Thread by @UchennaNG

One day I got a DM from Donjazzy saying he loved my story, I almost fainted but I had to remain alive to go verify if it was the original Donjazzy, "it's him!" I said when I verified.

"Thank u🙏" I replied, "Let's meet up" he wrote.

I fainted!

It's Donjazzy Again IDJA

THREAD

I woke up immediately & saw my DM still open, "it's actually real, Donjazzy DM'd me!" I screamed, I immediately replied to say I was available & he texted me where to meet him.

I closed my app, dropped my phone & went to have my bath. While at it I remembered my crush Kemi..

I had been 'toasting' her for 3 months now & I promised myself that once she says yes I'd breakup with Kiki, "Maybe I'll take a picture with Donjazzy & send to her so that she'll like me more" I thought.

I finished having my bath, dressed up, grabbed my stuff & headed out proud.

On the way Progress called, I didn't want to pick so that he doesn't in anyway spoil my meeting with the Don.

He kept on calling & I finally picked

"How far?"

"I dey"

"Where you dey?"

"I dey comot"

"Go where?"

"I dey go see Donjazzy"

"Which Donjazzy"

"Its Donjazzy again"

"Wait, guy you serious!" He asked, "No, na joke!" I sarcastically replied. He told me to call him when I'm with Donjazzy.

"Ok, I go try" I said & hung up!

I finally got to Lekki & found my way to Admiralty, few minutes later I located the place.

"Finally I'll meet Donjazzy"

I got into the lounge & I was sure Donjazzy would be there because it smelt like rich people, I looked inside & saw some people sitting & popping champagne - "that must be Jazzy's table" I thought & walked there.

When I got closer I saw D'prince sitting with a chubby looking man

I smiled as I went closer, "hello" I said to D'prince & I tapped the chubby man who was backing me. "Hi jazzy" I said, the man turned around & to my greatest surprise it wasn't Donjazzy.

"Yes, can I help you?" He said, "Oh sorry, Donjazzy asked me to meet him here" I replied

Oh

"Are you the Uber guy?" He asked, I told him I wasn't & he asked who I was - "I'm Uche" I replied. "Uche who?" He asked, I told him my surname & he couldn't pronounce it, "Mekwe master, tell him mekwe king he will know"

He said Donjazzy wasn't expecting anybody like that.

"Ehn?

I brought out my phone & showed him the conversation between myself & Donjazzy, he believed me. "Ok sit & wait for him" he said, I calmed down & finally sat down.

While I sat down I brought out my phone & called Progress, I told him I was at the venue but I was yet to see Jazzy.

"D'prince dey here with me sha" I told him & he screamed "D'prince is here?!", I told him yes & he said I should give him the phone.

"You no well"

"Ok just tell am say him fan dey hail"

"I go tell am!"

Progress then asked if I'd tweeted about chilling with Donjazzy yet?

Ehn?

"Guy you dey waste time, if na me I go dun call my crush dem since" he said, I asked him what he meant & he said I should call Kemi & tell her I was chilling with Donjazzy; "E go make her gree sharp sharp" he said

I asked him what he meant & he said I should just do as he says!

"How many babes you dey toast?"

"Just 1"

"How many dey toast you?"

"Ehm just 1"

"Ok, call 2 of them, tell them say you dey with Donjazzy. The one wey scream pass na your lover" he said.

I asked him if he was high & he said he was fine, that that style worked for his cousin..

He then told me the story of his cousin who posted a picture with Flavour in Enugu & the girl he'd been toasting said yes immediately, I told him I was yet to meet Donjazzy

"E no mean, na the same thing"

We ended the call & I just concluded that Progress was high

I should lie?

After about 20 minutes there was still no signs of Donjazzy, I wanted to ask D'prince where he was but he was with his girlfriend.

I looked at the other chubby guy I'd mistakened for Donjazzy & he looked back at me fiercely & looked away, I then got a new text so I peeped to see

It was from Kemi, she asked me where I was & I told her I was in a lounge.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing"

She asked how I was just in a lounge doing nothing, I didn't know how to explain the situation so I thought to heed progress's advice.

"Well, I'm chilling with Donjazzy"

"Are you for real?" She asked & I said yes, "it wouldn't hurt to lie a bit" I thought. While I was still texting her I got a call so I picked immediately, it was Kiki my girlfriend & she called with another line.

