I keep seeing this 'why did she wait so long to tell' question in response to numerous #metoo and other disclosure events about sexual harassment/assault. It's a constant undermining of what it actually takes to stand up to an abuser. Asking victims to deal with confronting a sexual harasser or assaulter while they r trying to recover is so cold. Some can, some try - most of us just can't do it right then. It's incredibly ridiculous to ask us to do it on someone else's time frame.

I've spoken about my PTSD openly here for about a decade. I've talked about it from many angles. I want to talk about how others react and feel about my triggers. When someone with PTSD says they are being triggered by someone's actions, this is not an accusation that the person is doing it intentionally or is abusive (tho they could be) - it's about trying to help the other person understand how that behavior affects us.

I am so thankful that awareness of PTSD is more widespread than ever. I'm also aggravated by the large numbers of people who think they know what it is and have diagnosed themselves. U may have it - u might not. Please leave a diagnosis up to trained medical health experts. Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD. Not everyone who experiences post-traumatic stress has PTSD. U may not have a disorder at all. U could have acute stress disorder or bad memories, anxiety, many things. Those are not the same as PTSD.

My nana was born in Mexico in 1899, not in the US on the 4th of July as she always told us.

https://twitter.com/lovelyjessij/status/1027529628125147139

I heard my nana tell me and my cousins how the whole country was celebrating her birthday when the fireworks went off on 4th of July. It was a cute little joke. So I thought.

I love bartering. It's been a fascinating part of my consulting work. About 10% of my clients pay in trade for services they offer, and it makes my life a better place. It allows them to get info they couldn't afford otherwise. One of my clients is a small business owner in Houston who has cash flow issues but can get me discounts, hookups, connections, phone calls, favors, all kinds of stuff. The info I'm providing him and his team is making a big difference. And I've got concert tickets otw.

So ... I have been planning something a very long time that I haven't shared here - it used to feel like a silly dream, but now it's my retirement plan. I'm buying land and building a home - with no loans. Lemme tell u-this scheme has taken some dedication, discipline, and magic. I've "owned" 2 homes b4 in my life - I lost both during times that coincided w housing market problems and break ups w my children's fathers - they were both heart aches to lose. I can barely talk about it.

I think we need to have a little talk about respectability politics - sometimes appearing as conversations about "civility" There's a deep connection to civility and civilized, usually a meaning about how manners for treating others are defined by an oppressive group who claims the other is u civilized and needs to be dominated -- see history of colonialism and manifest destiny please