A good friend once told me, “Carry your cross, Catholic girl”. Tonight, especially tonight, I know it’s exactly what I have to do.

Becoming Catholic is not like anything else I’ve ever done. It’s not shallow, it’s not half-measures.

It’s radical to say “I have been called to suffer. I have been called to sacrifice. I have been called to take up my cross.”

To the world, it’s the deluded adherence to some sort of invisible sky fairy, to the detriment of my own “reasonable” desires.
I understand why one might take that position. I always have, to varying degrees. “Why be extreme in following God? He loves you, you say, so are you then afraid of going to hell?”
I commit my sacrifice and suffering to God not out of fear. I commit my sacrifice and suffering to God out of love.
I thought I knew love. We all know the usual Biblical meanings of love, that have ironically become almost secular in usage: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” and the rest of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
But dare I add that the theme throughout this verse is the theme laid out by Christ. Love is suffering. Love is sacrifice. Love is pain.
Love is paradox.

Love is a man who was cursed, because he hung from a tree.

Love is dying so that your friends may live.
To die is not always to die physically, of course. To die can be to die to self. To die can be to give up what you want, in order to truly be able to see what God wants.
For me, God gave me no easy cross. For me, I am to do the one thing I am the worst at in this world: to be patient. To suffer the temporary. To suffer the uncertain. To suffer the undecided.
And yet, God gave me the tools to bear that cross.

God made me stubborn. God made me determined. And in the internal struggle between my impatience and my stubbornness?

Well, stubbornness has to win. If not, how else could I keep saying I’m stubborn? ;)
My stubborn heart kept me from God, now my stubborn heart keeps me from straying from God.

Paradoxes are a beautiful thing.
Paradoxes place us right where love and fear nearly touch - only to remind us that perfect love casts out fear.

Our human minds see paradoxes, and we can describe them as such, but God guards the space where the paradoxes can’t quite stand. Where two opposites cannot hold fast.
This may not make a lot of sense to anyone else, and I don’t expect it to, but just know that I can’t go back to who I used to be, for God has changed me. And yet, in so many other ways, I haven’t changed at all. Paradox.

I suffer the same. But now I know suffering to be love.

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More from @StefMLozinski

Sep 7, 2018
Lol so funny story I went to the wrong airport *adventure intensifies* 🤣
So I’m going to use this airport as my hobo hotel anyway because the other one is tiny and closes at 11PM lmao
Ah, I found my sleeping spot from last time. Memories. I even still have the airplane pillow @CatalinaVita gave me after Ireland when she realized I had to sleep in here. 🤣
Read 9 tweets
Sep 6, 2018
Cardinal Wuerl replaced Cardinal Burke on the Congregation for Bishops in 2013.
Cardinal Cupich was also appointed to the Congregation by Pope Francis in 2016.
Wuerl and Cupich are playing a large role in the selection of Bishops, particularly American Bishops. (Thread)
It is an absolute outrage that these men have not been immediately removed from their posts in light of the very credible allegations made against both of them in the Vigano letter.
I hadn't even realized until today that both of these men were a part of the Congregation for Bishops! Sadly, nothing surprises me any more.
Read 8 tweets
Sep 4, 2018
The Church is in a defining moment, the Church is on the cross... we have nowhere else to go, and nothing else to do, but hold fast and stay with Christ.
It’s a terrible time to be Catholic. It’s a perfect time to become a Saint.
I'm not special, but I don't have to be. God has a use for all of us, if we say yes to him. His use for me - right now, as well as I can discern - is just this one little thing: He wants me to be myself. But not to be myself FOR myself, and for my desires, but for Him.
Read 7 tweets
Aug 18, 2018
I know this is uncomfortable. I know this isn’t an easy thing to talk about. But we can’t let our discomfort scare us away from seeking solutions from a foundation of truth. This is primarily a homosexual pederasty problem. We cannot hide from this in the Church any longer.
Also, I need to note as well that we need to consider per capita numbers here to get a real picture.
23% of the cases being heterosexual in nature SOUNDS like a decent chunk of the problem. And of course in raw numbers it is significant and must also be combatted in a different manner.
Read 16 tweets
Jul 24, 2018
I ponder Matthew 26:11: “For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me.”

Even if we were to cure temporal poverty, our spiritual poverty would remain. Corporal works of mercy profit us nothing if they don’t lead to spiritual good.

Choose meaning.
While it is true we live in a world of extreme wealth and extreme poverty, where people like you and I live as kings compared to the truly destitute, I don’t believe this will ever be fixed as long as our culture rejects the spiritual life.
It is vital to help the poor. James 2:15 tells us “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”
Read 6 tweets
Jun 8, 2018
I’m Catholic. I believe I receive the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ in the Eucharist every day. For real. The actual thing.

That isn’t a matter I’m ecumenical on. I’m sorry if that offends you. It offended a lot of people in John 6.
I am ecumenical on matters that are ecumenical. I truly strive to love everyone. Including actual enemies, let alone non-Catholic Christian brothers and sisters!

But there are real, vital, important differences between us. I’m not going to shy from them.
Timing is God’s. It is perfect. I became Catholic when I was meant to. But my human understanding really, really, really, really, really wishes I’d met Catholics who weren’t afraid to share what they have.

I’m weak, imperfect, and flawed, but I will witness the truth.
Read 4 tweets

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