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Kaija Rayne Profile picture
@Kaija_Rayne
Mar 2, 2018 • 14 tweets • 8 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Chp 20: THE ECLIPSE

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
"While I deeply love both my children, I dare not ask myself whose personality I prefer. I can't hide how smitten I am with my daughter, nor my growing antipathy towards my son."

I'm horrified. How do you write that in a book to let other people read??

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
She must have the kid locked in his room the whole time. The passage I just read was all about how he pounds holes in the walls and overflows the bath tub because she's busy with the baby.

I just... can't fathom it. That's not cause he's autistic.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
She says here that her daughter is 'an absolute gem of an infant' and then this...

"Unlike Zack as a baby, Cassie is exceptionally watchful of my every move."

But she said, in this SAME BOOK, that Zack would watch her closely when he was younger, before

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
he was put into daycare at three months. THAT's when his problems and pulling away started.

Daycare is NOT bad, but ZACK had a problem with it.

Is this woman mad? Like... does she need help for mental problems?

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
"From the moment I first accepted that Cassie did not have autism..."

At this point, the baby is 6 months old. The EARLIEST diagnostic tests for autism start at I believe 8 months old. It's more typical to catch it around 2 yrs old.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
She's so full of shit her eyes should be brown. (I have no idea what color her eyes are.)

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
augh!

"Just for a moment, what if Cassie was our first and only child? What if Keith and I could start over with just her and then have just one more typical child?"

Oh my gods. Oh my gods, please don't let Zack read this.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
"No one who hasn't walked in my shoes gets to judge me"

Fvck you bitch, *I* walk in your shoes every damned day and I judge you all the way to hell and back. You're EVIL. SELFISH, and a HORRIBLE PERSON.

You disgust me.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
Zack is acting out against Cassie now. Gee I wonder the fvck why??

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
and she attacks Zack because he hurt Cassie.

I just... what the actual fvck is wrong with this woman?

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
This is Zack saying this after he stole some brownies.

"You Ok? Mommy, are you Ok? You Ok?"... she goes on to say "This is his default phrase when Zack suspects I'm angry or anxious..."

You know who else does that? Abuse victims. I can't remember what

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
it's called, but it's placating the abuser behavior.

Did she think people would empathize with her over this book? It's revolting.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum
The last paragraph is her saying she loves her son. Still.

Jesus christ, that is NOT love.

#KaeEditsAUWE #ElmoMum

Wrap of chapter.

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More from @Kaija_Rayne

Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Aug 29, 2018
Okay. So I'm reading an old favorite of mine. And while I still love it it's so bad!

Head hopping.
Heaving bosoms
Blushing virgins.
HEAD HOPPING

oh my...

😂
Oh gods... And bold manhoods too.
Ugh. This heroine is so freaking petulant.
Read 15 tweets
Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Aug 28, 2018
Friendship is the oddest thing.

I don't offer it to many ppl bcs I'm usually disappointed. It's just been my life experience.

Today I've realized that I'm likely to be friends for a very long time with one person I haven't talked to much lately bcs of life/baby stuff.

& I
sadly realized that two other peeps I had in the *friend* category have been demoted to *ppl I talk to sometimes*.

I don't really understand how or why that happens for me. It's very clear in my head, it's not something that's intentional in any way.

It just happens.

Usually
something happens that makes me realize they obviously don't feel the same way abt me as I did abt them.

Like if they considered us *casual mates* and I thought *found family*, or if they thought *potential love interest* and I thought *fun person to chat online with*

Or
Read 8 tweets
Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Aug 8, 2018
Ok. I was finally pushed into soft-blocking someone. I just did not want a big wig m/a/g/a type following me.

I looked at the timeline & profile & noped out.

He didn't take the hint & kept refollowing (yes I feel bad, maybe he didn't get it, & it's still ableist)

But I
am a vulnerable minority, many of my twitter peeps are too, so nope nope. He's now blocked.

I sometimes hate this world.

For all I know he was trying to learn, but I can't afford to take that risk with either myself or my peeps.

Not in 2018.

SMDH. As I've *always* said
Soft-blocking can be ableist because its use is predicated on the assumption that everyone understands it exists & that ppl might use it.

Many ppl don't know or understand when it's happening, the very definition of intellectual ableism.

But if you have to use it for your or
Read 4 tweets
Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Jul 30, 2018
Gut punch.

500 agent queries on 3 books over 3 yrs.

I always told them my marginalizations (queer, autistic, mixed race, disabled, mentally ill) cause fuck, you'll see it in the MS.

I thought maybe I was fooling myself w/thinking my books were good.

Then I turned to small
press and got offers w/i months.

My most recent book is on bloody display at The Ripped Bodice (please go buy one there. Support their commitment to real diversity).

I was repeatedly told by agents that my books were *too diverse*.

I'm tired. But I'm not going to quit.
Ppl like Me, Like Sasha, like everyone need to be able to see themselves on page in all the genres they could ever hope to read.

The gatekeepers need to get with the bloody program.

Though I doubt I'll ever be strong enough to query agents again. Not after my exp.

Lolz, maybe
Read 4 tweets
Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Jul 21, 2018
I snort every time I see people down on mobile eyebrows for writing stuff.

It's ridiculous. Do all y'all writers ever actually LOOK at another human's face? Eyebrows, lids & corners of the eyes are the MOST mobile & expressive parts of our faces.

Even more so than the mouth.
I am quite proud to cling to my eyebrow motions in writing. My brows are the easiest way for you to tell how I'm feeling.

I can control my mouth and eyes okay, brows? Not so much.

Wiggly eyebrows are GOOD when describing characters. As with anything it shouldn't be overused,
but it's like that REALLY AWFULLY BAD ADVICE to get rid of all instances of *was*.

Seriously, have you ever tried that? (I have, it equals a very horrible piece of prose.)

With all writing advice, please, please, please remember that it's YOUR story. YOU write it how y'all see
Read 4 tweets
Kaija Rayne Profile picture
Jul 20, 2018
This is a huge pet peeve of mine.

So many ppl use the term *Mary sue* to basically bash an authors work because it didn't resonate.

Very few ppl actually know what a Mary Sue actually is. (It isn't nice/saintly)

There's actually a very specific definition of what MS is.
Betcha many of you couldn't explain it to a 5 year old, meaning you probably don't understand it.

So maybe don't use the term *Mary sue* with regards to an authors work unless you're REALLY SURE.

There's a (long) quiz linked on my website under resources for writers that
clarifies what a Mary Sue/Gary Stu is.

And honestly, the whole concept is rooted in sexism against women anyway.

I give anyone using the term extreme side-eye.

It's also painful as fvck to have a well rounded character (who you've worked really hard on) called that.

Esp.
Read 4 tweets

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