So.. I wanna share something that happened. Can't say I'm proud but this is why you need to watch what you say to an assault survivor with PTSD.
I had an incident with a male family member over people not speaking up immediately about being assaulted. 1/
Knowing full well I've been thru more than 1 assault, he said to me if you don't speak up right away then you shouldn't ever speak abt it.
Of course, I pushed back. Forcefully. But he continued & didn't listen when I said repeatedly to stop as it was a hot button issue w/me. 2/
After a back and forth, I sat stoically on the couch. Biting and pursing my lips and shaking in complete shock. He returned after briefly stepping out side and was standing over me with his finger pointed in my face 3/
Brett Kavanaughs College FRESHMAN roommate who *shared* a room w/him, Jamie Roche, says he witnessed "notably a much heavier drinker than others". He was "drunk frequently" & not just weekends, was "belligerent & aggressive". He's heard from ppl, not on the record, about violence
Jamie Roche didn't "socialize" w/Kavanaugh, but saw him come home at times "incoherent. Stumbling. Sometimes singing. Would throw up. Have a lot of trouble getting up in the morning"
I hope we get lots of things we can all share as much as possible. Beto's average donation has been $33.00. So it is nothing BUT a grassroots campaign. I'm not in TX but hopefully pushing his message on social media helps some.
I'm guilty far too often of masking how I feel. I say meh, I'm ok I guess. I'll be alright. Tonight that happened and I went in the bathroom, leaned up against the wall and sobbed. It was as if that door literally propped me up.
👇🏼/1
After some time I put powder on my nose and a smile on my face as I pulled the door open.
I think that one instance could encompass so much of my life now with depression
Depression/PTSD/Insomnia are insidious and can have life ending consequence if someone goes there.
👇🏼/2
I went there. 4 times. It is the MOST lonely and isolated feeling in the world. The self loathing thats required, everything negative someone has said usually plays like a CD that scratches. Repeatedly. 👇🏼/3
Never discount a survivor of abuse due to the amount of time b/w the assault & speaking out. It means nothing as far as credibly.
I was molested from abt 7-14 &didn't speak abt it for 18 yrs. Also, I was raped by a pastor & only opened up abt it after hanging myself 👇🏼1/
In a suicide attempt that should've killed me. Anyone criticizing or disparaging #Ford for speaking out is why we need a #metoo movement. Collectively we can't be silenced. Alone we are just whispering into a void. 👇/2
Not only do we spend a lifetime wondering "WHAT happened" "HOW did it happen" & a lifetime of every "what-ifs" imaginable. We feel broken, unlovable, scarred, self conscious & paranoid. Don't let the smile fool u. The real pain is behind the eyes and in the heart u can't see👇/3