Chef Shwasty Profile picture
May 8, 2018 116 tweets 30 min read Read on X
Alright! #Livetweet of #HarryPotter #GobletofFire starts now! (1PM PST)

Never seen any of these before. Today is day four.

The kids have long hair now, and there are OTHER WIZARD SCHOOLS?!?! The fuck?

Let's jump right in shall we?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I usually pause a movie about ten times so its gonna be a challenge not doing it at all...

But I know lots of people are watching too. This feels like a movie theater!
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Is that?

No...

Holy shit.

IT'S DAVID FUCKING TENNANT!

HE'S MY PERSONAL HERO
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Man they all look like god damn hippies
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Hey isn't that sparkly vampire dude?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Why did the boot make them fly? Dope.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Oh shit that is a lot of wizards and shit.

Quidditch world cup.

AKA Burning Man but with more drugs.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

"I love magic"

I love watching you love magic, you majestic son of a bitch.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I wanna go to the world cup. Can you imagine how fucked up the after parties would be?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

What's going on?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Holy shit, terrorists even attack Wizards?

Is that the fucking KKK?

Wrong place for them. Less diversity here than at a Wilco concert.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Dude what the hell? Why did everything get torched?

I mean, I know its Voldermort, but why?

Also, David Tennant is a beautiful man.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Bigass demon snake in the sky.

Oh, its Voldermort's mark.

Deatheaters? No wholesome names allowed.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Hate all you want on the guy, but Voldie knows how to cultivate an aura of terror.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Is Harry still rich or...

Oh shit.

Harry Potter and the Asian Fetish.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

And the award for best entrance goes to...

Snape.

Because somewhere you know he's just being a badass.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

All girl's wizard school?

Sign me up.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

And here come the boys.

Ron's basement is FLOODED for that seeker dude.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Oooooh Hagrid wants to BONE the tall lady wizard.

Try not picturing THAT in your nightmares.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

The fuck's up with goggle eye?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Unforgivable curses?

Why is Imperio unforgi

Oh. OH.

Yeah that makes sense.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Goggles is alright by me. He cool.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Kruciatis? Crewshi... What?

Oh gnar.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

And the next one, havardi something?

OH DAMN THAT JUST STRAIGHT ICES A MOTHERFUCKER.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

My man sparkles (Cedric?) Is entering in the cup. Harry looks forlorn.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I want to be like the ginger twins when I grow up
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Of course Bulgarian seeker boy is in it.

I know his name is Crumb or something, but imma call him Blyat. Because he looks like he says that a lot.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Goblet time.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

SPARKLES IS IN THE RUNNING!
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Damn that is a bomb as cup.

What's the goblet doing?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

The fuck is Harry doing in the cup?

And why is everyone acting like its a death sentence?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

GET YER HANDS OFF HARRY BEFORE YOU CATCH HANDS OLD MAN.

Old Dumbledore wouldn't have done that.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Ron is getting a little angsty.

Maybe don't shit all over the guy who's going through a lot.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Reporter girl looks like a girl I once had a crush on... And she's a massive HP fan.

I wonder if she did it on purpose?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Yay Sirius is still around!

Also I dead ass thought that owl was fucking talking for like a split second.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

SIRIUS IS THE FIRE.

HE WAS ALWAYS BURNING, OR INTO A WOLF, HE'S TURNING

SIRIUS IS THE FIIIRE.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

"Who were you talking to? I heard voices."

Harry Potter and the Patient Referral to Ron for Clozapine.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

That was a call back.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Hagrid's boning french chick in the woods and wants Harry to watch?

That's kinky even by my standards.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

What the fuck kinda hellscape of dragon torture bullshit is this?!
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Sparkles and Harry. I ship it.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Woah is goggles using an unforgivable curse?!

All ramifications aside, lol at Blondie the ferret.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

This tent looks like it smells bad.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I want a baby palm dragon.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

That's a big dragon.

THAT'S A BIG DRAGON.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

THIS WOULD'VE BEEN EASIER IF HE JUST HAD TO FIGHT THE BABY PALM DRAGON
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

And this dragon is now off the leash.

