Editor at large @thedailybeast. podcasting @newabnormalpod & Wife of @Mattgreenfield & mother of @woketeenageson
3 added to My Authors
Oct 9, 2018 • 5 tweets • 3 min read
This is my son. He’s a large adult holding an enormous gun. Sometimes he kills elephants for fun. Is he even divorced yet? He thinks he’s the future of the Republican Party. He once dmed with Julian Assange. #HimToo
This is my son. He had five kids but this is not his wife. #himtoo
Oct 8, 2018 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
He’s so shrill.
He should smile more
Oct 8, 2018 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Charlie Kirk accusing someone of getting bad information is my favorite ironic irony.
Charlie Kirk mansplaining feminism to @taylorswift13 is my favorite Clusterfuckery
Oct 7, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
I’m old enough to remember when they told us Trumpism wouldn’t be so bad and that Ivanka would be a moderating force and that we were being hysterical for nothing. We weren’t hysterical. We were right.
Oct 5, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
“I am an independent impartial judge.”
“I am an independent impartial judge.”
Sep 28, 2018 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Ted Cruz wants us to know that women who are sexually assaulted ruin men’s lives.
But Mark Judge doesn’t want to be interviewed because he’s a recovering alcoholic
Governmenting is fun!
“When daddy gave me a job that I had no qualifications for I had some misgivings but it’s basically just going to parties and poising for photos.”
Sep 16, 2018 • 8 tweets • 1 min read
This woman is risking everything to do what’s right. Will the right try to ruin her life? washingtonpost.com/investigations…
Right now Brietbart probably has someone riffling thought her kitchen trash.
Aug 30, 2018 • 13 tweets • 6 min read
It’s Wednesday and that means it’s time for the stupidest, most mind-numbing, most horrific, most moronic, most absurd events of the week, and this week was a virtual cornucopia of stupid. #theweekinstupid1. Osteopath Doctor Kelli gets the top spot with her conviction that John McCain decided to stop treatment for his brain cancer to mess up her chances in her primary. abc15.com/news/national/…
Aug 27, 2018 • 10 tweets • 3 min read
You guys. I have news.
Look man, who am I to say no to fame and fortune?
Aug 25, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Bet you can’t tell who the host is.
Also why is Junior unable to sit? @ashleyfeinberg
Aug 24, 2018 • 12 tweets • 4 min read
Welcome to my semiannual “Dumbest events of the week” thread. Please know that my highly important scientific work will be both in the library of Congress and The Hague where it will be used to torture war criminals and unclog sinks.
1. Why use federal funds to buy something as pointless as books when you can use that money for guns! Ditzy Devos wins the top spot on the list of the stupidest crap of the week. circa.com/story/2018/08/…
Aug 15, 2018 • 17 tweets • 7 min read
Welcome to my thread of the 10 dumbest events of the week. Some of these events are funny, some of them are tragic but all of them are deeply and truly stupid. #tendumbesteventsoftheweek
Trump invited a bunch of bikers, including one who had an “I love guns and titties” patch on his leather jacket to Trump’s private golf club in New Jersey. Needless to say hilarity ensued.
Aug 14, 2018 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
I’ve discovered who the dumbest of the Trump kids is.
Are you ready?
Aug 11, 2018 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
She was married and kept reminding herself of that very fact as she brushed his scratchy facial hair off her cheek. He was also married. She mused on this as she felt his salty breath on her skin. This would have to be the last time she promised herself. Every time was the last.
But as the memory faded she found herself back again. She slid her hand into his lap, for a man with such yellow teeth he kissed like a man with much less yellow teeth.