These are terms I just learned (over the last few months myself) that described succinctly, what the heck is going on with my brain.
To unpack these terms, I'm going to start you with Sappho.
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“Sweet mother, I cannot weave –
slender Aphrodite has overcome me
with longing for a girl.” –Sappho
To everyone, we've almost all been in this feeling. (i cannot speak for Ace)
Someone we see or meet, and their presence just #dazzles us into #malfunction (however brief)
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- it's a pretty common #human#feeling. (again, cannot speak for Ace, and that's ok, y'all are lovely :) )
now here's where #GayPanic sets in... we feel the feels...omg. wow.
and our brains go into... IS THIS DANGER????
I'm sorry to say, our panic does start there.
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- we (the users of the term, wherever you are in the spectrum)
#fact, when i was just coming out to mum, a young lady was dragged aside by 3 men, they held her down, cut her arms, carved RIP DYKE into her stomach & amidst her sobbing & asking why, they said to her, "at least we're not raping you"-
- To this day, i wonder about her... where is she now? Is she ok?
and to this day, I hear that story, and the others i've heard since.
SO....
yes, the #panic is real.
if I like someone and they know, what will happen?
What do we do about this?
- we also get to our friends and say, do you know them? are they safe?
all kinds of methods.
WHICH, brings me to the second term, #UselessLesbian. (i dont know the other terms, I am a lesbian, so this is the one I was given :) )
(ps, i wanna hear your terms :) tell me)
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- #UselessLesbian, is a term that describes... well, that lovely in between place of...
I am having #gaypanic
I don't know what to do.
I can't assume anything or i'll be unsafe.
so... I guess they're being friendly with me?
(even if you're straight up making out)
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-for those wondering, I read that story, and i'm glad her current GF persisted with her words, and explaining that it was ok, and yes she was after a relationship.
I don't much care for the term Useless, as we're damned handy to have around,
but it's a quick/easy phrase that
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- encapsulates this feeling of.... is it ok to #feel?
is it alright to #love?
I don't know.
so maybe if i freeze in my panic, it will sort itself out.
That has to be one of the sadder things i've ever written just now.
(and yeah, i do it too. not immune)
About the story of the woman who was brutalized, In my head I knew that was a news story my mum brought up, when she asked me not to come out, for fear of my safety... I forgot to put that in the tweet tho...
Right now, notice where your head is in space. Is it out forward over your chest, or is it more directly up and over your shoulders?
If not,then,as if someone pulled a thread from the top of your skullcap straight up...pullyour head up-
-and put your head back direct over your shoulders.
Doing this a little each day will loosen your back muscles & arm muscles a bit. (might even help with pain)
I bet you're nearsighted & put your head down to the screen when you read, just like me.
Now, about those arms-
- This is a noticing piece.
I hold my pencil and mouse tight. Death grip. Been working on loosening for years.
I rest by not using either.
Turns out, touch screening a phone, uses the same death poke, and the arm up in the same tightly bent position.
And for my #visuallyimpaired folks, I will #type out the #text of that #image, down here. Cuz the data is #important. (one of these days I'll get all my comics done with text properly on the site)
Starts here: Hello, It's Trish Malone, creator of #NKVSSP and slightly hurty -
- artist monkey.
And it's just struck me now, so bear with me.
My forearm, right at the elbow, is needles and fire. It happens. And Overuse is the #1 suspect. Turns out today though, overuse is actually #2.
My #health is up & down, and I'm used to it.
I get around, or I lay down (laying down while typing right now)
&now that my forearm is burnin, I'll be doing this a little less as previously stated.
fine enough, but lets talk bout-
-internalized disabili-phobia. (gimmee a break,& gimmee the word if it exists)
it kinda works like internalized homophobia really. I pulled inside all of the shit I've heard for years. all of the hate, all of the "there's no place for you, so go and die already". all inside-
Here we have the beginning of the #show!
Kinda hot, but the first cloud loomed (pretty!)
We set up behind the #drums in the back 😊
For those who've never been to #DenverBotanicalGardens , imagine the #stage at the center bottom of an inverse pyramid.
Melissa Etheridge coming down the side ramp toward the stage!
This photo is bleached out cuz of the intense sun beating down on us (before the rest of the clouds would sweep across the sky)
Unsure which songs these are from.
The #lineup#featured#songs from #YourLittleSecret and back.
A fun #memory lane trip for my veteran show going friends, and a good #show for my newbie friends to walk into 😊
Seriously, if you're #reading down the #list going, "That's me, that's me, that's me, and oooooo is that EVER me!"
I'd definitely #recommend getting some #help with the matter.
It's taken years to be #comfortable in my own skin.
Years of breaking the old records in my head
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It's a freakin #relief, to cry a tiny bit in a #movie theatre at a moving point in the film, without having to expend all the extra #energy in "did someone see me?" #exhausting!