Uche!"

Bisola!!

"I've been calling you for a while now" she said & I told her to forgive my absent mind, "I didn't see you again yesterday?" She asked & I paused

"How would you see me when you were teeth to teeth with Victor?"

"Oh the kiss?"

"No, the Mekwe"

"That was just a game!"

She explained that they'd started playing truth or dare when some other boys joined & she was dared to kiss Victor, "KK was there" she added

"But I saw KK now & he told me nothing of such"

"I swear you have to believe me"

I tried to say a word when I suddenly saw KK coming out

"KK tell Uche about the truth or dare" Bisola said to KK who immediately corroborated her claims, I stood for a while ^ started to ponder what was really going on.

"I really wanted to see you, if you're free I could come this evening"

"Ok"

..I still wondered about pat & Victor

I excused myself & decided to go after "Pat's car" with an 'Okada', I had kept track of the turning they made & luckily it was the street with the worst road.

I left the church Premises, crossed the road & got an Okada almost immediately & soon began to tail "Pat's Car".

10 minutes into the ride I started to search for "Pat's car" because I'd lost it, "where did they turn to?" I pondered. We rode further more & I asked the rider to stop.

I paid him & started to calculate possible turns, I looked down the road & saw a bend - I instinctively went!

I walked through that bend & realised I was in a familiar street, I looked to my right & suddenly saw the clinic Nnamdi & I had rushed David to the previous day!

I looked further into the compound & saw "Pat's car" inside, "they're here" I thought as I majestically walked inside

As I closed the gate behind me to look back I saw Pat and Victor standing,

"So it's true?!" I yelled!

"What is that?" Victor replied

I told them Progress had told me about Pat's bad ways with my friends, "now It's confirmed!" I added & there was an immediate awkward silence..

"So its true?" I said to Pat as I walked closer, at the time a nurse had tried to walk towards our mini gathering but she walked back in when she observed that there was an awkward silence

"Is that the test result?" I asked Pat as I took the paper from her to peep;

..Positive!+

"So you're pregnant for Victor after saying No Mekwe in our relationship?!" I wailed, "I'm not responsible for the pregnancy!" Replied!

"But wait, so you guys weren't ehm?"

"Yes!"

"It's a lie"

"She suggested & I accepted"

Victor turned to Pat & she confirmed it;

"It's true"

We stood outside the clinic with our arms folded round out chest, Pat had her 2 hands on her head while some crispy tears rolled down her cheeks.

"So if it's neither of us who is responsible?" I asked, "Nnamdi!" Pat replied as she began to cry!😭

"Don't tell me it's my Nnamdi!"

"Wait, your guy give your babe belle?" Victor asked as he switched to his official troll language, I wanted to tell him to calm down when Pat's phone started to ring

"Where are you?" Pat said as she picked her call, "okay come to the gate" she added as she hung up

"Who's that?"

Pat walked towards the gate still in her weeping mood, "Nnamdi you've finished me!" Pat said as she stepped out of the gate

"I hope is not Nnamdi Nnamdi" I began to wonder as I followed suit, I got to to the gate& the first thing I saw was a Toyota Starlet!

"Broda Nnamdi O!!"

As I stepped out of the gate properly & I saw that it was a different Toyota starlet and a different Nnamdi, "I calmed down a bit, looked up properly and saw that the person standing there was Progress!

"Uchman the Hitman!!" He screamed, "April fool!!" They all screamed!

What?!

"Wait!"

"All this was a joke?!" I reacted after realising that it was "April 1st", "nah, it's also my birthday" Pat said.

Progress then walked up to me & handed me my phone, "I thought this phone was stolen?!" I screamed when I saw my phone again..

"Your phone was helpful"

I wanted to apologise for not remembering her birthday & she said it was all her fault, Victor explained how he & Progress met on his birthday & they agreed to plan hers!

"We thought of games, pranks & party" Progress said

"We've achieved 2, let's head to my place for the 3rd!"

We all got into Progress's car & I started to narrate my ordeal with "Nammdi", I told them he has the same car too & they laughed

"This is one of our babies" Progress said as he started the car & drove off, I asked Pat why he referred to Progress as Nnamdi

"Help me ask am ooo!"

I also asked her why she went that message to my mother saying she was Pregnant, "na me send am" Progress replied & started to laugh

"Guy no be laughing matter, you almost put me for trouble!" I said, he then told me that he already sent a message to my mom saying it was a prank

We all went to Pat's house to celebrate her birthday with her, they had organised a lot without informing me

I asked her why she went through all the stress to surprise me on her own birthday party, "nothing, I just love you I guess" she replied.

It was a great party in the end

During the party Pat dragged me tos corner and whispered to my ears; "tonight is the special night", I asked her what she meant & she dragged me to a room behind the building.

In less than 5 minutes I got the message; we went in, settled in and of course..

Mekwe!!

I forgot about Bisola and focused on Pat hence..

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

THE END!! 😁

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