Thread by @FinalSayForAll

*Quick start guide: Welcome to #BrexitandDragons. Here's a quick guide.

Get some snacks
Follow @finalsayforall
Get comfy
Follow the numbered tweets
Vote in the polls! You have 15 minutes for a regular poll, and 10 minutes each during a BOSS BATTLE.
Have fun!
Please donate!

41. The Chumps made notes, or in D’Davis’ case, made a collage out of spitting tobacco, some leftover pork scratchings and beer mats. Phox was attempting to open his helmut with his sword.

42. Corbynot rose from the table and gathered up his pipe and walking stick. “Nice doing business with you. Good luck,” he said cheerfully. “You’ll need it,” he chuckled under his breath and made his way out of the door.

43. “Can we trust him?” muttered BoJo. “No of course not,” snapped Treeza, “but it’s not like we have anything resembling a plan, so it’s as good an idea as any.” “But what about my innovative jam idea…?” mumbled Phox.

44. “For the last time, Phox, no one is interested in your JAM,” hissed Treeza. “Oh,” said Phox dejectedly. D’Davis gave him a comforting pat on the back. MyGove urinated on a nearby table leg.

45. “So what shall we do with these witnesses?” leered BoJo.

46. “HEEEEEERE’S BOJO!” cried BoJo, cackling like a demented oversized blancmange. He started to work his way through the crowd, slicing and dicing as he went. Treeza motioned the rest of the Chumps to get ready to move out.

47. The Chumps were set to go. They eyed up the blood-soaked BoJo with a mix of disgust and fear. “Well,” said Bojo in a lazy drawl, “we didn’t want witnesses now did we? Look what happened when we let those Windrush villagers off. They only went and blabbed to the town crier.”

48. “It’s cleaner this way,” he smiled. Treeza waved him away like an annoying fly. “Anyway. Let’s be orf”. So the Chumps made their way to their first quest in search of the potion of Sovrintea: to the lair of the haughty and very dangerous Rees Smaug!

49. And so their ridiculous quest began. The Chumps cheerily strode through the lush green lands of Brexitlandia, still unsure where to begin their search. Soon they came across the Larkshirian Dales, a small hill range that looked like a total bore.

50. The heroes encountered a dragon of olive colour, jealously guarding a Magic Money Tree. A top hat balanced on an undersized head. He sneered and spouted nonsense in a posh accent at anyone who tried to get to the Magic Money Tree.

51. Greedy-eyed and foaming at the mouth, Bojo stepped forward, the riding-crop shaped mace he stole from the Academy in his twitching hands. No ridiculous tosh-speaking dragon was going to stop him reaching the tree. Treeza stood back, looking cowed.

52. Showing no restraint whatsoever, Bojo strode forward bellowing at the top of his lungs. He fell over before he reached the beast. Rees Smaug opened his maw and roared: “PURE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION!!" and returned to his vigil.

53. “I will lull this beast with song!!“ D’Davis cheerily cried, and strummed his lute. He suddenly regretted not doing his homework, as he kept missing strings and confusing chords. Suddenly enraged, Smaug screamed “POTTED PLANTS!!“ and breathed emerald fire in their direction.

54. D’Davis raised his lute and the old, smelly wood absorbed the emerald flames. “Well it wasn't a complete waste then!“ he cried with triumph. Smaug was enraged. “THIS IS WHAT PEAK PERFORMANCE LOOKS LIKE!!“ he screamed and charged head first.

55. Tears suddenly streamed from BoJo’s eyes. Bottom lip wobbling, he began to howl. The noise created a column of wind around the dragon, containing it. Screams of “HER RED LINES ARE PINK!!“ could be heard. The Magic Money tree shed a note, which disintegrated in the air...

56. The dragon was contained, roaring nonsense and toff speech to itself for all eternity. But the Magic Money tree withered and crumbled in front of their very eyes. “Well, good thing I told people it didn't exist anyway,“ sighed Treeza. The Chumps nodded and started to leave.

57. But a glint of auburn and brilliant white caught Treeza’s eye as she scanned the stump of the withered tree. “Corbynot was right,” she mused, as she picked it up with her talons. “It IS the Sovrintea, the potion we need for the Rite of B’rexit. How did he know it was here?”

*INTERMISSION

Thank you for sticking with us through that hairy boss!! Please consider visiting finalsayforall.eu and seeing the important work we do. Here is a message about our foundation from @nickynoo007

58. The chumps gathered their belongings and wandered towards a nearby town. BoJo entertained himself by tripping D’Davis up repeatedly and being a general run of the mill pratt. They wandered through an eerily deserted village.

59. “What is this place?” whispered Treeza. Phox coughed with a hint of embarrassment: "This is the village of Windrush, Treeza. You know... the one with people you didn't like the look of so you deported them to a different dimension."

60. They continued walking until they came across an inn called The Old Racist. Treeza nodded approvingly and said “Let’s stop here for the night.” Once inside, they ordered a pitcher of ale. “This calls for a celebration!” she cried and grinned like a demented fool.

61. “CHEERS!” they cried and drank deeply. BoJo knocked D’Davis’ pint surreptitiously with his elbow, spilling it everywhere. Treeza and Phox snorted, trying to stifle their chortles.

