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1/ This isn't a #MeToo story exactly, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. This happened when I was 22. I'd been in DC less than a year, working as a receptionist on Capitol Hill
2/ My friends and I attended a huge black tie event full of Southern political people. Tons of people we knew and worked with. Open bar (natch), ball gowns, the whole nine...
3/ I was hanging out with a good friend and a girl she worked with. I didn't know the 2nd girl well but she was sweet, shy, a bit awkward. She looked AMAZING, low-cut dress showcasing her grandmother's pearls and a knock out figure
4/ An older man, very drunk, one of the party sponsors, came up and said something about her cleavage, so bad she burst into tears. It wasn't something like "You look sexy" or even "Nice tits," it was about what the view made him want to do to her 🤮
5/ She just wanted to go home after that but my friend and I- both of us recent women's college graduates and budding feminists primed to save the world from the patriarchy- sprang into action on her behalf.
6/ Our righteous indignation galvanized by the "Crown & Diet" in our double old-fashioneds (I know, I know, shut up 🙈), we reported it to several people from their office. I'm sure I complained to anyone who would listen.
7/ Both of us woke up the next morning with a Papadopoulos-level hangover. Who all did I talk to? Did I say too much? Is anyone mad at me? Am I going to be in trouble on Monday?
8/ To be fair, her office made the guy apologize. We worked with good people. Then again, that's easy for a United States Senator. Most people don't have that kind of leverage.
9/ But we didn't get off scot free. As we feared, our salacious tale had not been universally well-received. Several people sought us out to talk about what happened.
10/ Not official reprimands- it was couched as "advice" and "mentoring." They cautioned we should mind our own business, that we'd overreacted, caused unnecessary drama. We should've waited until we sobered up. Things look different in the light of day
11/ They warned us about getting "a reputation" - not the kind that keeps you from getting into a sorority, the kind that keeps you from getting a job. The word "troublemakers" was not used but it was strongly implied.
12/ I remember being ashamed for weeks, avoiding people I had seen that night, wishing I had let it go instead of blowing it out of proportion. For a long time, I couldn’t think about that night without cringing.
13/ Looking back, I know our instincts were correct. It shouldn’t have happened. She should have been allowed to enjoy her night, her moment, her beautiful dress. And we were right to step up.
14/ In retrospect, an apology doesn't seem like much. (Although I imagine being summoned to the Capitol to face senatorial-style dressing down for making a secretary cry was a highly unpleasant experience)
15/ So that's the conditioning I got as a young staffer. And I don’t fault anyone for trying to help us. The thing is, that was GOOD advice at the time, professionally at least. That’s how harassment works.
16/ We soon learned to meet a leer with a friendly smile. Giggle at their creepy come-ons. When to playfully smack a roving hand and pivot away from an incoming grope. Who to avoid after midnight.
17/ Because we were on our own. We had to get along or we’d have been left out completely, our careers over before they started. That’s how harassment works.
18/ That's not the worst thing I experienced or witnessed as a staffer, not by a long shot, but it's the last time I complained. And that's how they get you. That’s how harassment works.
19/ I don’t know if anything has changed on Capitol Hill. I assume it has. I hope it has. But there’s no way to know. Because those girls aren’t saying anything either. That’s how harassment works.
And he acts like I'm supposed to remember the name 25 years later. We definitely named him at the time. He must have missed the part where they made him apologize 🙄
https://twitter.com/Kacibelle/status/1049313570746511362
@GChernack This might interest your wife. Ask her to forgive a little poetic license
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