Philip O'Connor Profile picture
Mar 31, 2018 7 tweets 3 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
If you’re a man and you have been tweeting in support of #Ibelieveher, here’s a simple concrete thing you can do to change things.
If you’re in a WhatsApp group like the one the Ulster Rugby lads had & someone says something like they did, mark their card. You don’t have to …
... go nuts, just "Lads, a bit of respect" will do it. Doing things like this is hard, and some will tell you to lighten up, or call you a faggot, or whatever.
You might even feel you have to leave the group - but do you really want to be friends with people like that?
As a man, this will cost you - you'll have to spend your time explaining this shit to people, and you may lose a few friends along the way.
But that price is an awful lot less than the one paid by any woman taking the witness stand and telling a court that she did not consent.
The dynamics in groups of people usually work in that a certain few people set the tone, and the group follows - but if the "leaders" do something the rest of the group disagrees with, their tacit support disappears and they either backtrack or are replaced.
The media cannot tell us what to think, only what to think about - by far the most powerful people in our lives are our families, our friends and our team mates. They mean a lot to us, and us to them, and this is where we need to start the process of change.
Though I am hugely grateful to @roemcdermott and @SineadOCarroll for taking a lead, women can't do this for us.
The @SecondCaptains lads can do some of it.
But it's up to the rest of us to take that food for thought that they have given us and convert it into action.
By talking respectfully about women as people, rather than objects to be spit-roasted, and by not being silent when others round us casually use disrespectful terms like slut and whore and bitch, we can change things for the better.

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More from @philipoconnor

Aug 15, 2018
OK, there is a big, big problem here with Web Summit and Le Pen (and no, bros, it's not about "freeze peach").
Either the organiser(s) is/are so dumb that they didn't know in advance what the reaction would be (unlikely, but not impossible), or we've been played. Neither is good.
I (thankfully) hadn't heard one word about the event until this happened, but over the last 24 hours Paddy & his clan (Klan?) have received a vast amount of free publicity before dumping their Nazi headliner at seemingly no cost. And there is no cost - for Web Summit. Others pay.
The people who pay are those subjected to the hatred espoused and enabled by the likes of Le Pen, and be assured that there are not too many tech bros among them. Put simply, they are asked to pay for Paddy's PR campaign while early birds flock to his shitshow.
Read 8 tweets
Aug 11, 2018
Sun is out, so this will be the last thread about this #homelessness thing - buckle up, questioning snowflakes, it’s gonna be harsh:
You are “only asking questions” not because you want to help, but to give yourself a reason for not doing so.
It’s OK, this course of action is as Irish as it gets. This is evidenced by the questions you ask - about the woman, her sexual history, the parentage of her children, her criminal record. You are trying her in the court of public opinion to absolve yourself and society from ...
... the responsibility for helping her, and by extension other people in a similar situation. You are "only asking questions" that lead to the conclusion that it "serves her right" so you can wash your hands of her.
Read 10 tweets
Jul 22, 2018
On this day seven years ago far-right acolyte Anders Bearing Bredvid carried out his murderous rampage in Oslo and Utöya, bombing and shooting children in cold blood.
Rather than react in horror and revulsion, we have allowed his ideas to become mainstream.
Instead of receding, the hatred, the Islamophobia, the racism, the misogyny, the othering and the pure, blind sense of entitlememt and selfishness are not only growing - they have been allowed to become part of our democracies. In Poland, Italy, France, the USA...
Israel, Denmark and Norway itself, the most extreme opinions have been sanitized, homogenized and weaponised against fellow human beings.
The scale of Breivik's callousness surprised me, but not the acts themselves - for years I've seen how hate speech was gradually normalized
Read 8 tweets
Nov 23, 2017
If there is to be an election - and frankly I don’t care whether there is one or not - then the Irish electorate needs to ask itself: Why do these politicians lie to us, again and again and again?
The answer it simple - because you keep electing them, again and again and again.
That is why the banks were bailed out with your money, how the housing crisis because permanent, and why your health service doesn’t work, and your schools are still run by a religious sect that buries children’s bodies in sewers, and the cops are corrupt to a laughable degree.
If you’re a voter, and you vote for them repeatedly, you are not a victim - you are complicit. You perpetuate the hamster wheel of mediocrity and the gravy train for the view. Get some self-respect. Vote them out, and leave them out there. Hold them accountable. All of them.
Read 6 tweets

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