Thread by @TheyThemMor

Hey #Exvangelical Twitter and those who follow us - little reminder that most people who leave the church also get shunted to the outsides of their own families by a religious belief that real community only exists in Christ, and that’s excruciating. Be kind to each other today.

Even for those whose families have not deliberately shunned or ostracized them (which happens), there is a painful and obvious disconnect. At family gatherings you sit at a table full of people you desperately want to connect with and can’t think of a thing to say.

Can’t talk politics, because even if they aren’t Trump supporters you’ve never heard the word “Democrat“ come out of a Christian’s mouth without it sounding like they are spitting poison. Can’t feminism for the same reason.

Talking about your relationships is tricky if you are dating, because odds are your version of dating would be considered sinful by them.

Can’t even touch the prospect of sharing with him that you’re dating someone of a gender they think is the “wrong” one.

And if you’re in a loving, stable relationship but without a piece of paper that says you’re married, you’re still “living in sin,” so you can’t really bring that up either without it at least being uncomfortable.

Can’t discuss your spirituality, because they only accept one version of spirituality as valid, and whatever religious practices you have outside of theirs they will consider sinful at best and evil at worst.

Parenting? Be prepared to answer questions about why you don’t spank, or why you aren’t interested in teaching your child about God so they don’t go to hell. Better to just not bring it up.

And all the while you have no way of expressing to them that you might think they are all genuinely good people but that they believe truly bad things. Dangerous things. Painful things. Things that actively cause you harm.

That sentiment at least is almost shared between you, except for the part about them thinking you are a good person.

#BeingExvangelical means knowing that your entire family thinks you’re not a good person because according to the Bible nobody is truly good without God.

And at the end of the day, you know that if you share your feelings about how isolated, and lonely, and brokenhearted you are to be unable to share your life with your family, there’s always the chance they’ll feel hurt that you’re saying those things, which makes it all worse.

It’s almost enough to make some of us entertain the possibility of faking a return to Christianity just so we can have our families back.

Of course that’s not a real option., But some days I almost wish it was.