"I'm busy now, I'm with Donjazzy I'll call you back" I lied

I ended the call & kept texting Kemi, I told her I needed to get back to being with Donjazzy so I closed the app & put the phone in my pocket

Donjazzy finally came out & I stood up to greet him, as I stood to say hi I saw a girl behind him; I looked closer & it was Kemi;

Funke!

I tried to be sharp & act like I didn't see her so I went to Donjazzy, "Hi I'm Uche, I've been waiting" I said

"Who asked you to wait?" Donjazzy asked,

I was shocked! I tried to do a proper introduction so I told him I was the guy from twitter; "the Mekwe King"

"What's Mekwe?"

"Kemi please let's leave here, Prince I dun dey go o" Donjazzy said to both Kemi & D'prince, they stood up & Kemi just walked past me with Donjazzy while D'prince & his girlfriend joined him & left me there

"So Kemi is Donjazzy's girlfriend, & she probably sent the DM o!!"

It was the most sorrowful moment of my life, my chance to chill with Donjazzy & also my chances of getting Kemi to be mine was shattered because I took Progress's advice.

I put myself together, cleaned the little tears in my eyes & left the lounge. On the way progress called me!

I ignored the call & he kept calling, he called about 16 times & finally dropped a text. "I know you're busy but just send me the selfie with Jazzy" he wrote.

I angrily grabbed my phone & called him back, "Guy where you dey since?" He asked & I told him his advice backfired

How

I calmed down & explained to him that Kemi was Donjazzy's girl & it was a prank, "chai! See fuckup!" He screamed.

"I dey enter lag this evening, we go see!"

"No wahala" I said as I dropped the call, I got home; showered & laid on the bed to rest.

Few minutes later Kiki called!

"So because of Donjazzy you couldn't call me all day abi?" Kiki shouted as I picked the call, I didn't even say a word & ended the call.

"Maybe I should seize this as an opportunity to breakup with her" I thought as I was fed up.

Kiki was frustrating me & Donjazzy stole my girl

"Chai Donjazzy has stolen my Kemi away from me" I kept crying, I later laid on the bed to think about my life & future;

"I should probably go & hustle to be rich too & leave all these girls" I concluded

"Yes, that's it" I thought, I went to Twitter & unfollowed Donjazzy first..

While I was reflecting my phone rang, I looked & it was Progress - "Make we meet for our usual" he said as I picked, we were still talking when Kiki started calling..

I hadn't concluded with Progress so I ignored, after the call I got a text from Kiki;

"Its over Uche"

Eziokwu

"Thank you for the relationship, I enjoyed it while it lasted" I replied & dropped my phone, I got up; put on something casual & went to meet up with Progress.

I got to our usual joint & met him at the gate, he started to apologise for ruining my day & reputation

"Its all good"

"I go make am up to you" he said & I asked him how, "I never know how but e sure me die!" He replied. I just nodded & walked in to the bar to sit down, as we were about to grab our chair he sighted 2 girls sitting on a table.

"I dey come" he said & went to approach them

I was not in the mood so I went to sit, few minutes later Progress came back saying we needed to join the girls on their table

"No be man carry them come, na correct babes be these ones" he added, I reluctantly followed him there - met with the two ladies & sat.

"Bar man! Show"

I got talking with one of the girls & we started to connect, we ordered drinks & soon started to cancel bottles - we got some seafood as well & in no time I forgot about Kemi.

Dora (the girl I was with) was calm & funny at the same time, it was a nice evening & I was happy.

We soon finished drinking & it was time to go, Dora asked me where I stayed & I told her - "if it's too far you can sleep over at mine" she said. With the combination of alcohol & spirit of 'yes man' in me I ended up in her house that night.

Progress & Ruth took a different cab.

"Let me get you something" she said as we got in, I agreed & in few minutes she brought a plate of noodles

"Correct"

I took a spoon & she asked I that spoonfeed her, I fed her noodles & we started laughing

Before I knew it I had pushed the table & grabbed each other🤗

Mekwe!!

I made sure to divide the mekwe into 3 sessions; the Heartbreak Mekwe, I don't care about Kemi again Mekwe & most importantly Donjazzy Mekwe!

The night was good & we eventually slept after the summary Samankwe, to avoid catching feelings the next morning I quickly woke up to go!

I ran home & went about my normal life, following week things were normal again until I got a message from Dora, she asked if I'll love to come over; "I'm free, & I made jollof rice" she added

From that point I couldn't think straight again, I left work & ran to her house like

In less than 20 minutes I was at her place sweating, she hugged me like that & asked me in. When I went in she asked if I wanted to shower first or eat, "though I wanna shower" she said - I got the message!

