Thread by @sniphist

It's apparently #WorldSuicidePreventionDay so:

I've been v deeply suicidal at various stages of my life, for various reasons. Friends, family and meds have helped me get to a stage where I'm mentally healthier than ever and it doesn't cross my mind for weeks at a time ♥️

My worst suicidal period, and the time I was most in danger, I was still going to work, uni, and probably didn't seem much other than a bit down. Friends & family helped me feel safe enough to admit how bad it was and get better support - providing that space is so important!

Also every suicidal period for me has been triggered by structural issues, such as being put on a 2 year waiting list for medical conditions causing chronic pain, or being flat out broke from being unemployed and unable to get benefits. It's not a coincidence.

Feeling that there is a safety net and some structural support goes SO FAR to alleviate feelings of worthlessness and pointlessness. Feeling that society couldn't give a fuck if you starve to death tends to become internalised pretty quickly.

So pals: please reach out if you need to, I promise there are people who care. I might not be able to help but I know how it feels, and will listen if you need it.

Government: stop fucking murdering people by dehumanising them and depriving them of support.

I know everyone says it and it doesn't seem real but I swear it can get better. A year and a half ago, I lay in bed crying for a whole weekend because I wanted to die but felt I'd be letting people down if I did.

Now I spend a lot of time singing badly and dancing round my flat.

Bad days still happen but they're much more like "ugh I feel crap, I'll each chocolate and watch shit films" than active suicidality. My antidepressants have helped get me out of that black hole, and give me a lot more stability in my moods, allowing me to do good things!