Luke R. J. Maynard Profile picture
Jan 7, 2018 5 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
I throw the finest tantrums; I'm repetitive and furious
When CNN airs anything too screwy to be spurious,
My crooked doctor tells me I'm a paragon of sanity,
And if you don't believe him, you can always ask @SeanHannity...
The scholars and historians will wrack their brains to fathom all
The ways to fact and knowledge I'm offensive and anathemal;
Believe me, I will lead you to a "new age of prosperity"—
And leave no page unburnt to be disproven by posterity...
My speeches are the best: I am the best at slurred meandering
Between extremes of bullying and sychophantic pandering:
If you're not counting Nero and forget who Mussolini is,
I never had an equal as a bigly #stablegenius!
I still obsess on Hilary, and find no small hiliarity
In Bob's investigations, ignorant of my precarity,
I waddle in a dotard's haze, devoid of perspicacity,
And keep denying tested facts with limitless audacity...
My rhetoric's mostly stomping, screaming, beating my atrocious chest,
But when it comes to bragging, I am still the braggadociousest,
From cola-pitted bones to orange skin most pergameneous,
I'm through and through the model of a bigly stable genius!

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