Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #storytime

Most recents (23)

The best dick I’ve gotten so far🍆🤪 #thread #storytime #storytimethreads #threads #storytimes (very detailed😭)
Before we start just know I’m talking bout my boyfriend the same one that’ BEEN fucking me, the same one that took my virginity😂👐🏽 . Ok so like two weeks ago i mentioned to him that the next time we fuck i wanna make a tape🤦🏽‍♂️
So yesterday we planned on him coming over so that way when he leaves he can tell the guard that he’s coming back so that way they won’t call my house and get me caught😂. But he ain’t come cause my grandma was going out so she said that he can come today but I’m too tired
Read 31 tweets
Some days, I’m amazed by my own charm and grace.

Thursday was not one of those days.

First of all, I was so distracted thinking about the sandwich I was about to go pick up that I literally walked into the wall while passing by the CEO’s office. Like, BAM.

She looked up. #ofcourse
I smiled awkwardly and then ran out the door. In the lobby, the security guy said, “Hope you brought your umbrella.” ☔️

Thinking he was quipping about the overcast weather - geez dude, it’s only sprinkling - the sandwich shop’s across the street, I chuckle and head out
Read 13 tweets
(1) The story of #RubyRidge is nothing but heartbreaking.

Let's take a moment to discuss a story the Federal Government would rather be forgotten. A story of a family that only wanted to worship their God, raise their children, and be left alone.
(2) #StoryTime. Ruby Ridge is an outstretch of mountains in the northernmost part of Idaho, in a county named Boundary, as it rests right along the Canadian border, between the Washington and Montana borders.

When someone wants to be left alone, Ruby Ridge is one place they go.
(3) One person who wished nothing more than to be left alone was Randy Weaver. Weaver was a devout Christian & US Army vet who had become disillusioned with his government; in the early 1980's, he moved his family to a 20-acre plot of land on Ruby Ridge and built himself a home.
Read 27 tweets
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
A family renting a town house were unhappy with their landlord.#Storytime
They said: “Why can we not decorate the house as we please? Why is there mould in the bathroom? Why are the curtains not to our taste?”#Storytime
Read 21 tweets
Hola, insomnes. Os voy a contar un cuento (porque las historias tienen poder, y porque quiero) #Cuento #loscuentosdemamadulce #StoryTime #elcuentodelamonagorda
Esto era un rey que tenía tres hijos. Era ya muy viejo y no sabía a cual de los tres dejar su corona, así que decidió ponerlos a prueba y los envió en busca de la bacía más maravillosa del mundo. El que la consiguiera, sería el rey.
#Cuento #elcuentodelamonagorda
Por si os lo preguntáis, una bacía es una palangana para afeitar, como la que Don Quijote usaba de casco. O eso me dijo mi abuela.
#Cuento #elcuentodelamonagorda
Read 47 tweets
Given our recent conversations about copyright theft, here's a little #Storytime to start off the weekend...
For new followers, #Storytime: in which I live-tweet a story from scratch, for anyone who feels like following it. And it always starts like this:
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
Read 24 tweets
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
There once was a beautiful Queen, who was married to an old and cruel King. #Storytime
She lived in a tower of gold and glass, and slept between sheets of satin and silk, and rarely opened the windows, for fear of hearing the cries of her people. #Storytime
Read 16 tweets
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
The animals of a certain farm had begun to be discontented. They were tired of their usual feed, and the closeness of their quarters.
And so they lobbied the farmer for a change in their circumstances, until at last he lost patience.
Read 15 tweets
#storytime: [Thread] The dark sides of “social” enterprises - #Ableism in disguise

The other day, I was referred to the owner a social enterprise in order to apply job in my profession. The org seemed impressed by my portfolio and I eventually got invited to a job interview.
It all sounded promising and I was excited to meet with the company. Everything went well until they asked about my expectations. I was a bit surprised, since I was already in the job interview, but I highlighted that I’m looking for employment or at least continuous remote work.
Much to my shock, the only thing this organization had to offer was a “sheltered workshop”, where I would be working for free and maybe one day, some employer might hire me on a subsidized job, where I can only be paid minimum wage.
Read 12 tweets
"Uche! Report to the diary room!" Big Brother said so I hurried, as I was about to climb the stairs to the diary room I tripped & fell.


