Thread by @UchennaNG

I got a mail one day & hoped it was from this IT firm I'd applied to for a Procurement expediter role, I looked & luckily it was them!

"Yaay!!" I screamed when it read that I passed the aptitude test & should get ready for the interview.

Biggie Biggie! Heavy Heavy! 😭

Thread

I was working with a shipping agency in apapa but needed a proper job so I hoped that I got it, the next day I lied to my boss that grandmother's best friend died; & that I was her god son, & there was a ritual I needed to do.

Luckily he believed & let me take few days off..

On my way home I got to oshodi & there was a gridlock, a tanker fell on the road so there was no movement. I thought of what to do, I brought out my phone & opened my WhatsApp

"How far?" KK sent about an hour ago, I replied him & he said he was stuck in traffic

"Oshodi own abi?

"Yes but I dey relax for one joint" he replied, I asked where, he told me & I eventually met up with him. When I got there I saw him sitting with someone else, I looked closer & I couldn't have been wrong

"Progress again?" I thought as I moved closer, "guy na everywhere you dey?

I asked him what the issue was when I realised he wasn't happy, "Guy I dun taya, this taxi work dun taya me" he said. Progress had taken his aunt's car to start a taxi business while he was waiting for a proper work.

"I dey even sick sef & I never really make money" he added

I tried to console him by telling him he was doing good, I told him he made more money than me & he looked at me. KK told him to relax, gave him some money to buy drugs with.

"You no go fit drink be that na?" I asked Progress, he looked at me; smiled & called the bar man

"Show"

He ordered 2 big bottles of stout, we all laughed, ordered our drinks, drank & discussed.

I told them about my interview & they wished me goodluck, "you go get the work, but the girls there go hear am" Progress said, we laughed, drank & later went home when the traffic reduced.

The day for the interview came & I woke up as early as 4am, luckily there was light so I re-ironed my clothes & re-polished my shoes. I then went to YouTube to watch videos on how to excel at job interviews

I later had my bath & stepped out around 6am, I got to oshodi by 6:30am

My interview was by 10am but I wanted to be early so that I could acclimatise with the office environment, I didn't get a BRT on time so I found a Danfo going to Ajah & decided to enter since the company was at Lekki.

Few minutes later the bus got filled & we were set to go.

The driver tried to start the bus but it didn't so he asked his conductor to push it, passengers began to grumble but he down played their concerns by saying it was a minor issue.

The conductor then pushed the bus & it came on & we drove off till we got to 3rd mainland bridge..

The bus started to jerk & the passengers started to scream, "kilo n sele?!" One woman screamed! I wasn't scared before but I immediately became worried.

Suddenly! The bus stopped in the middle of the bridge by 6:55am!

"Ahh!! Oloriburuku ti koba wa!" This woman screamed again!

The 'oloriburuku' vibe soon went round as passengers took turns to rain curses on the driver, I remained calm & hoped it could be fixed on time so we could continue

Few minutes later the driver told us that he couldn't continue the trip, the conductor started to return our fares

"E no go better for your mama!" One of the passengers screamed, the driver & passengers also insulted him & they started to exchange blows

I managed to drag out my money, I left the scene to wait for another bus but I didn't get; none was stopping.

"What kind of devil is this?"

As I stood across the road I noticed a broken down car on the other lane heading back to the mainland, a last stood in front looking distressed & nobody was stopping to help her.

She keeps punching her keypads & placing the phone in her ears, the place looked lonely & dangerous.

I looked at my time & I had about an hour to be at the interview, I decided to help so I crossed over to the other lane.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked when I approached her, "I don't know o, the car has refused to start" she said. I asked to have a look & she opened the door.

I opened the ignition & noticed the car wasn't coming on, I opened the bonnet & hit the battery head & tried it again.

"Thank God! Thank you very much!" She screamed as the car came on, I told her it was okay & hurriedly ran to the other lane.

I found a bus immediately & left..

I finally got to the company & went in, in about an hour I went in for my interview. It was a tough one but I managed to give it my best shot, few minutes after we finished they asked me & 2 others to stay behind

As I sat down to wait I got a call from Progress.

"How far?"

I was talking to Progress when a lady approached us & told the three of us to come back the next day to face the Executive Committee, I ended the call, went home to get prepared for the interview.

The next day I came back for the final interview, I got there & sat down to wait..

It was soon time for the one on one interview & the other guys went before me, they all went in & came out tensed.

It was soon time for my interview & I stood up tensed, I walked to the interview room & as I opened the door I saw the lady I helped with her car the other day!

"Hello, good day" I said as I walked in, luckily she immediately recognised me & asked me to sit. She thanked me before we started the interview & it ended up being the easiest interview of my life.

