I'm guilty far too often of masking how I feel. I say meh, I'm ok I guess. I'll be alright. Tonight that happened and I went in the bathroom, leaned up against the wall and sobbed. It was as if that door literally propped me up.
πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/1

#thursdaythoughts
After some time I put powder on my nose and a smile on my face as I pulled the door open.

I think that one instance could encompass so much of my life now with depression

Depression/PTSD/Insomnia are insidious and can have life ending consequence if someone goes there.
πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/2
I went there. 4 times. It is the MOST lonely and isolated feeling in the world. The self loathing thats required, everything negative someone has said usually plays like a CD that scratches. Repeatedly. πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/3
Some of what's going on, on Twitter is contributory to this stress. Those who've been around the last few months have witnessed it. I don't wanna rehash if but it's convoluted and invariably stupid.

I said the above to say this πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/4
I have ALWAYS had my daddy's temper and a take no shit attitude. When you're going thru regression therapy for PTSD it's common for anger to rise up. Anything else, even trivial things, can exasperate that anger. But I've learned πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/5
Not to speak off the cuff. I want to, but I refuse to give them that. I know some of us ride shotgun when it comes to this. We have each others back all I need is support. Unrelated to that mess, I'm spiraling. I'm NOT burned out from Resisting & am not taking a breath πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/6
I'm human though. I don't purport to be perfect. i don't understand why I'm here -on earth- after all of those attempts.

What is the purpose of my pain? Is it selfish or "unbecoming of a resistance member" to talk about this as I've been told? πŸ‘‡πŸΌ/7
A way to explain part of it is imagine walking on the sidewalk and keep looking back bc you can feel someone behind you. They're following u. Turns out that can happen in different walks of life

With all that said plz keep me in close to your heart. I'm truly love yall😘😘 /End

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More from @Kokomothegreat

Oct 9, 2018
So.. I wanna share something that happened. Can't say I'm proud but this is why you need to watch what you say to an assault survivor with PTSD.

I had an incident with a male family member over people not speaking up immediately about being assaulted. 1/
Knowing full well I've been thru more than 1 assault, he said to me if you don't speak up right away then you shouldn't ever speak abt it.

Of course, I pushed back. Forcefully. But he continued & didn't listen when I said repeatedly to stop as it was a hot button issue w/me. 2/
After a back and forth, I sat stoically on the couch. Biting and pursing my lips and shaking in complete shock. He returned after briefly stepping out side and was standing over me with his finger pointed in my face 3/
Read 10 tweets
Oct 5, 2018
If you're unable to watch what's happening on the floor, I'm gonna be updating this thread with the latest the best I can.

Just now:

Sen Grassley sd Dems doctored a video of Kavanaugh saying B.C was "abortion inducing drugs".

#VoteNo #StopKavanaugh #CancelKavanaugh
Sen Grassley:

The democrats had "one last card" to play with regard to Dr. Ford. Suggesting they sat on the allegations merely as a ploy.

People should see this for what it is- political play.
Lawd have mercy.

I just took my anxiety medication and bloop pressure pills. πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

Grassley is on my fucking nerves. He is lying and lying and lying about the same stuff they've lied abt for a month.
Read 7 tweets
Oct 4, 2018
Brett Kavanaughs College FRESHMAN roommate who *shared* a room w/him, Jamie Roche, says he witnessed "notably a much heavier drinker than others". He was "drunk frequently" & not just weekends, was "belligerent & aggressive". He's heard from ppl, not on the record, about violence
Jamie Roche didn't "socialize" w/Kavanaugh, but saw him come home at times "incoherent. Stumbling. Sometimes singing. Would throw up. Have a lot of trouble getting up in the morning"

"I saw him blackout drunk."

(On @AC360)
He was referenced in the original Washington Post (or Nytimes) article. He doesn't understand why he was not contacted by the FBI. Not now. Not ever.
Read 4 tweets
Oct 3, 2018
Sen. John Kennedy says Democrats "don't have a soul because they were not breastfed and went straight to raw meat".

I fucking can NOT.
(For the record, I'm a hard Dem. I was breastfed and I have never eaten raw anything. @SenJohnKennedy Fuck off.

Do you have mommy problems or are you jealous you senile fuck!
I am reading about this asshats history and saw that he was a DEMOCRAT until switching to Repub in 2007.

How tf did a dude who says this horseshit used to be a dem?
Read 4 tweets
Sep 23, 2018
44 DAYS til Midterms & the race were obsessed w/is #BetoForTexas vs #WhatsHisName.😊

Let's have a #BetOnBeto #FBRParty

πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡²Like, Retweet & Follow

Share your favorite bits on Beto. (I.e Clips, Memes, Articles, Gifs, Pics, etc)

Visit BetoforTexas.com for campaign deets.
I hope we get lots of things we can all share as much as possible. Beto's average donation has been $33.00. So it is nothing BUT a grassroots campaign. I'm not in TX but hopefully pushing his message on social media helps some.
Top NRA Recipients for 2017-2018.
Read 11 tweets
Sep 19, 2018
Never discount a survivor of abuse due to the amount of time b/w the assault & speaking out. It means nothing as far as credibly.

I was molested from abt 7-14 &didn't speak abt it for 18 yrs. Also, I was raped by a pastor & only opened up abt it after hanging myself πŸ‘‡πŸΌ1/
In a suicide attempt that should've killed me. Anyone criticizing or disparaging #Ford for speaking out is why we need a #metoo movement. Collectively we can't be silenced. Alone we are just whispering into a void. πŸ‘‡/2
Not only do we spend a lifetime wondering "WHAT happened" "HOW did it happen" & a lifetime of every "what-ifs" imaginable. We feel broken, unlovable, scarred, self conscious & paranoid. Don't let the smile fool u. The real pain is behind the eyes and in the heart u can't seeπŸ‘‡/3
Read 4 tweets

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