Thread by @gbkansara

Peter Subramani was sitting in a large, secret room inside a large Mushroom, and smiled as he looked at a large board on the large wall. 1/

The Mushroom had other large rooms too. A "Miracle Room" for training new #Subraminis to dance like demented monkeys for a miracle cure. 2/

A "Media Room" which sent simple messages to #Subraminis and their cohorts through #WTF so that they repeat these like demented parrots. 3/

An unnamed, secretive room with a large door and #seven locks. No one knew what happened inside as even shrieks cannot be heard outside. 4/

Peter was looking at the large board. It had a large map of India on the left, with red pin-tacks all over it. A #rosary hung on the top. 5/

On the top right Peter saw the huge operating margin, with revenue (schools, rents, movies...) towering over expenses (mostly rice bags). 6/

Below that was a rather long list which Peter kept track of. On its top was:

Education
-> Schools
-> Syllabi
-> Rules
-> Teachers
-> ... 7/

The list continued:

Entertainment
-> Movies
-> Music
-> Standups
-> ...

Culture
-> Temples
-> Festivals
-> Customs
-> Tribal
-> ... 8/

And then: Land, Hills, Court, Finance, and many more. Against each was a tick mark, some green (Land, School) and some yellow (Customs). 9/

Against "Festivals", Peter made a similar green mark, moved his hands towards "Courts", a green mark, and then to "Media", a green mark. A/

"A huge victory without any data," said Peter to himself and laughed. It was now time for the "Department of Daily Distractions," or D3. B/

D3 was founded after White Beard became the PM, fearing a backlash. The first distraction of "Mushrooms under Attack" was a huge success. C/

As Peter found out that White Beard and Black Beard were busy, and no one else in their party cared about anything, he empowered D3 more. D/

D3 had the blessings of She Who Shall Not Be Named, and therefore, its membership grew rapidly with each "Hail Mary!" shouted by Peter. E/

Every two-bit author, every failed journalist, every hamming actor, every English-flaunting liberal, contributed to Daily Distractions. F/

The whole idea of D3 was to create daily distractions which would keep White Beard's govt. busy, and Peter could continue with His work. G/

Of late D3 was facing stiff #resistance from #OHM, Organized Hindu Movement, its only nemesis. Maybe the Courts could take care of them? H/

OHM had obliterated the story on Black Beard's son, but D3 got away this time as #WTF messages went viral anyway. Damn those brackets! I/

D3 still got their way, from getting their favorite placard holder on their global magazine, to banning the big festival citing health. J/

Since OHM fought over matters of profundity and fecundity, D3 was under the impression that OHM would disappear soon. It was not to be. K/

In a room lit with diyās, with eyes closed, the saffron-clad djinn was chanting "Jai Śri Rām". With every chant, OHM grew more powerful. L/

With every chant, somewhere the sky sparkled with fireworks, and as everyone chanted together, the sky turned deep saffron with delight. M/

The djinn smiled and said to Black Beard, "It is a long battle, but the first shot has been fired, literally in the form of crackers!" /END