Thread by @am_anatiala

NEXT UP: #1 seeded PYGMY HIPPO vs. #2 seeded CHEETAH! #2018MMM

(photo credit: #actuallivingscientist @AnneWHilborn, Dr. John Carroll (snr.unl.edu/aboutus/who/pe…), Dr. Hernandez (warnell.uga.edu/people/faculty…) & @conservationorg (pygmyhippo.uga.edu/index.html))

Tonight's battle was a tag-team collab between @AnneWHilborn (Anne) and @am_anatiala (Asia)! #whapalabmates #2018MMM

ASIA: So, Anne, I wouldn't think that this 130lb/265 stoat-heavy fast cat would make it this far. Cheetahs aren't generally considered great fighters, right? *whispers* Unlike Kylo. #2018MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement

ANNE: That's right, Asia, but the cheetah has advanced thanks to a strategy worthy of Sun Tzu: a combo of naked aggression against smaller species & tactical retreats against scary ones. #2018MMM

ASIA: Meanwhile, the 220kg/1kilostoat pygmy hippo (smaller than #Fiona

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), which sweats its own blood (#METAL) like sunscreen (#NOTSOMETAL) has both crushed & scared off the competition while safe inside its swampy home #2018MMM #StoatsAsMeasurement

ANNE: HOWEVER. Tonight, our setting is randomized. No more higher seed home court advantage for either of them. The dice have rolled & tonight's battle takes place in a...*squints at notecard* grassland? Is this right? #2018MMM

ASIA: Uh. Yes. This is correct. A grassland. So, through random chance, the battle takes place in a habitat the cheetah is very comfortable with. This is amazingly lucky. *chuckles, elbows Anne* What an aye-aye curse, huh? #2018MMM

Image used by permission of @PPricklepants

ANNE: Yeah I mean who would be scared of some sort of rumpled primate whose finger is thought to...lemme see here (rustles papers: marefa.org/images/e/ea/Pi…)...mark whoever they are pointing at for death.

ASIA: That doesn't sound scary at all. At all. #2018MMM

ANNE: Indeed. You'd think it was the hippo that was "cursed". The hippo is NOT happy with this setting. No trees/muck to hide among = jumpy hippo. One thing I know is that you don't want to be around a jumpy hippo, even a pygmy one #2018MMM

ASIA: Maybe time for a tactical retreat?

ANNE: Maybe, cheetahs are fast at the undignified exit if things go south. I've seen one get pushed off a kill by some aggressive vultures (I was so ashamed). Though in this pic retreating from a hyena is perfectly honorable #2018MMM

ASIA: Well, it looks like the action's starting. We're about, oh, two hours after sunset in the Serengeti, a time when hippos typically leave their rivers and look for food. And even if it's scared, a hippo's got to eat, right? #2018MMM

ANNE: Yep. Our pygmy hippo is still a bit twitchy, but right now it's nibbling on some grass. Different fare from swamp veg, but it'll do the job. Actually, did you know that the larger common hippo also eats meat? researchgate.net/profile/Marcus… #2018MMM

ASIA: No way. Like, how do they even...do they just gum the meat up with their jaws or swallow it...wait...what's that?

Ah! Here's our other combatant, the cheetah, trotting in stage left. Actually, can they even see each other? #2018MMM

ANNE: The pygmy hippo is active at night, so it should be able to see the cheetah.

Our cheetah hunts mostly during the day, however here it is being all active at night & once again ruining my fieldwork plans.

He looks a bit jumpy too though #2018MMM

ASIA: Maybe lions harrassed it?

ANNE: *nods*. They're jerks. Karen Laureson found lions killed 57% of cheetah cubs in Serengeti .

ASIA: Uh the cheetah isn't really paying attention right now...it's...it's going to trot right into the hippo. #2018MMM catsg.org/cheetah/05_lib…

ANNE: And the hippo sees it.

ASIA: Uh oh.

ANNE: *gestures frantically for the cheetah to go the other way*

ASIA: OH! The cheetah's leaping away, must've just noticed the hippo...But it's not leaping far enough away. Uh...#2018MMM

ANNE: The hippo is doing what hippos do when alarmed on land, charging...

ASIA: Whoa, the hippo is not stopping.

ANNE: That hippo is mad.

ASIA: Really mad.

ANNE: The hippo has knocked the cheetah down. I repeat, CHEETAH DOWN... #2018MMM

ASIA: It's trampling on the cheetah's RIBS. You can hear bones snap.

ANNE: There's a reason cheetah researchers try hard not to get attached to their study animals.

ASIA: Can the cheetah come back from this? #2018MMM

ABOVE THE BATTLE, A GHOSTLY AYE-AYE-SHAPED APPARITION APPEARS: #2018MMM

ASIA: Hippo's mouth is open.

ANNE: THE HIPPO HAS BIT THROUGH THE CHEETAH'S CHEST. *whispers* I can't watch any more

ASIA: There's so much BLOOD! It's squirting in pulses *snaps fingers* That means it hit an important artery. #2018MMM

ANNE: *groans* No getting up from that. There goes my PhD.

ASIA: Nope. No way. Ugh, and the hippo is still trampling the cheetah. It's dead, for Pete's sake. Can we...okay, we're going to cut to commercial. This is too

#2018MMM

HIPPO PUNCTURES CHEETAH!!!! #2018MMM