✨ Michea B ✨ Profile picture
Sep 10, 2018 20 tweets 4 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Dear parents of trans kids,
To those of you who are struggling to understand what is going on, who feel that you've received the news that your child is trans like it came out of left field, to those of you who are searching for answers, I want to give you some advice. 1/19
You may feel like your kid has just sprung this on you out of nowhere, you may feel upset or hurt because they're saying (in your eyes) that they are not the child you have been raising. 2/19
You may be asking what you've done wrong or what you've done to deserve a trans child. You may be feeling embarrassed because your own child is now telling you that you've been referring to them in the wrong way for however long it's taken for them to come out. 3/19
If your child has come out to you at a young (pre-puberty) age you may find yourself questioning if they even understand what gender is. 4/19
If they come out during puberty you may wind up wondering if it's just the stress of puberty and social stigmas that are causing them to feel this way. 5/19
If your child is one like myself who came out much later (I came out at 32 even though I'd figured it out before I was 10), you may find yourself wondering why they waited so long if they actually are transgender. 6/19
I want you to know that all of these feelings and questions are completely valid! Please don't think that because you're confused or uncertain as to what's going on that you're a bad person. Your feelings and emotions are valid!

But I need you to know something important. 7 /19
Your child coming out to you is a sign of trust. They have made the decision to tell you something they have discovered about themselves and realized over time to be true for who they are. 8/19
It is highly likely that they've figured themselves out a while back but have wanted to make sure it would be safe to tell you the truth about who they are. They believe that your love for them as your child will be unconditional regardless of their gender. 9/19
They are coming to you from a place of extreme vulnerability, as they are laying bare who they are before you and hoping with all their heart that you will still accept them. 10/19
While it might be a shock to you, or you might have previous ideas about what it means to be trans in your head that you struggle with, when your child comes out to you...it's not about you. It is about showing your child that you love them no matter what. 11
Yes, you will struggle with it. Your child is also struggling to deal with the world around them and what they are constantly being shown/told by media and groups that try to label them as horrible things.

The key is that you have your child's back in their struggle. 12/19
If you feel that you just can't deal with it, or that it's "wrong" then that is on you to deal with. Do not force your views on a child who has come to you in confidence. If you need help dealing with overcoming previous views or ideas, I am willing to help offer resources. 13/19
If you feel you just cannot support your child in their transition, then what you are doing is showing your child that your love is only for them so long as they conform to what YOU want. Their transition and being who they are isn't about you & you need to remember that. 14/19
Even if it's as little as using their chosen name, or the two of you coming up with a nickname that you can use while you adjust, they will appreciate the attempt and realize that even though you're struggling, your love for them is more powerful. 15/19
No one is expecting you to be full on gung ho and super excited about your child coming out to you. All anyone wants from you, as the parent of a trans child, is to love them regardless of their gender. 16/19
If you are interested in resources or finding local support groups for trans kids/youth and their families, I'll be glad to send you what I have found during my research. I can also recommend several good books for all ages. 17/19
I want you to know that you're not alone in your confusion/stress/struggles.

But I want you above all to remember that your child is looking to you for support, no matter how small you might feel that support is, and they need to know that no matter what, you love them. 18/19
Please don't buy into the anti-trans bigotry and pseudocience of #ROGD, especially if your child comes out as a trans boy/man.

Please, listen to your children when they come out to you.

But above all, please show your child that your love is unconditional.
@threadreaderapp can you unroll this please?

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with ✨ Michea B ✨

✨ Michea B ✨ Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @TheMicheaB

Oct 8, 2018
It greets you with a friendly smile and welcomes you inside.
It shows you to so many wonderful places within its abode: portals where you can see images and videos of loved ones and those long past, concert halls that only play the music you wish to hear, social areas where you can get together with and spread your ideas with others.
But the friendly smile and finely tailored suit are nothing more than a disguise, a way for this Eldritch horror to make itself presentable to the public. Strip away its mask and suit and you are exposed to the abyss, its home where only the bravest or most depraved dare venture.
Read 7 tweets
Aug 27, 2018
Dear anti-trans parents who claim that their children "stopped being trans" because you didn't support it/convinced them otherwise:

Your child is most likely still trans, but they've come to learn that you cannot be trusted and that LYING IS SAFER than telling you the truth.
While some children might be trying to figure out their gender and realize they're cis, if a child comes out to you and you tell them you don't support them and make their living situation hostile and toxic, they will quickly learn that your love is conditional.
Your child will learn that what they are feeling and who they are is so anathema to you that if they want your love they need to lie and pretend to be something they're not.
They will internalize this pain and distrust.
They will learn that lying = safety.
Read 8 tweets
Aug 23, 2018
Next time I have someone asking why people don't seek out medical care until it's almost too late I'm just going to bury them in all the doctors bills and collections notices.
If we keep up with the issues we go broke or we are sent to collections, so we're stuck playing this fucked up game of how long can I put this off?

Harvey wound up in the hospital because if this, and already he's in the hole from paying the follow up doctors.
People shouldn't have to be forced to decide between paying bills, having food to eat, or healthcare. People shouldn't be having to resort to GoFundMe for medical care!
Read 7 tweets
Aug 17, 2018
Ok, let's break this down (now that I'm on a computer and able to take a screenshot and not RT the fucker. A thread
First off:
What most people call "welfare" is actually TANF, and the emphasis on that one is on the word TEMPORARY. As in you can't "live off of it" like people like Kirk claim. The "welfare" that many of them think of ended back in 1996, when I was a freshman in high school.
Read 17 tweets
Jul 25, 2018
So I want to discuss the topic of #ROGD that is being mentioned in #ROGDWEEEK2018.

I realized I was trans when I was around 8-10 years old. Until puberty hit, I was able to justify the difference between my body and my brother's body as us just being born different. 1/
But when puberty hit, it was like everything about myself betrayed who I was. I was growing breasts, I started my period, I started looking more feminine.

Up until my first period, I was able to justify and deal with being trans. When it happened, dysphoria hit with it. 2/
I didn't have any of the signs or symptoms listed today for childhood gender dysphoria, so by the thoughts in #ROGD I would have had rapid onset. It didn't matter that I knew I was trans for a year or more before my first period, my GD was "rapid" and started with puberty. 3/
Read 29 tweets
May 23, 2018
#WhitenessToldMe that only bad people are arrested or detained by police. Reality showed me how bullshit that was when a cop made my husband lie on the ground with his hands behind his head because he "looked suspicious."
We were literally just walking home from the minute mart down the road, yet this cop felt that my husband was suspicious and needed to be not only frisked, but made to lie on the ground face down while the cop ran his name.
You know who DIDN'T have that happen to them?

Me, the fucking American saltine who makes bleached chalk look tan. No, I got to stand there and watch while this happened, and was even treated like I was some sort of fucking victim of this man who I was with.
Read 12 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!