Born Andrew Scott. Aggravating entity. Author of Fake History. Fake Heroes out 25 May. Representation @pew_literary @email@example.com
Sep 29, 2018 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
The Conservative party conference is being held at the ICC in Birmingham - built with £49.7 million of funds provided by the European Council. The foundation stone was laid by Jacques Delors.
Birmingham city centre was destroyed by German bombing in WW2 and hastily and cheaply reconstructed in the 50s and 60s. Hundreds of millions of pounds of EU money has poured into that city since the 80s with the Conservative Party conference taking place bang in the centre
Sep 11, 2018 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
"What about a bus?"
"We tried the fucking bus. The fucking bus is why we're here."
"How about me making an allusion to something in antiquity - perhaps in latin?"
"Shut it Mogg. Honest to God. Shut the fuck up."
Sure all the #FreeTommy people who sent in donations for Tommy's legal fees will be delighted to see him sunning himself in a 5 star hotel in the Canaries.... for two weeks. dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6…
Wanted to knock off a Tommy Robinson holiday diary but I suppose it writes itself. And I'm too flipping busy...
Aug 8, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
1952. Funeral for George VI .... wonder if @BorisJohnson would ever dare called these women letterboxes?
The Queen is a descendant of Mohammed. So perhaps this was all Sharia by stealth.
Aug 7, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
My cousin is very observant. She wears a full head covering and lives in a women only secluded, walled society right in the middle of West London. If I wish to visit her it is extremely complex. Most of the times I've seen her she was behind a grill. My cousin is a Carmelite nun
Carmelites almost never leave the walls of their convent. They take vows of chastity and silence and don't show their faces to the outside world. Is it religious extremism? Clearly? Do these women pose a threat to our society? Clearly not. Do I agree with it? No.
Aug 3, 2018 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Yaxley Lennon's prison complaint. The lack of a TV in his cell amounted to "mental torture." #TommyRobinson
Tommy Robinson literally spent his time in prison bleating about not having a tv
Aug 2, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
Put your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad
Dear Tommy, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's f*cked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me on Speaker's corner
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
Jul 31, 2018 • 6 tweets • 3 min read
UKIP's Peter Whittle can't even tell the truth about his lunch.
Top work @Depaysement .... perhaps @prwhittle could explain why he was using a stock photo of Kraft cheese. What's wrong with English cheddar Peter? Do you hate our way of life?
Jul 29, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
UK buys 55% of its sugar from UK beet producers. American Sugar Refining (which owns Tate & Lyle sugars brand) backed Brexit and wants foreign grown cane sugar imported into the UK without tariffs. That benefits American big sugar and some overseas interests. But not UK farmers.
Still @andywigmore will be happy. That's mission accomplished
Jul 29, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
In February 1912 Franz Reichelt decided to demonstrate his new parachute by jumping off the Eiffel tower. The experts told him it wouldn't work. All the available evidence showed that it wouldn't work - but Franz decided to jump anyway..
There's a very weird type of Brexiteer that's obsessed with "civility" - a lot of them gather round the @artists4brexit camp. What is that?
My friend who voted Brexit who's obsessed with Brendan O'Neill is the same. Is it a "Brendan defence" aka "I'm shutting you down for being impolite because you disagree with me and that's rude."
Jul 28, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Political tattoos are a thing. Here's Thatcher. I'm guessing Louis wears trousers...
And here's Sarah Palin
Jul 19, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
They haven't. They've created a rather thought provoking art work using a much better poem.
The detail you and others are neglecting is that "If" had only been up for a few months. That in itself shows a massive lack of imagination on the part of Manchester University. The students have shown far more wit and intelligence than authorities @andrewdoyle_com
Jul 19, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
What those students in Manchester have done with "If" has been roundly dismissed but actually I think it's rather smart. "If" is essentially a set of instructions on how to be a white man off The Empire and Maya Angelou's "Still I rise" is about how to be a strong black woman...
I have to say that I've never read the Maya Angelou poem before ... whereas I can recite If.... and looking at the two... side by side... I'd say the Angelou poem has more power, more wit and more resonance. It's a better poem. But beyond that it's really interesting and thought
Jul 15, 2018 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Wondering how this guy shouting insults at a Muslim woman bus driver voted in the EUreferendum. I'm guessing he's a Remoaner. What do you lot think?
Note that the bus driver is smiling. She's showing "blitz spirit" .... keeping smiling through... while that tosser abuses her
Jul 14, 2018 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
I'm unashamedly invoking Godwin's law here... BUT.. I now have absolutely no doubt in my mind that in different circumstances Piers Morgan, Nigel Farage and their ilk would be insisting that we welcome a certain Austrian born German Fuhrer and condemning protesters.
Trump is not Hitler. He's in no danger of tipping that far and I don't think he's even ideologically driven. But I always wondered how Nazi Germany was allowed to happen and why people in Britain were sympathetic to Hitler even in the face of overwhelming evidence and now I see.
Jul 13, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Piers Morgan only backs Trump because he thinks Trump offers a way back to his failed American career. A lot of this has nothing to do with actual values. It's about salaries, creating personas and selling them. See also Hopkins in her original incarnation.
Historians of the future will be bewildered that a scripted reality tv show called The Apprentice destroyed western civilisation.
Jul 8, 2018 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Andrea Jenkyns is going to sing.
Chloe Westley is going to be reciting her poems.
There's going to be pro Brexit protest songs....
It's going to be the most hilarious night out and I'm just praying that someone has gone along incognito to cover it.
Gay donkeys and pro Mini Golfers. The extraordinary case of Lewisham's "Democrats and Veterans" Mayoral candidate. And I swear it's all true. Honest. Well apart from the hamster. #LewishamMayor#LocalElections2018 thepinprick.com/2018/04/18/lio…
Still trying to work out how old Will Donnelly is and what combat experience the former Secretary of Young Independence has. Does arguing with a year 8 about jumping the queue count as combat experience?
Apr 12, 2018 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
Enoch Powell was a racist prat whose "intellect" was wildly exaggerated. We've enough living racist prats to deal with and I see absolutely no reason to drag up a dead one and his dead man's words.
Let me caveat that by saying "yes discuss it and discuss it by all means - but is it really necessary for an actor to read the whole thing out?" It gives it status. It gives it a rank that it is not worthy of.
Apr 8, 2018 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
I met Margaret Thatcher once. One of the oddest experiences of my life. I was at a drinks party and the Thatchers were there. Suddenly a man was at my side:
"Do you know the cricket score?" He demanded - it was Denis. I didn't and suggested that he head off into the kitchens
Where there was a radio. Seconds later Maggie was at my side.
"What did my husband want?" She demanded adding "who are you?"
I told her that my Mother had organised the event and expected her to move off but she stayed and we started talking.