Max Is Autistic Profile picture
May 20, 2018 18 tweets 4 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Nobody every gave this talk to me.

Look, we all understand conceptually that rape is bad. Doesn’t mean we understand boundaries, enthusiastic vs revoked consent, or some of the more subtle forms of predatory behavior.
Like, we all understand that Edward Cullen popping into Bella’s bedroom to watch her sleep is creepy as hell, but we don’t understand how Ross Gellar’s entitlement and subtle manipulations are also quite predatory.
I think part of the problem is in film and TV (the most popular fiction of this century for better or worse), the machinations of the male characters always win the girl over. Like, without fail.
When was the last time you watched a show where a man with a long standing interest in someone... well it just never gelled in some capacity? Xander Harris’ affections for Buffy is the only example I can think of, and he’s still an asshole.
How do we internalize is when we see a man always being rewarded for showing an interest in a woman with... that woman reciprocating, albeit after a season of false starts and other love interests?

Yes, there are exceptions. This is true of any general observation.
And you know, telling someone how you feel can be very sweet. It also carries some unspoken expectations and puts a shit ton of pressure on her, but that’s never a problem on TV. It always works out and your love interest will ask herself how to accommodate you if she isn’t ready
Flowers can be sweet (I personally hate them). Flowers can also be manipulative (that’s not why I hate them). Flowers every week with bad poetry after repeated rejections and she hasn’t responded to the last 15 deliveries is harassment.
Of course on TV, women always swoon with a bouquet and poetry written by TV writers after a long day who just want their paycheck.
Like, nice gestures in one context can be quite creepy in another, or when they’re used forcefully. But we are always shown gestures working after the first time with a success rate close to 100.
And if the woman says she needs some time, she always means that very literally, not because she’s not interested and is trying to let you down easy so you don’t shoot her (a legit concern sadly), or she genuinely doesn’t know how she feels and that lines avoids a discussion.
When women do enforce boundaries with men on TV, it is respected. Because the boundaries are never uncomfortable for men, always, “Hey just hold on for three to nine episodes TOPS!”

And when they don’t talk, it’s a short term thing for drama, solved with one heart to heart.
It’s no wonder men have trouble with boundaries and women aren’t comfortable being honest to them (to be fair, honestly to suitors has a quantifiable mortality rate).
We never see boundaries presented as anything more than a temporary inconvenience that really never seems to make the man uncomfortable. Oh, and not relentlessly pursuing her is never presented as a boundary.
It doesn’t help that everyone in the real world very actively encourages this behavior by telling you how sweet you’re being and she will love you if she just sees what a great guy you are, however abrasively.
Or with people constantly telling you what a bitch she is since she couldn’t just be honest and reject you outright, or how short sighted she is for rejecting you since you’re such a great guy.

Seriously, it’s always her fault. This is why I’m very private about that stuff.
I will say that telling someone how I’ve felt has always gone best when

1) We’re already in a relationship

Or

2) I tell her in a way where there’s no expectation that our relationship changes
Sometimes not telling someone how you feel is the best choice you can make.

But opening with the L word is always a shit ton of pressure that women must struggle to politely comfort you despite being put on the spot. And rejecting someone with strong feelings for you sucks.
If you learned something from this thread and want to send me a buck or two as a tip, please go through #DisabilityWishlists and #ShowUpForWishes and send someone there a few bucks. The latter was created by @showupforthis who inspired the original tweet.

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More from @MaxieMoosie

Aug 1, 2018
Reminder that literally every argument supporting the straw ban has been countered by individuals who need straws. Every single one of your ostensibly helpful suggestions has already been addressed ad nauseam.

You just refuse to look for it.
"Buy your own straws."

Yes, one extra thing you have to remember to carry just so you can enjoy activities ableds like me don't think twice about. And it's yet another tax for being disabled.

Also, I'm hearing about environmentalists literally snatching straws out of hands so..
"Silicone or metal!"

Silicone is really hard to clean, metal conducts heat very well making it useless for hot drinks, and if you have Parkinson's, metal is a safety hazard even with cold drinks.
Read 8 tweets
Jul 8, 2018
I'm going to do an evening #AnswerMeThis. It's 9pm here, or 2100 if you're mathematically civilized.

Tonight's theme: be a curmudgeon!

Remember to QT your answers. I may not RT all of them just because it gets to be a bit much, but I'll try and RT a few.
1) What is one thing everyone enjoys that you hate?
2) What is a second thing everyone loves that you hate?
Read 11 tweets
May 24, 2018
Part of my job involves hiding a microphone on a person to capture what they're saying. These are small radio microphones that I have to hide under clothing as well as the radio transmitter.

I also have to tape it down carefully so it doesn't pick up the sound of fabric rubbing.
Today I had to mic up a model. She was wearing a single piece very thin dress and no undershirt or bras. She also didn't have pants or a separate skirt to clip the transmitter to.
I offered her a choice of a thigh or waist strap for the transmitter. She went with the waist, which involved having to unzip the back of her dress and thread that through.
Read 9 tweets
Dec 6, 2017
There’s been a lot of huppluh today about the changes to Patreon’s transaction structure. The TLDR is creators will lose a lot of lower tier patrons.
This will affect the one dollar pledged mostly, which seems trivial but they add up and often people making those pledges are themselves strained, so an extra 38 cents per creator adds up.
Like, if you support ten people at the one dollar level, it’s an extra 3.80. While it sounds trivial, I cannot stress how a lot of people in that payment range are pledging a buck because finances are tight.
Read 25 tweets
Nov 18, 2017
So I just saw a thread where a white woman was asking why natives didn't domesticate moose the same way Europeans domesticated horses.

Because they are fucking moose.
There are six criteria for domestication of any animal in a pre-industrial society. Any candidate has to fit all six. Moose fit two.
The first two criteria: an animal has to not be a picky eater, preferably eating something that is widely available like grass.
Read 35 tweets

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