62. D’Davis sulked, “Why do you always pick on me, BoJo?” “Because it’s SO EASY,” replied BoJo, grinning like a child tormenting an ant. “Perhaps it’s coz you’re a jumped up no talent peasant,” he smirked.

63. Phox grinned, sheepishly, pleased not to be the butt of the joke for once. D’Davis was about to hurl a lame insult back, when Treeza sighed loudly. The Chumps froze. “Please stop behaving like children. B’rexit is SERIOUS stuff you know.”

64. “You seem troubled My Lady. Perhaps a little ditty…” “NO!” interrupted three voices in unison. D’Davis looked sad and dejected, like a little puppy who’d just been kicked… and Treeza ought to know… kicking puppies was a hobby of hers.

65. “We’ve done well today, Chumps. But we have a long way to go. We should all try to get some rest,” she sighed. The Chumps murmured agreement and rose from their table and made their way upstairs. They didn’t notice the shadowy figure watching them.

66. Treeza had a restless night. She tossed and turned and couldn’t settle. She had nightmares. The Hexperts haunted her dreams. “YOU WILL UNLEASH UNTOLD DOOM!” they boomed in her face, and cackled their haughty laughs.

67. Treeza mumbled “No… no… that’s just FEAR… PROJECT FEAR.” The face of the chairman of the Hexperts leant right into hers and looked her dead in the eyes: “You have no plan, no idea what you are about to unleash… soon our forecasts will ring true. You cannot escape it.”

68. Treeza woke with a start, drenched in sweat. She was shaking. “no…” she said in a small voice. “No.” a little stronger. Then finally “NO!” at the top of her lungs. MyGove crawled up to his mistress to comfort her. She went back to sleep. MyGove let off an ominous fart.

69. The morning came. Treeza made her way down stairs. The night had left its traces on her drawn and grey face. There was a general hubbub downstairs, people talking fast, raised voices, an air of panic.

70. Treeza located Phox. “What’s happening?” she whispered. “OH! MORNING!” he boomed. “SHHHH!” hissed Treeza. Phox lowered his voice and murmured, “Apparently there’s been a rain of fish in the night. Kippers. People are talking about the end of the world.”

71. Treeza gasped. It could not be! Perhaps the Hexperts were right all along. No. NO. B’rexit is what Will O'thepeople has decreed. It HAS to happen. This was just a silly coincidence. All of a sudden, a shriek pierced the chattering of the crowd.

72. “IT’S THEM! IT’S THEIR FAULT!” A young buxom wench pointed with a quivering finger straight at Treeza and Phox. Treeza’s eyes narrowed. “BOJO TOLD ME YESTERDAY! T-T-TOLD ME OF HIS BRAVE ADVENTURE VANQUISHING THE BEAST!” the wench shrieked.

73. Treeza did an epic eye roll and muttered “BoJo...” under her breath. The crowd was beginning to turn on them. Treeza whipped out her wand and shrieked “PARALYSIS KIPPERATI”. The peasants stopped dead in their tracks. “Come, Phox. We must find the others,” she commanded.

74. Bojo was still in bed. Arse hanging out, his pillow full of drool. “BOJO!” boomed Treeza, “What have you been SAYING to your little pretty friend?” Bojo groaned. The memories came flooding back. “Get dressed and meet us downstairs. We need to fix this mess,” Treeza snapped.

75. The Chumps and Treeza came downstairs with bags and equipment. The peasants were still frozen in time. “What should we do with them?” said D’Davis, carefully. “Well we can’t just leave them like this, can we, dumb-dumb?” said BoJo menacingly. D’Davis pretended not to hear.

76. “Well I’ve been working on a song that can erase memories…” started D’Davis. “MATE,” said BoJo loudly, “with YOUR singing, they’re gonna NEED it!” The others cackled and sniggered. MyGove expelled air from his bottom that played a taunting little tune.

77. “BoJo…” said Treeza, sweetly, “may I remind you that we wouldn’t be IN this position if it wasn’t for your constant need to play hide the kipper?” The other Chumps giggled. “Leave it to me, my LADY,” said BoJo in a cocky voice, with as much disrespect as he dared.

78. Should the Chumps…

79. BoJo yelled “MURDER TIME!” and set to work. Phox and D’Davis looked on, distastefully, smacking the odd peasant over the head if they came too close. Treeza attempted a smile and said “Sorry about this. But I’m afraid it’s a sacrifice I am more than willing for you to make.”

80. Having dealt with the peasants, the Chumps went forward towards their next quest, trying not to step on the dead kippers along the way. MyGove nibbled one experimentally and then vomited it back up. And then tried eating it again.

81. BoJo sided up to other Chumps with a cheery grin and his bloodied knife. “Well that takes care of THAT,” he crowed, triumphantly. Treeza rolled her eyes again. In the forest, a dark shadow watched them from afar.

Thank you once again for joining us tonight!! Please come again at the same time tomorrow for Act 3 of #BrexitandDragons!! Also please visit finalsayforall.eu and check out our blogs/stories. It's for a wonderful cause. Also please donate if you can gogetfunding.com/final-say-for-…