Someone just lost their fucking job
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

That dragon is making some roofing company a fortune right now
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Meanwhile, at the stadium, they've all moved on and are trying to get back to their parking spots and beat the crowds.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Ayyy he got the egg.

And its a screaming egg.

Nobody wants a screaming egg.

Why would that exist.

"Hey Ned, how many screaming eggs you need today"

Fucking none, dude.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Oh Ron's gonna dance with cat-lady.

He's 14, yeah?

Hope he doesn't make this even more awk.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Ron's older brother has moves
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Snape is my fucking hero.

Ron gets two words out before being ASSAULTED by Snape.

Best character. Best.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Harry's internet search history must have changed drastically in the past few months............... If you know what I mean.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

What's wrong with Ron?

Oh he asked out a hot chick. Good for him.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE

My dress robes, Ron. Jesus. Asshole.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I would mob Ron's floral getup in a SECOND.

And I would rock that shit.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Hermione's shagging Blyat?!?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Let's see. How is Harry going to fuck this up.

Call the girl by the wrong name? Kiss the wrong girl? Hit on someone else? Trip and fall, start a fire, and burn Hogwarts to the ground?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Aww Ginny and Longbottom. Adorbs.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Wizard rock is kinda weird.

Sounds a little like Billy Idol.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

This movie perfectly encapsulates how awkward that age group can be.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Don't fight, guys. Why can't the three of you just all get along and have an awkward open relationship thing? Its 2018. Do you.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Longbottom is getting in pretty late...

My guy. 13 gets you 25 to life.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

"Go bathe with your egg, Harry" says sparkles, winking at him.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Myrtle has a crush on Harry. And its kinda disturbing. This feels like a form of harassment.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Fred and George taking bets on this shit is something I actually did in school.

Good times.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Merman Harry.

This series has it all.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Why did the girl quit?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

EHATBTHEFUCK WHY IS EVERYONE UNDERWATER LIKE THIS IS A GANG HIT
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

And here comes Bulgarian shark boy.

Not gonna lie. I screamed.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Atta boy Harry. No one left behind.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Baby squids. I have a new phobia.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Queue the Sonics drowning music.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

What a fucking baller way to leave a lake.

And there's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Dumbledore does not need a microphone.

His voice is fucking

(fucking)

POWERFUUUUUULLLLLLLLL
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Ah yes, Harry, welcome to my office. Help yourself to my bowl of demon tadpoles.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Snape was a deatheater? The FUCK?!

I mean. He dresses like it. But I try not to judge.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

David Tenant is licking his lips like goggles does. Shapeshifter? Related?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Okay so Goggles is making polyjuice potion. So it must be Tenant in disguise. My trust has vanished.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Splitting Gryffindor by having two champions is dangerous.

Something about having a house divided...
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

This hedge maze is actually kinda my jam.

Being alone and not worrying about an audience. Hanging out with trees. That's that good shit.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

It may be shifting, but the hedge maze is still my jam
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Why are Blyat's eyes all weird?

Is he being controlled?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Emergency flare? Or is he just trying to burn this fucker down.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

RESUME RUNNING HARRY
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Sparkles is honorable as fuck.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Is that Tom Riddles grave?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

OHNSHITITIS
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Well baby Voldie is the most terrifying thing I've

Wait

That was the kill spell
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Get up Sparkles. Fight ratboy.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Woah.

He's... Alive.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

That's not good.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Who the fuck are these hooded fucks
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Sparkles ain't got up yet.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

FUCKSTICK SR IS ONE OF THE VOLDIE GANG?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

This is really tense.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Voldie just pressed 🅱 to block but he did it at the right time so he counter attacked.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Why is the magic gooey?
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Is that Sparkles ghost?

Are those his parents?

Oh god.

Nonono
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Oh no Cedric's dad
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Why did you people subject me to this
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Goggles is out of juice.

Time to turn back into Tenant.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Dumbledore kicks so much ass.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Goggles is in the box!
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Snape wants so badly to pull the trigger on Tenant.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

CEDRIC I'M SORRY I EVER CALLED YOU SPARKLES
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Harry

Idea for ya

Tell someone

ABOUT FUCKSTICK SR BEING ONE OF THE REALLY BAD GUYS
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

This all feels very melancholy
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Wait that's it.

