Anu Praise. Profile picture
Sep 17, 2018 β€’ 21 tweets β€’ 6 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
I have had the worse experiences of my life relationship wise and I was resolute to let relationship be. As a matter of fact, I decided I would never have anything to do with any woman again.

Betty was so pushy that I was scared but...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
After 4 failed relationships with all my partners cheating on me and leaving me because I was a gentle man, I eventually met Derinsola during a vacation visit to the Bahamas. Being that I love them thick , the click was sleek. Somehow she feel for me aswell
Derin was the woman of my dreams beyond her gorgeous body, she was caring and super sweet. I was certain we're the dream couple bcos even the devil could see we were inseparable. I thought after the vacation we would break off but we only got stronger & better together.
Bcos of the nature of our jobs, we barely saw except on weekends & special arrangements. On one of her off days I decided to supreme her by paying her visit in the afternoon. I quickly drove to my friend's house who sells wristwatches to get her a surprise gift
Bcos I was in a hurry to get it over with I rushed into his house and headed for his kitchen to eat something first but what I saw blew me away. I saw my precious beloved Derin in between two guys screaming "harder harder don't stop"
I immediately broke down bcos for the 9months we been together I've not even seen her bra strap bcos she claimed to be "virgin" and I believed her bcos I loved her very much. But here she was being ploughed by two hefty menπŸ™†πŸ™† I just walked away in tears before I lost it.
It was so hard to deal with that it affected me psychologically & I became less productive in the office. My boss was resolute on having me fired but my records and the weight I pulled in the company made him have a rethink & he sent me for a retreat in the UK
In Aberdeen, Scotland all I wanted was an escape and interestingly I found the escape. The retreat was a Yoga Psychological & mental cleansing exercise. I was bamboozled to see several Africans and specifically Nigerians. I thought we Nigerians don't usually have these issues
But my perception changed. The whole thing was to last a period of 8 months but in my 3rd month I was almost as good as cleansed with a resolution that I'll do away with everything that has to do with women until a new set of Nigerians joined us.
All through the first three months I've had several beautiful girls throw themselves at me but I was resolute to a fault that I told them off directly. At some point, I would skip exercises just to avoid them and I got punished for this with longer hours of exercise
My healing progress was so swift that I was given a session to handle for the new intakes. I and the coach even fought over this but it would seem I don't have a choice. The first few weeks were cool until some of the ladies began to see me as a sex object😭😭😭
There was this two friends Betty and Derby who came together. Obviously Betty was the rich spoilt kid who came with her poor friend Derby to support her in her downtime.

Betty was so pushy that every other girl around decided to let me be for the fear of her.
Despite the fact that she was beautiful, rich and classy I just wasn't interested in her bcos I didn't want anything to do with a woman but I also noticed I was drawn to Derby. I was always happy whenever she was around & wanted to have around.
I fought the feelings so hard but I just couldn't hide it no more so I made advances at her but the disgust with which she said no broke me down.

I decided to forget about her but the more I saw her the more I melted for her.
On the eve of the day we were to round up, Betty came to me and promised me heaven & earth if only I'd date her. She gave me a cash sum of Β£25000 pound and promised to transfer another N100m into my account and make me a top manager in her father's conglomerate
At this point I was tempted, I swear my mind was saying a big fat yes even if my lips was saying no. I decided to start being nice to her bcos I was thinking of a whole lot of thing; damn her offer was juicy. Interestingly Derby began to warm up to me.
After giving it thorough thought I decided to stick with my happiness which was Derby despite all the juicy offers Betty brought forth. I decided in my mind I would try n play smart by leading Betty on. We all flew together, I refused Betty's first class offer to be with my Derby
Just as we arrived at the Abuja International airport I was shook by what I saw. An entourage of notable petsonalities came to welcome "us". I just stood at the back with my Derby as the people rushed towards Betty
Things took a new turn when everyone seemed to be avoiding Betty & rushing towards us and boom just like that, I discovered that Betty was the servant of Derby & they were just pretending all through. Damn they played a "coming to America on me" 😭😭😭
Yes I was angry and pissed but I was very happy I stuck with my love and if I hadn't, I would have ended up with the slave and be treated as a slave.
Thanks for coming around hope you had a great read