"Shower first" I said

We went to shower together & that was it

Mekwe!

The mekwe this time had no negative vibes, it was filled with positivity & good chills. She cooked Jollof rice & fried plantain for me later that day, we ate it with a pack of cold juice & watched TV together.

The day was filled with moments of 'Mekwenial chilling', a rare day.

I went home feeling refreshed, my mind was free & I realised I could search deeper into my mind for motivation - it was all I'd been looking for & I thought Dora was my medicine.

"What if she's using me?" I thought, because I had a similar experience with Lizzy in Port Harcourt.

I looked at the pointers in my head & realised I was already catching feelings, I decided to drink water & sleep that night. The next day while I was in a meeting she texted & asked if I could come later & I told her I was busy

She said it was fine, I finished my meeting & left!

The next day I decided to tidy a few things & surprise Dora, I finished what I was doing & went straight to her house.

I got to her doorstep & heard laughter from inside her house, "how's she happy when me; her source of happiness isn't with her?" I thought..

"What's going on?"

"Maybe her boyfriend is back?" I thought before I finally decided to knock nonetheless, "who's there?!" Dora screamed with a touch of excitement in her voice😐

"Oh Uche!" She said as she opened, "D baby who's that?" A male voice said from inside;

"I knew it! She was using me!!"

I felt bad immediately but still faked a smile, "Hi Dora" I said - I told her I just wanted to surprise her. "Come in" she said, I my love for her wanted to make me go in but I was scared of being 'friendzoned'

I told her I'd stop on my way back, "I was heading to Ikeja" I lied.

I waved & turned back immediately just to avoid establishing any contact with her boyfriend, "I don't want to be friendzoned" I thought as I doubled up.

I got outside & decided to head back home, "I would never allow myself to be used again" I thought as I went home heartbroken.

I stayed up all night thinking of my losses, "maybe Kiki cursed me" I thought, I tried to sleep but couldn't so I decided to watch music videos

I tuned my tv to Trace & the first video I saw was Timaya & Donjazzy - "I concur"

Donjazzy again?

I turned off my tv & climbed my bed

The next morning I woke up to a message from Kemi, "I how are you doing, there's something I need to tell you" she wrote. "All of your evil plans can't work" I said as I deleted the text, deleted her number.

I further deleted Dora's number & also that of Kiki..

"I'm moving on!"

I went back to my usual life & I stopped picking calls from strange numbers. One day I was working I got a call from Progress:

"I'm not picking!" I thought

He kept calling, I knew he would literally blow up my phone so I picked:

"How far?"

"I dey, I just say make I greet you"

Progress never calls to greet, it's either bad news or not so pleasant news - I told him to tell me why he was calling & he said he was outside my house in a car

"I wan carry you go forget your sorrows" he said

I told him the last time he did this I ended up with "Dora Sorrows"

"No be so, this time there will be no more sorrows" he said, I had to heed him so I agreed. I asked him where & he said it was a place in Lekki.

I stopped what I was doing & went outside to see him, I saw him & the look on his face made me join him.

"Hope say this waka pure o?"

"Na just to chill" he said, I just nodded & joined him. We got in the car & drove off, on the way he kept asking what happened with Dora & I

"Nothing, I've just been busy" I replied, he continued asking what happened that I told him to forget about her.

"Free this matter guy!"

We got to the place & it looked familiar, as I got to the door & saw the bouncer I remembered - "this was where Kemi & Donjazzy embarrassed me" I thought.

I immediately I stepped into the lounge I saw Kemi!

"Hi Uche!"

"You again?! In this same lounge?"

"What's going on here?"

She asked me to calm down & hear her out; "so that you can set me up & embarrass me again?" I said

"Set you up?"

"Yes"

"How?"

"Like you did with Donjazzy your boyfriend the last time"

"Donjazzy isn't my boyfriend!"

"Come again?"

"Donjazzy was my boss & I didn't set you up"

While I stood there surprised Progress walked in, he sat down & asked me to sit down. I sat down & turned to Kemi, she then explained that she was filling in for her cousin while she was on leave - "I don't work with him again"

"But you came out of the hotel room together?"

"It wasn't just us there, we were preparing for a show & I was assisting"

"So why did you use his phone to DM me?"