I suddenly woke up & realized I wasn't even in Small Brother, talk more of Big Brother!

My food is burning!😲

Big Brother😭

I quickly went to the kitchen & luckily my stew was only slightly burnt, I turned off the gas & started to reflect on the dream I had - I was discussing with Miracle and Nina, then I massaged Koko's back before Big Brother called me.

"What does this dream mean?" I asked myself..
While still pondering I reached for the little raw rice I had left, I decided to boil & eat for the weekend because I was broke & couldn't access money till the following week.

After putting the rice on fire I went to tune my Dstv to channel 198; just to watch Big Brother Naija!
Read 72 tweets
So me and my ex boyfriend had very bad problems. I’d argue over who ate the last Dount, yes stuff like that 😩🤦🏽‍♂️ so one day he text me talking bout “i don’t wanna be in the relationship anymore” i’m okay i’ve been thinking that for the longest. We aruging. Then i get a
text from his mom. He like “Why you break up with my son???” i’m so confused i’m like your son broke up with me sister 😂 so i’m over her. I text him back with a long paragraph, longer than an essay. So he reply with a “🖕🏽👊🏾” i’m like he want to fight me 😂?
so next morning
Read 9 tweets
I was 16 years old and my mom was acting suspicious because she normally don’t leave the house as late as she was 2 months ago. So i’m coming home from school i see my mom sleep on the couch and she don’t get off until 5:30 and it was 3:50 that’s why i was confused.
later that night i was getting out the shower and i guess my mom “Friend” was walking by and i bumped into him and my towel spilt so my legs was out and he started liking his lips and i pushed passed him to go to my room.
It was like 7 men coming in and out the house. That
Read 13 tweets
There were five
of us in that
that dropped
It was
an everyday day
good weather
high hopes
We all ended our day
at the same time
which was why
five strangers
were in
that elevator
that #Monday
The doors closed
that #Monday
but nothing happened
He jammed the close button
The other grumbled,
some version
"Always when
your trying to
get home"
The doors
the elevator jumped
we froze
a collective intake
then we fell
we braced ourselves
and each other
one screamed
another managed
to hit the alarm
but it keep going
alarm screaming
us screaming
twenty stories
an impossibly
fast drop in
slow motion
three of us
on the floor
the handrail
then it was
Read 5 tweets
Two wildest times I’ve had sex 🤦🏾‍♂️😂😂 #storytime #threads
I’ll start with the more recent one. So this was this past weekend and Me and my girlfriend Jasmine were going out to eat for my birthday so I get ready and drive to her and when I get there her sister answer the door
So I was like “wassup Jessie is your sister ready yet” and she’s like “child you know she be taking the longest showers ever” so I go in the house and sit on the couch for a while then her sister left and Jasmine was still in the shower 🙄 BUT
Read 19 tweets
Why do some girls love making everything an issue, & for love sake you'll be dying inside for peace to reign.

I chose to work out to aid my discovery after I quit my job so I registered in a gym. I met Lucy, everything was ok until my girlfriend saw us together.


I had just joined the gym classes & my routine was still light, I was running on treadmills to build my fitness before I'd begin working on my body.

I got to the gym quite early on this occasion & I was alone, I started to work out & more people joined me.
While I was running on the treadmill I plugged music in my ears so I didn't notice people around me, after I had ran to my satisfaction I turned it off and when I got down from the treadmill I noticed this lady waiting for me to finish.