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More from @aanupraise

Sep 2, 2018
"If you have faith, nothing can move you, no power wether physical or spiritual can scare you" were the last words that came out of Pst Tunde's mouth when heard "poh poh poh kpa kpa kpu kpu" sound of guns in the terbernacle...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
Everybody just went down even before being instructed to do so; the shocking part was that Pst Tunde within this few seconds had emptied his pockets, lying face down & begging that his life be spared.
Pst Tunde is famous for his teachings on faith as a dogged preacher. We've heard so much about him that we even heard he's been shot several times but the bullet didn't penetrate his skin. We even heard he used faith to driver a car with empty tank from Abuja to calabar
Read 10 tweets
Aug 30, 2018
The job offer came with a fat 6 digits salary, official house, official car & a paid house help service. I didn't even bother giving it a second thought before I boarded the bus from Calabar to Abuja... I was frustrated when John Said he's traveled

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
Having been jobless for 6 years, the mouth watering offer that came with the job took away my sense of reasoning. I didn't even bother to call John & inform him I would be staying at his place for the period of the job interview process.
I guess my subconscious mind calculated that since John has never gotten a leave time from work since he started 8 years ago he wasn't going to be getting one now that I was coming.
Read 36 tweets
Aug 24, 2018
I sat in the examination halls with my eyes pacing about & my heart praying. I looked at my watch & discovered the 7hrs I calculated in my head was just 13mins.

I concluded it was over for me & I'm getting an extra year until...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
Well I attended an expensive private scho close to the house from my kindergarten days up to my primary school. So far amongst the 8 students I always came first undisputed & everyone was sure I was intelligent except my cousin sister who called me local champion.
She always told my dad that I'm just enjoying the privilege of no competition that if I was sent to a public school I would be beaten hands down πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

It always sounded funny & unbelievable until one day I got angry & made my dad consider her appeal.
Read 24 tweets
Aug 21, 2018
Janet was a thorn in my life throughout my secondary school days. She was big, ugly & strong. I always imagined how I would deal with her but it all ended in imaginations until I saw her 10 years later looking like freshly baked pieπŸ‘…πŸ‘…

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
I transferred to the school from my other school bcos of the same bullying issue. The girl at my other school was bullying me bcos I asked her friend out & didn't ask her out. I had hoped this transfer would be my redemption bcos the lies I told for my dad to transfer me was deep
So when I arrived at this new school, I decided to keep away from girls & mind my business. But being intelligent was the only thing wrong I did. All the girls were attracted to me while I was just doing my thing. Anytime I tried to get my freak on with any of them
Read 31 tweets
Aug 14, 2018
I've always thought my choices were wrong but this time it felt too good not to be right. She was against my choice of being a Masseur but I was hell bent on doing that which brings me joy & income.

As I entered, she shut the door behind me & said...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads
Randa and I have been dating for 2years & everyone around us have been expecting us to consolidate things in marriage. She was ready, her family was ready, my family was ready, I was ready but my account balance didn't seem ready.
As a graduate teaching in a private secondary school with a 25k monthly salary, marriage was way out of my budget. Randa is the first daughter of her family from Akwa Ibom & her bride price isn't something you pray about (rara oh). You must have money even if you have faith.
Read 33 tweets
Jul 12, 2018
#RantivityThursday

Seriously writing,

There is a huge difference between satire/sarcasm and senseless, messageless and unnecessary jokes!

Sadly, many Nigerians don't understand this.

#JosiahsThreads
There are so many issues of national, religious and sociocultural importance that have been sacrificed on the altar of memes and jokes.

This is bcos out of a desire to be funny, many of us have taken to making jokes out of the serious issues, thereby watering down their gravity
If you go online, especially on this app, you'll see memes & jokes making light of infidelity in relationships & marriages. The other day, someone wrote that if having one boyfriend could bring happiness, she couldn't but imagine how much happiness ten boyfriends would bring.
Read 10 tweets

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