Bye Profile picture
Oct 2, 2018 4 tweets 2 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
We Conservatives want good jobs for British workers. And that's why were allowing skilled migrants to continue take the good jobs, leaving all the low-wage, low-skilled jobs for Britons to do.

And once we have an economy based entirely on British workers picking fruit and serving coffee to wealthy immigrants, we no longer need an education system, so we can cut that, and reduce our tax bill even further at your children's expense
And if, as a result of our social engineering, your kids have worthless jobs and dead-end lives and can't afford homes or families, they won't mind dying young. So we'll shut the NHS, and spend the extra money on union jack flags and bunting, and photos of the Queen
But obviously we still need enough children to wear uniforms and fight wars, otherwise we'd have nothing to masturbate to. So we'll set military spending at the exact level that let's us have LOADS of shiny soldiers to boast about, but no hardware to keep them safe

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More from @RussInCheshire

Oct 20, 2022
Boy, am I glad I waited until after 1:30 to do #TheWeekInTory

1. It seems an age, but only 6 days ago Elizabeth Truss, an anagram of Haziest Bluster, promised parliament she “absolutely” stuck to her leadership promise of “not planning public spending cuts”
2. She then sacked her chancellor for agreeing with her, and appointed demonic pixie Jeremy Hunt, who promised £40 billion of cuts

3. Hunt was immediately undermined by reports Truss had asked feral gonad Sajid Javid to come back as chancellor, but Javid said: no fucking way
4. Truss brains-trust member Jason Stein said it didn't happen cos the PM “sat in the cabinet with Javid for 10 years" and "knows who is shit”

5. So Truss sacked her brains-trust

6. Another aide said Truss “pretended her relatives had died” to get out of going out in public
Read 40 tweets
Oct 7, 2018
If you're rich and speak against greed or the right, you're a pampered celeb who doesn't understand the real world.

If you're poor and speak against greed or the right, it's the politics of envy.
If you're a charity and speak against greed or the right, you should stick to addressing real problems, like something in Africa or sick animals.

If you're a union and speak against greed or the right, you're an old fashioned socialist wielding too much power.
If you're a church and speak against greed or the right, you're out of touch, should stay out of politics, stick to preaching tea and biscuits to empty pews.

If you're a business and speak against greed or the right, you don't understand the markets and are unrepresentative.
Read 5 tweets
Oct 6, 2018
(From Cameron's time, in style of John Cooper Clark)

Tory story
Lacks glory.
Vote blue
Or fuck you.

Sell, sack,
Fiddle, frack.
Cut, slash,
Pocket cash.

Murdoch pander.

HS2, CO2,
Two for me,
None for you.
Green crap.
Migrant cap.
Dog whistle.
Fact dismissal.

Welfare slash.
Union bash.
NHS reduced to ash.

Don't dare
a wheelchair:
Tax rooms
for home care.

Zero hours.
Zero hope.
Starting life
at the end of your rope.

They've presided.
We've divided.
Democracy has been derided.
Rake muck.
House for a duck.
Allegedly a pig fuck.

Earn less.
Eton mess.
Taking orders from the press.

Food bank.
Pay shrank.
Budget is a pile of wank.

School chum.
Pleb scum.
Protest letter from his mum.

Glass ceiling.
Government of dodgy dealing.
Read 4 tweets
Oct 2, 2018
In the late 90s I was an exec at the digital agency for WWF @World_Wildlife, and involved in their global campaign on fishing.

The EU has almost nothing to do with UK fishing restrictions, and I know, cos I was there.

Mini thread:
Fisheries worldwide used "drag trawling", nets big enough to hold 6 jumbo jets, weighted so that drag the sea floor. The catch or destroy everything - fish, thatcherites, eggs, the entire environment wiped clean
Some parts of the north sea were drag-trawled 6 times a year. Fish stocks were vanishing with no time for young fish to reach breeding age before they were caught or their territories destroyed.

Something needed to be done.
Read 8 tweets
Sep 29, 2018
Tories claim most schools have seen a budget increase.

Here's an map of the school budget cuts near me.

Find the cuts at your local schools
Cuts in London
Cuts in Bristol
Read 9 tweets
Sep 22, 2018
It's ages since I did any painting, but I'm having a go at Bowie today.
Just blocking out colours
In case it's not clear, the background is some moss green curtains with deep black shadows. Doing the background first because hair is impossible to paint *around*, you have to paint it over the background.
#LivePainting #Bowie
Read 4 tweets

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