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I think we need to have a little talk about respectability politics - sometimes appearing as conversations about "civility"
There's a deep connection to civility and civilized, usually a meaning about how manners for treating others are defined by an oppressive group who claims the other is u civilized and needs to be dominated -- see history of colonialism and manifest destiny please
This is problematic in itself bcuz supposedly civilized colonists used human rights violations and European cultural values as their model for what was civilized as the conquered group after group
