Thread by @putinsclown

Invoking the #GoldToiletDoctrine... the Pentagon responds that the only place vice-president Trump’s parade can be done is in Puerto Rico! #PresidentKelly will lead the parade holding the token lightbulb.

... as Putin's Red Sparrow Brigade 🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦 fromThe Moscow Ritz-Carlton hover the VP's coif, sprinkling the golden shower hair tonic, to keep the wind from exposing his obscene scalp. 🐦nymag.com/daily/intellig…

... Of course Melania will be busy at Mar-A-Lago prepping the the future home of the"Museum of American Democracy South" which will be turned over to the people of Puerto Rico as reparations. Now all solar powered.

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

Of course the #NRA will be there as well...

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

#DevinNunes will be given a special dispensation to attend, as his cell in Gitmo is just a short shark-infested swim away...

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

And of course Special Counsel #RobertMueller and the @FBI, ably assisted by our Military, will attend Vice-President Trump's #MilitaryParade to round up all the @GOP representatives and senators under indictment. #BurnLessGas #MuellerIsThrifty

🕵️‍♀️Unfortunately Mr. Alexander Torshin will not be able to attend, as he is tied up in Spain, reading the latest edition of @RollingStone, while waiting for the #NRA @NRA to transfer his bail... rollingstone.com/politics/news/…

For those enquiring minds who want to know... Yes, the fine nazies of Charlottesville will light the path with their Home Depot #RichardSpencer brand Tiki torches. By special arrangement with Stephen Miller and #PresidentKelly🚒#VicePresident Trump will honk the fire truck.🚒

Don't take the kids home till they have had a chance to see the #WhiteEvangelical float, featuring #StormyDaniels in all her "natural" glory.

For more information on the #GoldToiletDoctrine... bbc.com/news/world-us-…

What, if any, is #CarterPage's role in all of this?🙂🕵️‍♀️🙂

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

Putin's #ReleaseTheMemo Bot Brigade will be live tweeting from the yacht...

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

#BREAKINGNEWS: #RobPorter & #HopeHicks, will not be able to attend due to a minor snafu...

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @putinsclown view original on Twitter

Make double sure to check out the #WhiteEvangelical float, featuring #Stormy and #Danielle, hot off their recent gig at The National Prayer Breakfast. Featuring music by Ted Nugent, and MC services by Billy Bush. Sponsored by Mike Pence's wife.

Of course the big man himself will be there, to show Democrats how to applaud properly even while expressing disdain. Rumor has it Kim Jong-un will be judging the "#BestSaluteAward"

This just in, it's confirmed that Kim Jong-un will be judging the "#BestSaluteAward" but has insisted on two categories (No Doubt To Show His Button Is Bigger than the VP's); The #AdultSalute and The #ChildSalute, to which the Trumpettes of Mar-A-Lago blared... Awwww How Cute!