Subomi Profile picture
Oct 2, 2018 19 tweets 4 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
LIFE HAPPENS | “Sho, do you cook?”, my date asked. I replied jauntily, “I used to but not anymore. I now have access to a chef and can afford to order what I like eating.” #Thread #Life #Relationships
My date followed up by asking, “If your boyfriend asked you to cook for him, would you?” I grinned, as I realised my date was sadly playing from a script. I replied, “I don’t have a guy I like who’s asking me to cook, so I can’t say.”
I think my date thought I was being coy. But, I wasn’t. I was just being honest. A while ago, I decided to deal in reality and not hypotheticals. I have tried and failed to control life. All my effort got me was an anxiety problem and therapy.
So, I’ve chosen to let a big God take care of this big girl. I now focus on what’s in front of me and not what could be.
A few years ago, I had an interesting conversation with a friend. When he was dating, his girlfriend at the time, asked if he was comfortable with her travelling regularly for work. (She was a management consultant and he, an entrepreneur.) He blithely responded, yes.
15 years later, he had spent 7 years being a house husband and taking care of the kids. He told me that there was no way he could have concatenated a wife who traveled with him being a house husband. But, he was happy and had dealt with it. Life happens.
I recall chatting with a group of young single woman. One was very sexual and declared, “I can’t marry a guy who doesn’t like oral sex. He must go down on me regularly oh.” Fast forward 3 years and she & her hubby discover he has a benign strain of Herpes.
When stressed, the husband breaks out in fever blisters and can neither perform his cunnilingual duties nor even kiss her. Life happens.
There’s a guy I kept cautioning about the fantastical expectations he was creating in his head. Unfortunately, porn never prepared him for the logistical challenges of a female wig or heavy make up on white sheets. Life happens.
I’ve realised there’s a reason why humans have executive capacity. When things change, we’re able to take in the new data to adapt and blossom. I love scenario analysis, but when it comes to relationships with people, I’d rather relax.
I prefer to approach people from a place of values and ideology. All other things are variables that can be worked with. This means I never rush into commitment. I enjoy getting to know people.
I once had a guy ask me to be his girlfriend after 24 hours of meeting me. I couldn’t help but blurt out, “But I could be a mammy water or serial killer!"
My point was, I was wondering where he was rushing to and if he thought I was one of those women who accuse men of being slow. He didn’t know I suck at scripts.
I hate scripts, yet Nigerians seem to use them a lot. It’s not solely our fault, I imagine. We were never really schooled in abstract reasoning. So, we rarely know how to deal with situations or people who aren’t typecast.
It’s why many men can’t fathom an older woman who’s beautiful, successful yet single by choice. They assume she’s either heartbroken & bitter, choosy & proud, desperate & willing or possessed & spiritually troubled.
They can’t conceptualise other options. It’s a lack of exposure and abstract reasoning, unfortunately.
I think in life, we need to take things easier. We need to breathe & not try to fit everything into boxes our minds can handle. That we don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s either a puzzle we were never meant to solve or a learning moment. Breathe.
[For more of my random thoughts about life, you should get my new book, UNSCRIPTED. It’s available on Amazon and on my e-store:]
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More from @subomiplumptre

Oct 9, 2018
Dr. Ola Brown, @NaijaFlyingDr. I'd like to share my take-aways in this thread. Please read and RETWEET. #FixNigerianHealthcare…
In her book, @NaijaFlyingDr provides a simple guide to policy decisions that should provide better healthcare to ALL Nigerians. #FixNigerianHealthcare
First, the book presents the bad news and some frightening stats that should precipitate a state of emergency, if we had brain in #Nigeria. #FixNigerianHealthcare
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Aug 28, 2018
#HEALING, #MEDICINE & OTHER MATTERS: One thing I struggle with and continue to talk to God about, is the ratio of people he heals versus those healed by medicine or those who eventually die.
Let's discount specific waves of the Spirit, for a moment - the ministries of Kathryn Kuhlman and other documented faith healers. Instead, let's do a simple headcount of those who get miraculously healed in an average church.
We may find that less people are healed supernaturally than those who die, or those who get healed through medicine.
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Aug 26, 2018
"God, I want my future back." Those were the words I whispered to God two weeks ago, while I was going through the greatest health scare of my life. #Thread #Health #Life
In the midst of the tests and various medical consultations, it occurred to me that my life had stopped. My symptoms limited my movements and where I could go. So, I couldn't plan and I couldn't project forward.
Things like traveling or dating went out of the window. I was stuck on finding a solution to my health challenge. My tests are still ongoing. I'm still seeing doctors, but we think we now know what's wrong. And so, I am hopeful.
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Aug 22, 2018
My next video & WhatsApp investment course begins on September 7. You can join from anywhere in the world. Here's what I'll teach:
- Foundational principles of investing
- Three investment indices you should track regularly
- How to set up an investment account
- Important documentation you will need for investing
- Professional advisors you will need
- Breakdown of the different areas you can invest in including: Treasury bills, money market funds, stocks & shares, real estate, agriculture, cryptocurrency, exports and venture funding
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Aug 12, 2018
Yesterday, I thought about how difficult it is for many of us to concatenate being Christian with enjoying life. #Thread #Christianity #Christian
Somehow we imagine one cannot be Christian and sexual, Christian and metrosexual, Christian and gourmand. When we are forced to make a choice, we either choose active Christian and boring or passive Christian and epicurean.
I am so alive. I am culturally exposed and enjoy living. But, there is a centredness to me. Because God lives within me, he modulates everything I do.
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Aug 11, 2018
And so, @custodianplc's #MentorsConference begins! @lekealder is in the building!

#Nigeria #Mentoring
Mr. Wole Oshin, GMD @custodianplc shares his career story. He dreamt of being the MD of an insurance company at age 18! Watch the video live stream on @custodianplc's Facebook Page:

#CustodianMentors #Nigeria
At 27, I ensured I had all my professional qualifications. I was a chartered insurer and had an MBA. But, I've learnt in my career that there is no "best" time to start a business or career. Don't give in to fear or #socialmedia peer pressure! ~ Wole Oshin #CustodianMentors
Read 49 tweets

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