Thread by @Kokomothegreat

I'm guilty far too often of masking how I feel. I say meh, I'm ok I guess. I'll be alright. Tonight that happened and I went in the bathroom, leaned up against the wall and sobbed. It was as if that door literally propped me up.
👇🏼/1

#thursdaythoughts

After some time I put powder on my nose and a smile on my face as I pulled the door open.

I think that one instance could encompass so much of my life now with depression

Depression/PTSD/Insomnia are insidious and can have life ending consequence if someone goes there.
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I went there. 4 times. It is the MOST lonely and isolated feeling in the world. The self loathing thats required, everything negative someone has said usually plays like a CD that scratches. Repeatedly. 👇🏼/3

Some of what's going on, on Twitter is contributory to this stress. Those who've been around the last few months have witnessed it. I don't wanna rehash if but it's convoluted and invariably stupid.

I said the above to say this 👇🏼/4

I have ALWAYS had my daddy's temper and a take no shit attitude. When you're going thru regression therapy for PTSD it's common for anger to rise up. Anything else, even trivial things, can exasperate that anger. But I've learned 👇🏼/5

Not to speak off the cuff. I want to, but I refuse to give them that. I know some of us ride shotgun when it comes to this. We have each others back all I need is support. Unrelated to that mess, I'm spiraling. I'm NOT burned out from Resisting & am not taking a breath 👇🏼/6

I'm human though. I don't purport to be perfect. i don't understand why I'm here -on earth- after all of those attempts.

What is the purpose of my pain? Is it selfish or "unbecoming of a resistance member" to talk about this as I've been told? 👇🏼/7

A way to explain part of it is imagine walking on the sidewalk and keep looking back bc you can feel someone behind you. They're following u. Turns out that can happen in different walks of life

With all that said plz keep me in close to your heart. I'm truly love yall😘😘 /End