Thread by @ChefShwasty

Alcohol? ✅
Tissues? ✅
Stuffed animal? ✅
Will to live? Still there. For the time being.

The #HarryPotterLiveTweet of #HarryPotter and the #HalfBloodPrince starts RIGHT NOW.

HOLY DAMN AM I FUCKING NERVOUS.

Hope Bubbles is okay <3

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Weird ass opening.

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This shit just keeps getting darker huh

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JESUS DUDE

This shit starts with terrorism?

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Remember that time Harry missed the bus and had to fly a car to school? Haha how sweet and funny was that?

Meanwhile, ghost car bombs are going off in this episode.

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Harry sure is diverse in his uh tastes.

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Well that was horrifying

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"Wands out Harry"

Queue my heart going fucking wonk.

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Oh thisnisntgood

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What in the actual shit?

Was that dude just a Lazy boy chair?

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Its been 8 minutes. I've already had a full IPA. That's my level of anxiety right now.

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He's a bit odd.

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"I have a pic of your mom in my living room" is not a thing I'd ever want to hear ANYONE say, regardless of context.

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"I do love knitting patterns"

lol gay

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Apparently Dumbledore is actually gay.

That's progressive as fuck.

Is anyone else gay? Because I've got some bets.

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Ginny is now taller than Harry.

Also, are we ignoring that Hermione is just kinda always around Ron?

Is that her bra on his bed?

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I will never forgive Helena Bonham Carter.

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Woah

Snape is hanging out with the bad guys?

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Wait. Woah woah. So he's an ACTUAL bad guy? I just thought he was going through a phase!

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Bro! No! Don't make the fucking vow!

And Draco is also evil. Less shocking. His name is fucking Draco.

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What deed? What are they doing?

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Hard cut to happier shit.

Okay.

My heart can't take this back and forth.

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There's enough hormones in that teenage prank shop to power a small aircraft carrier.

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Draco.

Draco is gay, isn't he?

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HAAAAGRID

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Holy shit did he really just curb stomp Harry without the curb?

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"I AM a friend!"

"That's nice."

STRIKE ONE, MY GUY.

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Bubbles.

You're my kinda people.

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Snape finally gets his dream job

This would've made me happy like half an hour ago.

I've grown since then.

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That was the most funny and real interaction between two boyhood friends I've ever seen.

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That one girl.

The one with the boner for Ron.

Imma call her

Stalker.

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Aiight who's the half blood prince

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Oh Hermione is MAAAAD

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Dumbledore just offered props to Harry for banging Hermione.

And he passed on the high five.

Come on Har-bear, make daddy Dumbledore proud. Lie to 'im.

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Dude sometimes a kid is just broken. He needs therapy, not a wand.

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Might be #TeamGinny.

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Dude who's trying to bang Hermione

He looks like a Ricky.

And he's gonna end up with Stalker.

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Why is Bubbles watching Gryffindor practice?

Also, baller move by Hermione.

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Funny get your MOUTH OFF THAT BOY

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S BEEN

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Woah WHAT

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Can't make a goddamn joke about Hermione being drunk without some REAL SHIT fucking happening.

Jesus.

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These two boys are having a conversation every guy has had at 2AM around this age with a good friend.

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Hermione's parents are DENTISTS

I don't know why this is the most mind blowing part of this entire series.

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Alright, maybe there's something to this whole Ginny/Harry thing.

What happened to Practice Girl?

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I want to punch every little jackass who's making fun of my Ron.

HIS HAT IS LOVELY

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Bubbles.

Is.

My.

Favorite.

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Is the twist of the potion going to be that it was just water and he had the power all along to win?

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RON HAS ENGAGED BEAST MODE

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I've seen parties start like this.

I know how it ends.

Oh... Yup. Its well on its way.

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Aw, Hermione really does love Ron.

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Also. Called it about the potion.

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This is where Harry could suggest getting some REAL practice girl time.

I'm deflecting. I'm sad.