THAT'S IT

WELP DARK LORD IS BACK ROLL CREDITS
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

I feel so robbed right now.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

How can they just

Hey here's Voldie. Fun stuff. END OF MOVIE.
#HarryPotterLiveTweet

Ohhhhhh tomorrow's movie is gonna be fucked, isn't it?

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Chef Shwasty

Chef Shwasty Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @ChefShwasty

Oct 8, 2018
Right, so, my cat's a fucking psychopath

This is going to be a thread, and this is the start

Anyways, so we got Arwen a toy a while back: amazon.com/OurPets-Play-N…

(hOLY SHIT THAT'S A LONG LINK)

It squeaks at the slightest provocation

(Cont'd...)
Like, it squeaks when you pick it up, squeaks when you throw it, squeaks when it bounces, fucker squeaks when you even look at it funny

It doesn't bother me, because Arwen LOVES it. She's happy, I'm happy. I hear her playing with it at night; makes me smile

But...

Cont'd...
Arwen took it last night, and scampered off with it like a proud little huntress I went to bed, and just as soon as I was about to hit the lights, I hear the fucker short circuit

SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK

I sprint out to the front room...

Cont'd...
Read 18 tweets
Oct 3, 2018
Let's talk about embarrassing my annoying coworker

Thanks to the combined efforts of my heroes, @vipbanaangel and @EinganaDragon, a can of surströmming is on its way (which is salt-fermented Baltic herring, and one of the nastiest things on the planet)

But here's the thing...
My coworker (henceforth known as D) is one of those tinfoil-hat wearing nut-jobs that think as soon as his face is on the internet, his identity will be stolen and the government will find him, and his life will be over

That being said, he's agreed to buckle on one account...
"I'd only be filmed if it's for a good cause"

I'm gonna get that in writing

Meanwhile, we're going to be advocating for donation "pledges" for the Oregon Foster Parent Association

This is how I've worked this out:
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2018
Let's have a chat about Halloween movies

We'll do another bracket-style, and I'm thinking 16 movies:

8 Halloween classics
VS
8 scary movies

We'll let the majority decide on what the #ShwastyHalloweenSpecial is going to be, BUT there's another thing to decide (cont'd...)
And that... is the format for it

It can either be a #ShwastyLiveTweet like we're all used to

OR

It can be a live recording like what happened with @GeekGoodness

Which means you'd be able to listen to it at any time. We could also do another giveaway

BUT (more cont'd...)
There's pros and cons for each style

#ShwastyLiveTweet Pros:
-More generally accessible
-Easier to pick up and put down
-Easy to make a "best of"

Cons:
-Not as immersive
-Not as impulsive
-Not as drunk

(Cont'd...)
Read 4 tweets
Sep 11, 2018
Have you ever had that weird moment of realization that people see you?

Like, okay, hold on

You spend your entire life looking through your own eyes and moving your own limbs. You never see your facial reactions. You don't see how you walk, you just feel it.
And then you walk in front of a mirror and think, "fuck, this is what people are looking at?"

So you make a couple of the same gestures and faces in the mirror that you did with other people to see if they look weird

BUT THAT MAKES IT WEIRDER
And then you go back out and start trying to act natural like you didn't just have this exestential crisis of self and identity and are trying to play it cool

Meanwhile you're freaking out wondering if people feel the same way about their own emotive physicality
Read 5 tweets
Sep 2, 2018
Alright, so "Lost World"

I'm purposely not reading ANYTHING on the box, but I did see "4 years later" before I closed it

So the park has been abandoned for four years im assuming? And I'm hoping like a motherfucker @jeffreygoldbIum is in it

#JurassicParkLiveTweet starts NOW!
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Shit it's been a while. I'm like... A little nervous?
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Oh hey is that the same island from Lost?
Read 91 tweets
Jul 21, 2018
#ShwastyLiveTweet of #JurassicPark starts NOW

I know this movie is about a dinosaur island, which would been a less appealing name for the movie

I don't know any of the actors in it, or ANYTHING. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say something goes horribly wrong, though

HIT IT
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

I'm prepared y'all
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

This is some ominous ass music man.
Read 102 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(