Thread by @sindivanzyl

Marinus told his mom about me. He made it clear that we were courting - he had already given me a promise ring - and that we would be getting married in 2004.
I told my mom about Marinus.
They were both very shocked. It was 2001 and everyone had 3 years to sort themselves out

Marinus' brothers are cool. He is the third born of four boys. There was obviously that initial shock and then everything was okay.
There was however one person who was not happy with the latest developments - farmer cousin from #Marikana ...

Farmer cousin from #Marikana called Marinus and requested a meeting in Marikana. I was like "oh hell NO!" People 'disappear'. We all know this. I told Marinus to tell farmer cousin that they could meet at Haarties - and Paul his older brother was also coming ...

The got to Haarties and met at a pub. Farmer cousin from #Marikana got straight to the point. He wanted to know if Marinus had self-esteem issues and if he wasn't reacting to his father's passing away (Marinus van Zyl the First had passed away in 1999) ...

Farmer cousin from #Marikana then gave a speech about how he was going to have to cut Marinus off the family tree. He did not want his children to see us at family events and think that it was okay for different races to "mix" . He quoted the Bible - Noah's ark specifically ...

Farmer cousin from #Marikana pointed out that the animals had gone in two-by-two zebra with zebra, donkey with donkey, etc. He said that even God didn't "mix" the animals up. Marinus told him he was happy to be cut out of the family tree ...

Farmer cousin from #Marikana also pointed out that his farmer friends would not tolerate knowing that a relative of his had married a Black woman. He then told them about a white man who had "died" mysteriously after it was rumoured that he was sleeping with a Black woman ...

But the best was still to come. I've shared this story before. God has the best sense of humour ever!!!

Farmer cousin from #Marikana then goes off on a tangent. He is complaining about how "the Blacks" are taking over everything. He tells Marinus and his brother that his wife had gone to her GP for her annual general check-up. The GP had a BLACK female medical student working there

Farmer cousin from #Marikana goes on to point out how disgusted his wife was and how she flatly refused to be examined by this BLACK female medical student.

Who was the BLACK female medical student? Take a wild guess?!

📷 :

Marinus: oh really. That BLACK female medical student - that's Sindi my future wife. She told me about what happened with your wife. Sindi did her preceptorship in Rustenburg with Dr X

Farmer cousin from #Marikana : 😶

Marinus and Paul left Haarties in peace 😊

The brothers have been amazing.

Marinus was indeed cut off farmer cousin's family tree.

There was a big family event from that branch of the tree. The brothers caucused and agreed that their mother had to go but they weren't going in support of their brother Marinus ❤

Marinus and I have been through a LOT. Since 2001. Things weren't so smooth on my side either. I've tweeted about my BFF who married a colleague. I introduced them but I'm persona non grata in their lives because the Caramellos are contributing to a "defective gene pool"

People would tell us that they didn't really mind mixed couples as long as we didn't have children. We had to be careful because our children would be confused and never fit in 😂

I had a Professor call me aside after a ward round. He had heard that I would be marrying an Afrikaner and he wanted to ask me not to change my surname. It would be very unfair of me to create an expectation in patient's minds and then they see me ... and you know disappointment

I reassured Prof that I would be using "Sithole-van Zyl" so he had nothing to worry about. I had to lie because no ways was I risking failing my final exams. But that's how deep racism runs in our country. It's deep

I generally don't mind racism from white people and other races. If I'm in the mood, I'll help you unlearn whatever it is you need to unlearn. If I'm not in the mood, I'll spit fire and burn you to ashes ...

I do not take similar behaviour from my fellow Blacks well at all. I feel that we have a bond - our skin colour - and that should make it easy for you to engage. Heck I've been asked which penises are bigger? Black or white. I didn't mind. As long as you engage I'm happy

There is one area of my life that is a problem for my fellow Blacks. My credit card.
There is always high drama with my credit card. 😞

The cool guys will smile and ask "are you van Zyl?" and I'll smile and take out my ID and show it to them. Easy peasy. Sorted

The not-so-cool guys will look at the card ... look at me ... look at the card ... act weird ... delay ... and then the manager appears.

Do that to me and this is what you get 📷

There are two such incidents. The worst one was at Woolies Design Quarter. I've shared this story before. 😞
I was going to a baby shower and needed a gift. I pop into Woolies. I'm with Mmatsie. Get to the till, hand over my purchase and my card. I'm busy chatting to Mmatsie...

Hawu there's a delay-nyana. I know exactly what's happening but I refuse to believe it. I ask the till operator if there's a problem. "No" she says. After a few minutes guess who arrives? The Manager.
Ngahlanya.

Me: I asked if there was a problem and you said "No"
Till operator: *looks at manager"
Manager: ma'am can I see your ... *I didn't let him finish*
Me: *to till operator* sisi I am VERY disappointed in you. Why didn't you ask for my ID? Why didn't you just ask???

Manager: ma'am
Me: I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU. I AM TALKING TO HER *points finger at till operator*
I took out my ID. I took out a small photo of Marinus and I. And I just wouldn't stop shouting. I kept asking her why she hadn't just asked me for my ID. She was silent 😞

I paid for my stuff and started walking out of the store. I read the till slip. Woolies' puts the names of the till operators at the bottom of the slip.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
Her surname was an English surname - same Whatsapp group as Adams and Williams.
I went back 😡

Me: hayibo hayibo hayibo is'bongo sakho? Is this your surname?!?
Till operator: yes
Me: 📷 *don't really want to share what I said because that was the old me*

After I was done helping her to unlearn I asked for a pen and a piece of paper. I wrote Woolworths a nasty letter and asked them to sort their store out 😞

A few years before that I had gone to buy the Sunday Times at the Super Spar in Northcliff.
I got to the till. Gave her the paper and my credit card.
Delay. So I ask "Mama is there a problem?" She says no. Next thing The Manager arrives.
"Excuse me ma'am can I see your ID?"

Me: no
Me to till operator: Mama ngemphela? Ubize u-manager wakho for i-Sunday Times. Why didn't you ask for my ID? Why?
Manager: ma'am excuse me. Excuse me.
Me: LEAVE ME ALONE
Me to till operator: just tell me ... why would I steal someone's credit card for a newspaper?!?

Manager: ma'am excuse me
Me: I AM COMING BACK
I stormed out of the Super Spar. The tears had arrived. They're always on stand-by as you now know. I went to the car and told Marinus the story. I asked him to come and sort The Manager out. Back into Super Spar we went

The Northcliff Super Spar has automatic doors. One side for Entry and one side for Exit. Obviously the Exit door only opens from the inside. Marinus entered the store via the Exit door. He pulled the doors apart and in we went 😂😂😂

I pointed out The Manager who was now a very bright lobster red.
"Sir I can explain. I can explain Sir"
Me: EXPLAIN!!!
Manager: ma'am you're causing a scene in my store
Me: @&¿§¦^>&\\±\¿¡&}[±
Manager: Sir we have a policy when it comes to credit cards
Marinus: make this better

Manager: okay
Marinus: just make this better RIGHT NOW
Me: I'm NOT swiping my card
Manager: you can have the paper for free
Me: hope you have learnt your lesson mnxm
I went back to the till operator and I told her that she should NEVER do that again without asking for ID

We lived in that hood from 2006 until 2015. They treated me like royalty. That manager would always greet me first. Always! 😂😂😂

Those of you that have slid into my DMs asking about Black penises versus White penises ... 📷 #SizeDoesNotMatter

I can't find my SIC badge but it had "Sithole-van Zyl" on it. I knew I wasn't going to double-barrel because Mamazala had asked me very nicely not to do that. But I had to survive medical school