Thread by @growflet

Hi there #peaktrans - Today let’s all say FUCK GATEKEEPERS.

Story time, how Trysha first got HRT.

I was a mess. The year was 1995-1996.
I discovered alt.support.srs on usenet and my mind was blown.
I kept it quiet, from everyone. Trans was a thing,
I wanted HRT yesterday, but there was no support, no help, no nothing.

I started asking people for help and was told no. No no no no no.

I couldn’t find a therapist, when I did, they sent me away. I found a support group of 50+ year olds I didn’t pass some test or something, and they vanished into the aether.

It took me almost-four years to get HRT. And when I did it came in a package from overseas. Because that's what I had to do.

And then I got out on my own and moved to Boston.
I found a therapist who would actually talk to me.
And I did _all the hoops_

I was hyperfemme, every session I wore silky professional blouses and skirts like I was going to be a secretary for some executive.

My favorite outfit was a pastel blue top that had a floral lace appliqué around the neck and a black flower print skirt.

I was the girliest trans girl that ever girl'd. But this was easy, because that's what I wanted to be. That's what felt good.

So, after doing all the makeup classes, and doing the marathon 12-15 hour sessions of electro, and showing up weekly for the HBGIDA mandated three months, along with going to the support group, and I was being held up as the Model Child.

I hopped through every hoop that was offered like a good little girl.

I was a good girl, I smiled and tried to make everyone happy.

And others in the support group weren't getting HRT, a few were constantly boy mode, some were GNC. And they sneered and scowled at me.

But If i could help them _be like me_ it'd all be okay for them too!??

I. GOT. MY. LETTER.

And then I went to the endo that my therapist had recommended.

Boy Mode.

It was in the middle of the work day, and I had grown my facial hair out because I had electro-weekend the next day. I was wearing the classic Egg Mode sweat clothes..

I handed the nice NP? my letter, she went over the bloodwork, and levels, and she explained that I'd be put back on what I was taking,

Then the endo came in. He took one look at me, grabbed the NP, and dragged her into the hall and yelled at her for ten minutes.

He didn't look at my bloodwork, he didn't look at anything, no letter, One look, a scowl at me, and that was it. He wrote me a script for a null dosage and told me his plan that would have had me back on spiro in two years.

He didn't even know was doing DIY.

I smiled, and thanked him, and left.

Waste of time. So I kept doing DIY.
Letter in hand for HRT and I kept doing DIY.

Why did the therapist recommended guy not do the thing?

Whatcha wanna bet if I had been ms. secretary, I would have walked out with Spiro and E scripts?

I did get HRT several months later, and there was some drama about it, but that's not important. I got my letters for SRS after seeing the second shrink.

And it does feel legitimizing to have a stamp that says "yes, you are valid, this doctor said so"

But it's utter bull crap. It's sucking up to the jailors so that they'll treat you nice in prison.

When you climb the ladder you extend a hand, you don't pull it up.

If you get through the gate you throw it open.

You don't smile from behind the gate in superiority because you are legit and made it through.

That doesn't make you more valid. That makes you an asshole.

I am just as legit and valid as the sixty year old enby who figured emself out last week despite what #TSRainCrew says.

And I am going to extend my hand to em.

Informed Consent. if you can't do it, do DIY - you can do it safely now!!!!

B-b-but trysha, you need a doctor. Let's talk about doctors, because i've seen a few. Unless they specialize in transfolk they haven't a clue.

The kids on reddit in transdiy know more about HRT than medical doctors.

So the year is 2004, I'm a few years post-op, and I moved. I needed a new doctor. So I go to the local LGBT clinic and see someone.

She wants to see my letter before refilling my hormones.

I have a vagina, and home grown boobs. And yet I am being FREAKING GATEKEPT.

I literally can't even. And since my letter was so old, I had to see a clinic therapist. Fortunately the therapist told the doctor they were being ridiculous.

So she gave me 6mg of estradiol. Post OP.

I took the script, took my 2mg, and then banked the rest because hoarding is good and necessary.

If you need someone to tell you that you are valid, I will tell you that you are good and valid. And I can line up a few thousand more who will back that up.

Hi #peaktrans!

Accepting gatekeeping is being the Uncle Tom of the transworld.

It helps literally no one.