Thread by @IBJIYONGI

#MeToo

A list of things that suck about being a victim of #MeToo:
1. He suffered no consequences
2. He frightens you but you have to act calm and polite around him
3. If people find out, they will attack you and blame you and that will define you. The consequences you suffer will grow.

4. He successfully made you feel like a piece of meat, like that was your whole value
5. A not very valuable piece of meat, even
6. He will be lauded as a barrier breaker, a thinker
7. You will spend your days terrified. And angry. And fighting being terrified and angry.

8. He will suffer no consequences. He will succeed economically. You will know you let him.
9. You will suffer economic consequences: the jobs you can't apply for, the conferences you avoid, the rooms you are afraid to be in. This too is how #equalpay remains a fantasy.

10. There will also be the guilt. What if your silence on this one thing endangers others? Are you obligated to climb up on that cross? Doesn't that make him even more successful at destroying you? But doesn't he win either way?

11. The sickening feeling that "they always win." That is one of many mental stains you can't wash off.
12. And the memories that you can't rinse. And the things that trigger them, like feeling pressured to celebrate him, lest someone think you're a little too unenthusiastic.

13. Never really knowing whether your silence is an act of self preservation or self destruction.

But at least we have this now: #MeToo

Now listening to @itsgabrielleu read her book because also now we have heroes like Ms. Gabi to help us understand how to survive being a survivor. #MeToo becomes #UsToo