Andrew Profile picture
Dec 4, 2017 10 tweets 3 min read
Everything in the following tweets actually happened this morning but has been translated into screenplay format for no reason I can point too other than dramatic effect. Enjoy! #MTA #Subway #MondayMorning
INT. 6 TRAIN - MORNING
A crowded subway car pulls out of the 33rd street station and makes it only halfway before coming to a complete stop. There’s silence for a few moments before any announcements are made. It’s Monday morning and people are tired.
CONDUCTOR
(Over speaker)
Hey partner, there’s a track fire up ahead.

PARTNER
(Over speaker. Indistinguishable garble)

The passengers on board all share a look of disbelief as they realize the conductor’s announcement was not really meant for them.
PARTNER
Ladies and gentleman, please be advised, we’re being held due to a red signal up ahead.

PASSENGER 1
What’d they say?

PASSENGER 2
They said it was a red signal but that other guy just said it was a fire.
A few more moments pass as everyone waits for more announcements, all talking amongst themselves at the ridiculousness of the situation.
PARTNER
(Over speaker. Indistinguishable garble)

CONDUCTOR
(Over speaker)
Yeah you could see the flames and stuff. They asked me if it was just smoke and I was like, ‘I’m not going through that!”
The passengers all laugh but also can’t really believe what they’re hearing. The MTA had promised to be more open and honest about subway delays but nobody expected this. A few more moments pass.
CONDUCTOR
(Over speaker)
Hey partner, they’re asking me to go through this.

CROWD
No!

CONDUCTOR
(Over speaker)
I’ll just go a little further and see how high it is.

CROWD
NO!

The train starts to move, albeit very slowly.
PASSENGER 3
Why are we moving so slowly? Don’t go slowly through the fire!

A baby starts crying.

PASSENGER 4
See the baby knows what’s going on.

PASSENGER 3
Let’s tweet Trump. Let’s tweet Trump right now.
The train car continues to move at a snails pace as the passengers all look out the window waiting to see flames roaring up the side of the train car. After a few moments they finally pull into Grand Central. Upon exiting the entire station smells like a BBQ.

FADE TO BLACK #MTA

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