"You're done yeah?" She asked

"Yeah!" 😤
Read 62 tweets
#StoryTime my first time 😁💕 #THREAD just because im bored:::
okay so this alll started last year, almost a year ago.. i was at my granny’s house in mississippi again.. y’all remember the first thread?? yeah that one. she dont be caring
okeey, soooo i was still 15 at the time. i was at my momo house and we were about to go to this easter party, it was in april & at first i was like no ion wanna go butttt then i changed my mind (THANK GOD)
Read 25 tweets
Here is a long #storytime #thread that has nothing to do with what you think it might:

So I was looking up someone's filmography on Wikipedia (like one does) and eventually found out he was on Sesame Street!
And I was excited because that's an amazing show that made my childhood what it was. So I was going down the rabbit hole that is Wiki, looking at the different cast members, loving the fact that the show is so diverse, when I thought to myself I can't believe it's still going on!
So I searched "why is Sesame Street..." I actually meant to type in "how is Sesame Street still making episodes," but when I typed in the "why" question, I accidentally clicked "why is Sesame Street bad." Only a couple credible sources actually popped up...
Read 12 tweets
SUGAR DADDY EXPERIENCE! #storytime #thread
So one day me and my friend let’s call her Deyjah , we was at the mall & we was mainly just window shopping like we had no money so were in Victoria secret pointing out bras & shit that we wish we had💀 When outta no where this tall ass white man is like “ I can get that for you”
And I look at deyjah like 🤨, deyjah says “ no we’re fine , we just looking” and he’s like” no really pick out a few things I’d love too get them for you “ so we like say no moree😂😂😂😂so me and deyjah like
Read 16 tweets
1/ How Writers Can Make the Most of Twitter -Thread from @SallyAlbright and @CapWaterfront Please Retweet
2/ Brainstorming - Scan your TL or better yet, search a hashtag or keyword and see if anything inspires you. Other people's lists are good too. And you can use your TL or list as a prompt ("Write something about the 14th tweet down")
3/ Research - I'm always asking questions on Twitter and Facebook. There's always someone out there who knows, who has been there, or done that. You can also reach out to specific accounts of people who know your topic.
Read 20 tweets
Should I do a Twitter Tips thread and go over how these tools work? There's nothing nefarious, but there's some cool free stuff we use for professional accounts that anyone can use.

Also I have a "Twitter for Writers" piece if anyone wants to take a look.
Ok let's start with things that make Berners' heads explode.

We tell everyone, leave your own tweets at the top when you log off. Not just your pinned tweet, your current stuff. I usually hit the top two in my mentions. This is free advertising. In weird twitter it's currency
Buffer is a great tool for scheduling tweets. There are a ton of apps that let you post to multiple platforms but with Buffer the posts don't go out at the same time. You can also schedule tweets at optimum times based on your when your followers are online
Read 42 tweets
#Threads #storytime How I found out my cuzo was a thot
Okay so this all went down me an her freshman year
Okay let’s say her name is Nicole ( not really Nicole) okay so a lot of people thought Nicole was fine & a lot of dudes always tried to get at her
Read 10 tweets
#thread How I fucked my cousin IN MY HOUSE #storytime
I'm not telling y'all when this happened.. But just know it was a cookout. Dark aab outside and I'm mad cause ion fw my family fr fr except for Rya... smile's sister, BTW I changed her name as well. So I'm waiting for my fav cousin to come so we can walk arnd and find some dick-
I hear family greeting and see huggin and im like who dat 👀Moments later Smile walks in..we have some sexual history so It was kinda weird seeing him. I'm like "heey ugly where's your sister?" He said "she coming nigga chill". so I'm like cool finna get some dick and-
Read 12 tweets
🕹️Hilo sobre mi experiencia estudiando videojuegos🕹️✨
Empezaré por el primer año, aunque ya había visitado la uni antes, seguía sin poder orientarme, pero entonces giré el pasillo y me encontré a muchas personas con camisetas frikis "This is my people" pensé
Entre esas personas recuerdo a @pabb64 que llevaba una camiseta del Zelda y a @WildCroqueta que llamaba la atención por su pelo rosa. A ella la había visto de antes así que decidí acercarme que estaba con otra chica más.
Read 188 tweets

Related hashtags

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!