She asked me a few professional questions & some personal questions & I answered

The interview ended & she asked me to expect a feedback soon, I thanked her & left. The next day I resumed at my current office.

That same day my boss decided to pay us salary arrears of 3 months, "we promise not to owe going further" he said.

As he was talking I got a mail..

"Congratulations, you have been offered the.." the mail read & I didn't know when I screamed out "yes!"

My boss asked me why I said yes" & I told him I got admitted for my Msc program in the U.S, I opened my laptop & immediately started typing my resignation on Microsoft word..

While I was typing I paused to call my parents & siblings to tell them about the good news, I also called KK & Progress to tell them about it.

They were all happy for me, Progress told me that he just signed up as a driver with an online taxi company

"Congratulations"

"Thanks"

I resigned that week & resumed at my new job the following week, I had gone shopping the weekend before to get new clothes with the salary arrears I received.

My new office was more conducive & cozy. I immediately settled in & tried to familiarize myself with my new colleagues..

I was sharing office with another guy who put me through a few protocols, I tried to ask him about the lady that interviewed me & he immediately said it was 'Fade' after I described her.

"She's team lead for HR so she filled in for her boss, I guess that's why she interviewed u"

Later that evening Tobi my new friend went home early, he said he had church service to attend. Immediately he left I heard a knock on my office door.

I wanted to say "come in" but the person came in immediately, as I raised my head to see who it was - there stood Fade smiling..

I looked at her & was blown away, she was a no make-up wearing nerd with chocolate skin - "how are you doing Uche?" She asked, I told her I was fine.

She came closer, sat down & we got talking. She was a very hardworking girl who had achieved a lot at a young age.

"See babe o!"

"I hope you're enjoying your new office?" She said with a smile, I told her I was - "Thanks to you" I added. She asked why I was thanking her, "I should be thanking you for saving my life" she added - "are you in a hurry after work?" She asked

"Not really"

"Ok, dinner?"

"Sure"

She said she would come get me when she closed, I told her it was perfect - I asked for her name officially & she said I should call her 'Fade' as she left..

"Dinner already? I think I just bagged the best job ever" I thought as I tidied up what I was doing & waited for Fade..

Fade soon finished & we headed to a bar in VI, "there's this place we can eat & drink" she said & I told her it was perfect.

We soon got to this bar & we ordered drinks, food & talked all evening. We knew we were both tipsy when it was time to go, "I can't drive drunk" she said.

I asked her where she stayed & she said it wasn't too far, I then told her I could driver her home then find my way home.

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Oh thank you"

We got into the car & she directed me to her house as I drove, in less than 10 minutes we were at her house.

"We're here!"

We got out of the car, I thanked her for a good time & she asked if it wasn't late for me to go home.

"I should get a bus home" I replied

"You can go from here tomorrow, besides I don't bite"

"It's my 1st day & besides I don't have a change of clothes"

"..My ex is your size"

She convinced me that her ex's clothes in her wardrobe would fit, I agreed & we went in. We got in & she brought a glass of red wine from the fridge & we drank

We soon shifted base to her room & I saw zule zoo performing 'kerewa' live so I had to obey the clarion call..

Mekwe!

Fast forward..

The next day at work I was in the office with Tobi & Fade walked in, she saw us talking & just smiled, waved at us & left.

"She here for you?" Tobi asked & I said "maybe", "be careful with her"

"How?"

"Just be careful"

While we were talking the intercom rang!!

"Someone is here to see you"

"Who?"

"He said he's name is Progress"

I dropped the call & went to the reception to see Progress, "Uchman the hitman!" He screamed & I signalled that he should bring down his voice.

"Ok, but una office fine"..

I sat with him & we got talking..

While were talking Fade came by & was looking sad, "this fine girl go fit you, but why she dey vex" Progress said - I looked at Fade & asked her what the issue was.

She explained that her car broke down & her mechanic came to carry it, "I'm just thinking of the stress I'll face"

I saw it as an opportunity so I whispered to Progress to help take her home, "he can take you home if you don't mind" I said - "really?" She asked & I said yes.

She became excited & excused herself to go get her bag, when she left I gave Progress some cash & told him to hype me.

I told him to say nice things about me while he drove the girl so that she'll like me, "no worry guy, you no get wahala" he replied. Fade soon came back, smiled at me & I smiled back

"This is Progress" I introduced them, they exchanged pleasantries..

"You're safe with me Angel"

She asked if I was going with them & I told her I had some work to tidy, "don't worry you're in safe hands" Progress said again.

"Later na" I said to Progress as they stepped out

I went back to my office, finished what I needed to do then went home. Later that night Fade called

She thanked me for helping her & told me she got her car back, I told her it was my pleasure - "I also heard a lot about you" she added & I acted surprise

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Good or bad?"