"I didn't DM you with his phone, I wasn't with the phone & neither was he"

"Wait! You're serious?"

"Yes I am!"

"So who sent the DM since it was neither of you?"

She said she didn't know, she then asked why I lied about being with Donjazzy when she called

"That's not his fault, it's my fault" Progress said, she asked how & he explained how he cajoled me into lying. She looked at me & said she forgave me.

Who was with his phone that day?

While we were still deliberating I heard a familiar voice, I looked back to see who & I saw Dora walking in😯

"D baby!" Progress said as he stood up, she hugged him, tapped Kemi to greet her & faced me

"Uche, so you came" she said, "What's going on here? You know each other?"

"Dora is my cousin, the one I was filling in for with Donjazzy" Kemi said, "are you serious?" I asked - "Yes that's correct" Dora replied.

"How did you know each other?" Dora asked, I told her I liked Kemi until she played me, "shortly before I met you who also played me"

"I didn't play you!" Kemi & Dora said at the same time, Progress sat there drinking his beer without even interfering. "But you used me till your boyfriend returned" I said to Dora

"Boyfriend?! How?"

"Yes, the guy I saw at your place"

"That's my brother!"

"Brother?!"

"Yes!"

She explained that her brother came to visit her & he was gone, "so why was he calling you baby?" I asked & she told me everybody calls her D baby

"I call her D baby too" Progress added & continued drinking his beer, at that point I realised that I had been making assumptions..

"So you're not dating Donjazzy & you were not playing me?" I said to Kemi & Dora & they nodded, I asked Dora why she didn't tell me she worked with Donjazzy knowing fully well I was a big fan

"How she go tell you when you no pick her call?" Progress said & kept drinking again

While I was still there trying to fully understand what was going on one pretty girl walked in, "Mekwe King!!" the girl hailed as she saw me.

I knew it had to be from twitter, I calmed down as I finally felt like I was getting some accolades - "hello" I waved at her

"Hi"

"This is my colleague Esther" Dora said as she asked how she knew me & why she called me "Mekwe King", "this is the guy I always tell you about" Esther replied

"So you're the guy?" Dora asked surprisingly, "you don't know world famous Uche?" Progress asked

"I didn't know o!"

Esther then explained that she'd been trying to meet me but didn't know how, "I even sent you a DM with Donjazzy's phone when I was with it!" She said

"So it's you?!" we all screamed, "yes it, when I came back here that day u were gone"

"Ahh!"

"You send man DM with oga phone?"

"No, I just really wanted to meet Uche & I didn't know when I did it" she said, I asked her why she didn't DM me & she said she thought I would not reply.

"Who tell you?" Progress screamed, "fine girl like you Uche go reply sharply!" He added

I looked at Progress & he kept calm

I told Esther that she didn't have to go through all that, she said she was sorry for all the troubles she caused. I told her I forgave her & she was glad.

I told her she needed to make sure I get to meet Donjazzy for real, she promised to invite when he returned from the UK

Ok

We all decided to sit down & have a drink, few minutes later we started hearing drum rolls - we looked to see what was going & we saw a band of singers carrying drums

They walked into the lounge & created a way for a man who walked in, went to Kemi, knelt down & proposed to her!

"Yes! I'll marry you" she screamed as we all stood & clapped, I was looking like the only confused person there till Progress tapped me

"Guy calm down she dun tell me say she get man na why she no gree for you" he said, I looked at him & he looked serious!

"See your mouth.."

I later understood what was happening so I congratulated her, we all took photos & celebrated with the newly engaged couple.

After we finished drinking Esther asked for my number & I gave her, she said she would call later & I said ok. Progress ordered an Uber & he soon arrived.

As we stepped out we saw Dora, she asked if I was going & I told her our Uber just arrived. She asked if she could join us & I said yes, she looked at me, smiled & said she tried one new 'Igbo soup' & she would like me to help her taste it.

"Oshey" I got the code

"I'll love to"

I told Progress to order another Uber because I had a mission to complete, "as James Bond na" he said - "na you sabi" I replied as I got into the Uber with Dora & we drove straight to her house.

We got out, paid the Uber & went straight inside to eat eba😶

Of course not

Mekwe!

Till today I'm still yet to meet Donjazzy, any of you could help confirm if he has returned from the UK yet 🤗

Meanwhile, thanks for retweeting & reading this exciting episodes of your favourite #StoryTimeWithUche

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TO GOD BE THE GLORY

THE END

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