2) Really, people started learning how out government works the minute Trump got elected. Its how we found out the DAG, not the AG, is in charge of the FBI.
Oct 7, 2018 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Did Infinity War get you down? Did you skip Ant-Man and Wasp because of that Marvel funk?
Go see Venom.
Seriously. Go see it.
The villain is basically a more affable version of Elon Musk. It is fantastic.
Not as much poop and needle piles in San Francisco as in real life, but I’m ok glossing over that bit of the setting.
Oct 7, 2018 • 26 tweets • 11 min read
QUESTION! I have a question!
Why should anyone kowtow to a mob who called them a woman drugging alcoholic gang rapist? What does that do besides giving into an angry mob that could be on your doorstep next? That HAS been on your doorstep since day 1 in @jordanbpeterson’s case?
@jordanbpeterson I mean, should Jordan Peterson stop writing books, step down from teaching, and completely withdraw from his social life and career because an angry mob is calling him a sexist racist homophobic transphobic superbigot?
Oct 7, 2018 • 16 tweets • 2 min read
1) There’s that word again. ‘Legitimacy.’ Mark my words: every ruling the Supreme Court makes the left doesn’t like from this point on will be declared illegitimate.
2) The left will use this as an excuse for further lawlessness as they proceed to act AGAINST the rulings of the SCOTUS.
Oct 6, 2018 • 9 tweets • 3 min read
So, I’m going to try something. I’m going to attempt to dilute the unspoken rules of conservative Twitter into a few easy to follow guidelines.
Rule 1) Thomas Wictor did nothing wrong, much like every other conservative Twitter has ever banned.
Oct 6, 2018 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
Are y’all done waiting? Good. What I was going to say:
Twitter is FAKE.
The minute by minute drama ks FAKE.
The stories of flashes in the pan are FAKE.
NOTHING YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT ON TWITTER IS IMPORTANT.
Past weeks, I’ve said, relax. Its all good. We already won.
Probably. Gets shoved in my face, I probably did see it. My attitude didnt change.
“BUT WHAT ABOUT-“
Did you not hear me the first time motherfucker?
Oct 5, 2018 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Alright, bourbon’s got me fired up. I’m pissed.
All you naysayers, fucking fearmongers, “MEHHHHHHHHH MUH GOPEEEEEEEEEEEE”, I got one thing to say
Oct 4, 2018 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
1) They have the votes. EVERYTHING we have seen thus far about who’s a yes and who’s a no is wishcasting and wild inferences. Everything is kabuki theatre, just breathless coverage trying to be the first to tweet about the latest twist in the reality show.
2) Fact: the only two ever up in the air were Collins and Murkowski. McConnell moved ahead because he secured one or both of their yes votes.
Oct 2, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
1) So, random question for everyone.
3 journalists write an article. None of them have any experience with articles about finances, and virtually all of them have solely written about corporate and government politics their entire careers. NONE have any accounting/tax background
2) Yet these three chucklefucks think they found the bombshells in 20 year old tax records they got a hold of that are without a doubt incomplete, because OH BTW they're dealing with MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN ASSETS.
Again, NONE of them have any accounting or tax backgrounds.
Oct 2, 2018 • 18 tweets • 4 min read
1) The Last Jedi, like Avengers: Infinity War, is one of those rare movies that I've come to hate the more I think about them. I hate them as I notice the glaring bullshit, and that hate compounds when I realize that I felt basically tricked into liking those movies.
2) Let's start with the Last Jedi. When I first watched it, I laughed, because I thought the whole subverting expectations shtick they were doing was great. The heroes keep fucking up and can't do anything right, the villains were villainous, competent, and cunning
Oct 2, 2018 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
1) YOU BEGGED FOR IT
YOU PLEADED FOR IT
SO HERE IT IS
BREAKING FUCKING NEWS FROM THE
TWITTER!!!!! 2) My source from the Banana News Network came in from the cold a few days ago with word of happenings soon. He was ragged, having been on the run for months after the last shitshow where I may have gotten him fired. He was given a warm blanket and a cup of diet coke
Oct 2, 2018 • 15 tweets • 6 min read
1) The two squared off on rubber mats, shirtless, @fridgeintern with just his dress slacks on wielding a pair of diet coke cans attached to opposite corners of a six pack ring, twirling them around like nunchucks, while Kavanaugh stood relaxed with a slight gut and an LIT in hand
@fridgeintern 2) Leaning against the wall, Trump and McConnell sensei waited and watched, McConnell’s nose with a thin layer of white powder covering it and a wild look in his eyes. “BEGIN!” He shouted in a booming excited voice.
Sep 30, 2018 • 24 tweets • 9 min read
1) Ye’s going to stir up some shiiiiiiiit with this 13th amendment talk, buuuuuuuut in typical Yeezy fashion, there’s what he’s saying, then there’s what people THINK he’s saying.
2) In 2016, the Cocaine Gambit which is what I shall call Mitch McConnell’s maneuvers to hold open Scalia’s former seat was conceived and executed for the first time in history.
Sep 29, 2018 • 10 tweets • 15 min read
Twitter is enemy territory. On here, the leftists outnumber the right, they abuse the mechanics, and the engineers and admins behind the scenes are all rabid leftists. @Project_Veritas and @JamesOKeefeIII showed us as much.
@Project_Veritas@JamesOKeefeIII We are the beachhead at Omaha. We land here under the most hostile conditions a conservative can face on social media because someone has to remind those fascist fucks that they aren’t the only people in the world allowed to have an opinion.
The Democrats blitz out accusations and hope to remove opponents before they can be thoroughly reviewed.
It is why they recycle their tactics and use the same one several times in succession. EVERY. TIME.
@ThomasWictor 2) It is why I made the #fudgerule. Because if you give a bombshell story or a new accusation or some scurrilous horseshit 2 days of air, it will literally burn out and collapse into ash.
Sep 28, 2018 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
1) Deep in the offices of the FBI at Washington DC, two tired and forlorn FBI agents sat with their head in their hands, shuddering as the news came over the TV that the Senate was requesting a one week 'probe' into 'any existing credible allegations.'
2) "Jesus fucking CHRIST, Matt, they want us to do WHAT?!? We already looked into this shit! They already have statements! What the fuck do they want us to do, collect statements saying the same thing AGAIN?!?" One of them burst out, almost sobbing.
Sep 28, 2018 • 29 tweets • 5 min read
1) Behold, the first, and the last, beneficiary of the storm of fake accusations tactic.
2) Its a clever little strategy to keep a candidate's hands clean. They let 'unaffiliated' operatives like journalists, lawyers, and Dem party strategists run these smear campaigns, while the candidates themselves just have to sit idle watching their opponents polls tick down.
Sep 27, 2018 • 25 tweets • 5 min read
1) “No, Trudeau, you DON’T get a White House visit. I don’t give a fuck you left your moose stuffie here when you and Obama had that sleepover in 2016, you don’t get it back until you tell your trade rep to give up the milk quotas!”
2) Trump slammed the phone down on the oval office desk, motioning for Fridge Intern to hit him up with a diet coke.
“So Trudeau’s still being a whiny little shitnugget,” Rosenstein chuckled from his armchair as Trump sat down heavily on the couch.