"Well, we'll find out"

Our call soon ended & I went to bed, the next day I went to work..

When I got to work I climbed upstairs & noticed this new girl, she was plus sized & had nice curves.

"Who's this African queen?" I thought as I moved closer to her, smiled & said hello.

She responded with a smile back, I told her my name & asked for hers.

"My name is Emem"

Oh

"Nice name"

"Thanks"

I asked if she was new & she said she wasn't, "I've been on leave" she added. "I'm the new one here then" I said & we both laughed, while we were laughing I suddenly noticed Fade come close..

"Hi Uche"

"Hi Fade"

I excused myself from Emem & went to Fade!

"You look beautiful" I said & she blushed, "thank you & be careful" she said, I asked her what she meant & she said I should just be careful.

"Ok Angel" I said with a smile as I went to my office, when I got to my office I saw Tobi & said hi to him.

"Ushena! How far?"

"I dey!"

I went to attend to work for the day, while I was working I got a message from Fade asking if I would like to have dinner with her later that night.

"Dinner again?" I thought, I didn't know if it was love or the Mekwe I liked but I agreed to go..

Later that day progress called!

"Oboy I dey carry one client from Ikeja go Ajah" he said, "the mumu man dey shit inside bush" he added. He complained that man had been farting in his car, I laughed at him & then told him to stop by at our office.

It was soon time to close & I stepped out, on the way I saw Emem

"Hi Emem" I said as I stopped, she smiled & we got talking, she told me she heard that I'm the hottest guy around now.

"Hot?! How?" I asked, she said other colleagues said Fade the saddist has been happy since I resumed work there.

"You must be doing something right" she added

I was still trying to decipher what she meant when I saw Fade come out, I quickly excused myself from Emem & went to her.

"Don't talk to me" she said, I asked her what the problem was but she angrily walked away. As soon as she walked out I saw progress come inside the office!

"Why your baby dey para?" He asked, I asked him how he was able to get in through the reception

"Una receptionist na my latest queen" he added, I just nodded & told him Fade was angry at me. As we were talking Emem came closer to us with her bags - "hey guys, I'm leaving"

"Oh!"

"This is a queen!" Progress said to me, "she's so beautiful & she fits you" he added. I looked at Emem & she was blushing, I then started to see her in a finer light.

"She's actually very beautiful" I thought, I just smiled & asked her where she lived.

"Ajao Estate"

"Really?"

"That's where he stays too, you guys are meant to be" Progress said, he told us he'll drive us home

"That'd be cool" Emem said, we all left & joined Progress in the car. Few hours later we got to Ajao, I asked Emem if she lived with her parents

"Yes, But they travelled"

I see

She said staying at home could be scary & that her parents would be away for 2 weeks, "you can sleep in Uche's house, isn't he your king?" Progress replied

I looked at her & nodded to signal that I didn't mind, she paused for a minute & said "Ok".

"Ok?"

"Let's go to yours"

Ok

We ended up in my house that night, Progress drove off & I went in with Emem. I cooked her my special noodles & she went inside my room to change, few minutes later the noodles was ready so I took it to the room

"I'm sorry" she said when I went in, I asked what she was sorry for

I broke your bed" she said, I looked & realised that the wood under my bed had broken.

"I just sat on it & it broke" she said, I wanted to cry because it was a new bed but I faked a smile & told her it was ok.

She smiled, took the noodles, ate & we later slept

And yes!

Mekwe!

The Mekwe was good, even though it felt like I was on a bouncing castle at some point - We woke up the next morning & she said she didn't feel like going to work.

"I'll call in sick" she added, I didn't know how to react - I just prepared & went to work, at work I saw Fade again

I tried to talk to her but she just ignored me & passed, I stood there confused & worried that I started to evaluate what my offence could've been.

I went to my office with a worried face & when I got to my office I saw Tobi, he asked me what the issue was & I said "nothing"

I tried to focus on my job & I realised I couldn't, "why am I so worried about Fade, am I in love with her?". While I was wondering Tobi tapped me; "Ushena", I gained consciousness & responded

He persuaded me to open up, I finally told him Fade was ignoring me & I was worried..

"Don't be worried o, be happy" he said, "you just escaped a bullet" he added - I asked him what he meant & he said Fade uses & dumps 'people', "she used me & dumped me" he added

"Is that so?" I asked & he said yes, "no wonder?!" I screamed & he asked 'no wonder what?"

We Mekwed

"Tell me it's not true!"

"It's true!"

"You're another victim"

"Cheii!"

"Don't worry I know how you feel, don't feel too bad"

"Thanks"

"No problem, you just have to stop talking to her henceforth"

"That would be hard"

"Hard? Why?"