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Hermione gets mad points for keeping Harry grounded

AhhhhhhHHHHHH HE'S WITH BUBBLES

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God that guy is scummy as fuck.

But he puked on Snape's shoes so

Ten points to house Ricky.

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So now Harry knows for real what's up

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Stalker is trying wayyyyy too hard.

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Ron: Gryffindor keeper, wielder of the broken wand, MASTER of the cock block.

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Oh god damn not this bitch

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OH REALLY

CHANTING ABOUT KILLING SIRIUS

OJ IISBD JEKSNDBFJDHSJ

FUCKIJG SNAP MY PHONE IN HALF

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Who's wolf boy?

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Guys.

Stay safe.

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Really? The Weasley house?

What fucking douche level is this?!

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If Ron and Hermione don't kiss by the end of this I'm gonna

Well I don't know what. But I won't be happy.

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Sluggy sure is paranoid

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Ron is high as balls.

On love?

Ha.

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Those edibles hit hard man

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Ron just straight up took some molly

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When you sober up and realize it wasn't actually love.

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Woah is he okay?

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Oh Jesus don't fucking do this to me.

I've already got like a billion people telling me this movie is fucked up

Ya can't make Ron have a fucking seizure.

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Boy oh boy do I hate Stalker.

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MY BOY RON WITH THE SLEEP CONFESSION

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Draco is unraveling

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He's having an actual panic attack.

There seems to be a lot of mental health themes

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BLONDIE VS SCARFACE ROUND 3

DING DING DING

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Woah what happened to BLONDIE?

That's a lot of blood.

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Is the bird alive?

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It was dead before, I thought

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Ginny has more courage at that age than I have at mine. Smooth kiss.

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That luck potion is actually just straight up everclear.

Explains why he feels so excellent all of a sudden.

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"My interests in this are purely academic."

Yeah wasn't Ken Keasy a teacher, too? He sure as shit didn't stay in academia.

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Can I love Hagrid's dog, or does that motherfucker morph into Satan in the next movie?

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Oh shit that's the big ass spider from like the third movie, isn't it?

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There's a lot of substance abuse in this movie.

Only fitting I'm on my fourth beer...

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"Be brave like my mother. Otherwise, you disgrace her."

Woah.

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I'm hype about seeing this memory. I have to know.

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Horcrux?

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DOES SIRIUS HAVE A HORCRUX

CAN SIRIUS COME-...

oh well

Never mind. No murder.

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Dumbledore is shaken.

And I don't like how he looks.

When he's nervous, I'm nervous

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OH SHIT THE BOOK WAS A HORCRUX

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The music is building

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Dumbledore is so fuckin OP

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This is very Dante's Inferno.

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JESUS I DONT LIKE THESE FUCKING TERMS FOR DRINKING THE MYSTERY WATER

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I don't like this

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This is hurting my soul

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Okay, I really don't like this.

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USE YOUR FUCKING HANDS

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Oh no.

No no no.

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WOAH JESUS I WASNT THINKING SKELETON TIME

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Gollum.

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USE THE DEER NUKE

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OP AS FUCK

JUST DRANK LIKE HIS BODY WEIGHT IN DEMON JUICE BUT CAN STILL CONJURE A FIRE HURRICANE

NO BIG DEAL

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Getting this ominous feeling I should have some whiskey

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RUN FUCKER GO GET SNAPE

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Draco.

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Put it down, boy.

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GO GET SNAPE, HARRY

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Fuck me

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DEER NUKE. SOMETHING.

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SNAPE!!!!!

FIGHT EM.

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What

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I... What?

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FUCK YOU

GOD DAMMIT FUCK YOU

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Snape... Is the Half Blood Prince?

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I'm kinda finding it hard to write right now. I'm sorry guys.

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This is Dumbledore's army.

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I'm ready to fight.

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R. A. B.?

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Dumbledore's Phoenix is ready to fight, too.

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WAIT HOW IS THAT THE END OF THE MOVIE