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E. James White Profile picture
@elonjames
Sep 8, 2018 • 3 tweets • 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
My kid just made her stage debut by crashing my wife’s set when she was performing. Mark this day as the beginning... #DGProper instagram.com/p/Bne4zsXnZ4y/…
I thought that my kid crashing her mama’s set would satisfy her. But when I hit the mic...well, yeah. That wasn’t happening. My worlds have collided. #DGProper
When I started standup if you would’ve told me I’d soon meet my wife at an open mic and that 13 yrs later OUR kid would be on stage with me I’d have called you an insane liar.

Life comes at you fast. #DGProper

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More from @elonjames

E. James White Profile picture
Sep 24, 2018
This whole “If we listen to sexual assault allegations from women then every man will be brought down” is based on how men are socialized. While we all say “rape is wrong”, we also say “boys WILL be boys” & “she was asking for it. Look how’s she’s dressed. Why was she so drunk?”
This fucked up logic is baked into dudes from really a young age. I was raised by a feminist and I still heard statements like “She was asking for it.” She couldn’t shield me, no matter how hard she tried, from how society looks at women and what is “owed” to men.
All the dudes who think every man is on the chopping block if we listen to assault allegations from the past are basing this on the ridiculous idea that women are dishonest liars who want to destroy men. That women are more dangerous to men than we are to them.
Read 6 tweets
E. James White Profile picture
Sep 18, 2018
Yes. Yes it should.

Sexual assault isn't like wearing bell bottoms or getting a bad haircut or using problematic language.

ITS. A. FUCKING. LIFE ALTERING. CRIME. YOU DICK HOLES.
If I'm raping women in my late teens (and I say women cuz we don't know what dude could've done. It's not like we know he hit his rape quota) and I never admit it. I never take responsibility for it...

Why the FUCK should I be allowed to sit on the highest court of the land?
The only way you can argue that we should ignore such a heinous crime is if you're trying to protect yourself or others who have committed similarly heinous acts. Rape isn't part of all of our coming of age stories. I snuck out to the arcade at 17.

I didn't assault women.
Read 4 tweets
E. James White Profile picture
Sep 2, 2018
My child, who is in full fledge boundary testing mode, just told me that her name is NOT Siddy.

It’s Sidney Baby Girl.

Okay buddy. #DGProper
I almost asked her “But who calls you baby girl?” But the last I hit her with a logic bomb that she couldn’t handle she screamed for 10 minutes. #DGProper
I realized that acting as the enforcer of rules/discipline may be neccessary for the brat but it aggravates my ADD. My brain does not enjoy keeping rules and lists and when forced to do so I can get cranky. So I have to maintain a calm while being really frustrated. #addcheckin
Read 4 tweets
E. James White Profile picture
Aug 31, 2018
So yesterday I posted a pic of a 3d picture of my son in the womb. I look at the post today and see some one posted this in response... #DGProper
That pissed me all the way off. How do you write on a post where someone ALREADY did something that we’re not sure if it’s safe. It’s INVITING you to get freaked out. Mind you, the concern is over vanity ultrasounds that aren’t medically neccessary. This was not that. #DGProper
And if the person had asked I would’ve gladly told them it was specifically requested by the doctor. And there wasn’t extra time involved. It was a basic sonogram and They COULD show the 3d picture.

Why post scare comments to expecting parents? #DGProper
Read 6 tweets
E. James White Profile picture
Aug 30, 2018
“In a letter to House and Senate leaders, Trump described the pay increase as "inappropriate."

"We must maintain efforts to put our Nation on a fiscally sustainable course, and Federal agency budgets cannot sustain such increases," the President wrote.” cnn.com/2018/08/30/pol…
Read 8 tweets
E. James White Profile picture
Aug 30, 2018
When I told folks last year that I had a nemises list I was mocked!

NOW ITS WHATS HOT IN THE STREETS.
See. I EVEN HAVE A RANKING SYSTEM.
Everyone is in fact on my list but my top 10-20 doesn’t move often. You can temporarily make it to my top list but to stay you have to be a real douche bag.
Read 4 tweets

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