Story time! Let me tell you all the tale of a badass lady that was SO BADASS NO ONE BELIEVED SHE WAS AS BADASS AS SHE WAS. And by no one, I mean MEN, and by badass, I mean A POLYGLOT-MATHEMATICIAN-SCIENTIST-POET-SCHOLAR-GENIUS-LADY in 16th century England.

Let's go! Margaret More Roper was born in 1505, daughter to Sir Thomas More, who is still pretty popular today. If you're Catholic, you know him as a saint. If you're a college student, you know him as the dude who wrote Utopia. If you watch The Tudors, you know him as this guy:

Okay...I'm losing focus on my writing and I need a break...so let me tell you the story of a real badass lady from the 17th century who not only famously prosecuted a rapist but later EARNED A LIVING BY PAINTING PICTURES OF WOMEN KILLING BAD MEN (and other sundry subjects). Artemisia Gentileschi was born in Rome around 1593-ish. Her dad was a famous painter who studied under the even more famous Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio who painted amazing shit like this:

(This is Judith cutting the head off of the antisemitic asshole Holofernes)

I've had half a bottle of wine, and I fucking love history, so let me tell y'all about how Lady Margaret Russell outsmarted the patriarchy not just in the 16th century but FOR FOUR HUNDRED MOTHERFUCKING YEARS. She was badass. Pour yourself a glass and follow along, my peeps. Lady Margaret Russell was amazeballs. She was super rich and well-educated. Hell, she EVEN STUDIED AND WROTE ABOUT ALCHEMY AND SHIT. Fab lady. Very kind. Ended up marrying the 3rd Earl of Douchebaggery, Lord George Clifford. Just look at this asshole.

Many of the actions taking place right now in Trumpville are huge security risks to our nation. I should know: I used to work side by side with intelligence officers and analysts as part of a research assistantship. (thread) I'm not claiming to be intel or ex intel, BTW. I just had a lot of good conversations with these folks, including advisors to past presidents and dude's with 30+ years in the VIA. Today's events bring up a lot of these old conversations for me in alarming ways. /2

THREAD: With #MarchForOurLives around the corner, I've been thinking about the amazing teen activists. It reminds me of the true story of a badass average teenage girl who single-handedly took on an insanely popular but powerfully misogynist asshole in 1615. 2. So there was this guy in England, a real man's man named Joseph Swetnam. The guy was scary. He literally write the book on fencing and was thought to have taught the most powerful men in the kingdom how to fight. He was really into weapons. You just didn't mess with this guy.