"I think I'm in love with Fade"

"Love?"

Tobi asked how I could be in love with 'a girl like Fade' & I just kept quiet, why we were talking our overall boss walked in with a paper in his hands

"Tobi!"

"Sir!"

"If u tell me you made this error I'll make sure you're fired!"

Tobi begins to shiver, he couldn't speak too.

"I was the one that made the error sir, I thought that balance was to be paid to DK Ventures" I lied. The boss looked at me & asked why it was signed by Tobi & I told him I was preparing the invoice before Tobi took over.

He looked at me for a few seconds, shakes his head & said

"Please don't make this type of error again Uche!" he said & walked away. Tobi looked at me & started to thank me, I was going to say "thank you" when I heard a knock on the door!

"Come in!" I said, the door opened & the person walked in; I looked to see who it was..

Progress!!

"Don't worry my queen let me in" he said, "I have good news" he added - I asked him what the news was & he said he just signed up with TAXI SALAM

I asked what it was & he said it was an online Taxi company that offers drivers plenty benefits like health insurance

"Really?"

He said that their commission isn't high & their app is easy to use, "tell any of your guy wey need work say make dem become Taxi Salam Driver" he added.

"Congratulations"

"Thanks"

While he walked in properly I got an email from HR, "TGIF holds this Friday"

"Yaay!" I screamed

Fast forward..

The day for the TGIF was here & we went from our offices to party, everybody looked fine in their party clothes & the drinks made us happy..

It was soon time to dance & I saw Emem; I thought it would be nice to dance with a plus sized girl so I walked towards her

I grabbed her hands & she responded well so we got dancing, every other person were dancing so I didn't notice Fade walk towards me until she tapped me & said "excuse me Uche, we need to talk"

I got a bit scared, "am I in trouble I thought" as I excused myself & left with Fade!

"Uche why have you decided to disgrace, ridicule & embarrass me?" She asked as we got to a corner, "I'm confused, weren't you the one who used me & dumped me?" I asked

"Used you?" She asked, "yes, just like you used Tobi" I replied, "Tobi keh? That womanizer?!" She asked

"How?"

"He'd been toasting me since & I said no, I told him I liked you" she replied, "I can't be with a guy that has been with all the office girls" she added.

I wanted to think about the Mekwe with Emem & hers with Tobi but I just said "ojoro cancel" & asked why she snubbed me;

Why?

She said she was hurt when she saw me with Emem, "I was wondering how you chose that IT girl over me" she added.

"But she's in finance"

"Yes but she's on industrial training"

"Emem is on Industrial Training?"

"Yes, you didn't know?"

"No"

"Oh! Even Tobi is an IT student too"

It was the most shocking news I ever heard, "so I was being played?"

I looked into her eyes, saw love & calmed down, I asked why she didn't tell me she loved me & she said she was "scared of rejection!"

"I'm the one who was scared of rejection"

"How?"

"Because I love you too"

I grabbed her by the waist & kised her, she kissed me back & said she loves me too. As we were kissing I saw Tobi so I quickly stopped him to confirm what I heard

"Tobi, just tell me the truth; is it true?"

Tobi started to cry, I asked him why he was crying

"I'm sorry"

"For?"

He seriously apologised for trying to set me up with Emem 'cos he wanted Fade, "you saved my IT the other day & I realised I was being wicked" he added.

"So you're an IT student?"

"Yes. Emem too"

"So it's true?"

Fade begged me to forgive them

"If you say so baby"

"Yes baby"

I told Tobi that he & Emem were forgiven, I grabbed my Fade & went back to the dance floor to have a good time. Minutes later I saw Chichi the receptionist dancing with a guy, I looked closely & it was Progress!

"When you reach here?"

"I came to dance with my queen"

"Bad guy!"

THE END

Thanks for reading & retweeting today's episode of #StoryTimeWithUche

Today's episode is brought to you courtesy; Taxi Salam @TaxiSalamNG

Please visit my likes and pinned tweets for previous episodes of #StoryTimeWithUche

DM is open for any sort of enquiry

With Taxi Salam you get maximum reward and benefit as a rider, to register as a rider please follow this link taxisalam.com/nigeria.html

#DriveWithTaxiSalam

Taxi Salam (@TaxiSalamNG) is also present in Ethiopia and Saudi Arabia, the user experience for customers are next to none.

Feel free to follow and send them a DM for further enquiries, either to register as a rider or how to enjoy their services as a rider.

The latest EP by The Magic (@itsthemagic1) is out now on SoundCloud, if you love good music I would really advice that you have a look at this m.soundcloud.com/itsthemagic/se…

Listen & share! #TheMidnightZone #TMZ

Remember to lease heavy equipment and vehicles online from @VerbNG