Thread by @IWriteAllDay_

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay was yesterday and going ghost #onhere for it was probably the smartest thing I’ve done recently because folx have been dropping like flies the last two years. 2018 has been a particularly dangerous year for young death. And the ages keep dropping.

I’m about 4(?) years removed from my first suicide attempt. Is it gonna be my last? Meh. IDK. I feel like it would be hella dishonest to say a simple yes or no, but it has been interesting to reflect on it year after year.

#WorldSuicidePreventationDay

This is not a pity post. So don’t bring that to my doorstep, IRL or online. This is just me merely talking outloud about how suicidal ideation never really goes away and I think folx need to be upfront about admitting that 🤷🏾‍♀️

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay2018

Like, it can definitely be more aggressive sometimes or it can be very passive. And by passive, I mean something like “meh, I wonder what it would be like to just not be here???”

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay

And you don’t even think too much of it because it’s better than what your mind usually does lol

#WorldSuicidePreventationDay

Anyway. I’m saying this because every extra day I’m here is another day I’m intrigued by, mostly because I didn’t plan on being here that long and I try to take these extra days and do some worthwhile shit with them. Which is why I’m this “extra”.

#WorldSuicidePreventationDay

I joke all the time about how I didn’t see myself getting to my current age, but I mean, that’s real. And I’m not the only one my age who feels that way. I question if I’ll feel this way in 5 years or even be around to *think* about feeling this way.

#WorldSuicidePreventationDay

No matter. Peace to y’all who have to deal w/ nonstop suicidal ideation. Your experiences/trauma are valid and you don’t have to be happy-go-lucky when you talk about it. You also aren’t obligated to be *neat* about it.

Shit’s complicated 🤷🏾‍♀️

#WorldSuicidePreventationDay